DS says DH hogs the T.V

[tastylikemustard]

DS 21 has told me his is a bit annoyed with DH as he hogs the TV, DH is planning in retiring in a couple of years and is currently reducing his hours at work which means he's at home more than he used to be. DH when he's home often watches the T.V, he has some annoying habits too, speaking on the phone to one of his mates whilst he's still watching T.V. DH occasionally comments how much DS stays in his bedroom in a jokey kind of way, DS however has said its because what most things DH wants to watch on T.V is the complete opposite as to what he wants to watch. DS has a computer in his bedroom which he can watch Netflix, ITV Hub things like that on. AIBU in telling DH to not hog the T.V as much?

Nowadays, 21 is not that old AT ALL to still live at home.

Do they not communicate between themselves? Or are you the intermediary? Can't everyone just sit down and air their grievances?

I'd knock their heads together and tell them to bloody sort themselves out

This is a real question. Is it normal for guys to chat that much on the phone? Maybe its just the world I live in but guys dont tend to be chatting for an hour on the phone as often as it sounds like this guy is.

Why cant your husband run his own bath?

Your son should get his own TV for his room and your DH should run his own bath.

Does your son have a job?

Your husband sounds pig ignorant with the talking on the phone while watching tv. So not only can no-one else choose what is on the tv, but then they can't even watch what he puts on because he's yapping away? No wonder your DS stays in his room.

The bath thing is also extremely rude.

DS is starting his masters next month and he has a weekend job currently

Weird dynamic and faults at both sides.

So weird, why is your dh asking his son to run him a bath? Is he not able to? So so so weird!!! I feel bad for your son

I agreed with the first reply, to what you posted in your OP but your second post seems to describe a pretty weird dynamic all round.

Why on earth is your ds running a bath for your dh ?

I also think if he needs to take a call, basic manners say you step out of the room.

There is much more going on here than your ds not being able to watch a TV prog he wants to.

Is there ever a time when you are all in the house at the same time? Do you speak to each other? What does DH speak to his mates about, can't they go out and meet each other instead?

I think your DH is BU.
I don't buy into the whole "my house, my rules" it's not a massive thing to respect your own children. It's like people thinking adults don't apologise to children and if you threaten something you have to follow through. It's all about maintaining power over them imo.

Three people living in a house should get some choice over what's on TV. It's called sharing. Your child isn't going to start doing drugs if you give them the remote.

Your DH even asking your DS to run him a bath is just lazy and selfish imo but to then delay getting in when you know your son wants a shower is just so selfish, does he not care at all about DSs needs or time.

Honestly he just sounds like he hasn't given a seconds thought to how others in the house may feel by complaining about DS being in his room all the time despite hogging the TV while not actually watching it and telling DS to watch TV when he's not there.

Oh my giddy aunt, this is so fucking weird. Who watches TV with their parents? This isn't the 80s, is there a reason your son has to watch TV with your dh? Tv's are ridiculously cheap, get a second tv. Mine got their own tvs from young teens, actually even before that. He's 21, I'm sure he has some money saved or a pt job or something.

And tell your dh to run his own fucking bath..... I've actually never heard of this shit....

Unless your dh is severely disabled and your son is his carer, there needs to be some changes made. This is a very strange set up.

@YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer

This is a real question. Is it normal for guys to chat that much on the phone? Maybe its just the world I live in but guys dont tend to be chatting for an hour on the phone as often as it sounds like this guy is.

Why cant your husband run his own bath?

My DH can spend hour too. They are just into each other😂 I dunno.

I would get if he shouted up "while you up there can you rhn me a bath"to save walk up the stairs. But if he does it even when ds is busy that's shit. Tv clogging is a different matter though. Does he talk on the phone while all of you are watching something? Just tell gim to move elsewhere.

Why are you getting pulled into it, they can both be responsible for their own feelings and actions. DS should refuse to run any more baths, DH should be more considerate taking phone calls but neither of them should make it your problem, nor should you.

I'd buy your son a TV for his room. Your husband sounds incredibly annoying. Another TV would help diffuse the situation and help their relationship.

This is like a thread from the 1980s

@HollowTalk

I'd buy your son a TV for his room. Your husband sounds incredibly annoying. Another TV would help diffuse the situation and help their relationship.

This.

Good luck with his retirement.

It’s obviously just lack of communication

Asking someone to run a bath if they’re upstairs is fine. Wanting to have a shower in about an hour then it’s fine to run someone a bath if they’re getting straight in.

So DH should shout up. Oh sorry DS, I’m on the phone now so if you need a shower just g is head.
Or DS should shout down the stairs, dad are you going to be long on the phone? If so I’ll take a shower now.

How is that hard?

Also no 21 year old ever likes watching homes under the hammer. And as long as they don’t ever not speak it’s fine.

Has he always been like this? I know it’s taboo on MN to suggest ageing is a factor in behavioural changes, but my dad - who has always been territorial about the telly - is now getting quite weird about it. If someone wants to go to the toilet in the ad break, he’ll insist on pausing the TV and then fast-forwarding through the ads when they come back. I’ll say just leave it running; it’s not like we save any time from it - but it’s ‘Oh no, I can’t watch the adverts; I can’t’. As if some unstoppable force will take over and, although he doesn’t want any Cillit Bang or Nescafé, he’ll be powerless not to buy it if he sees the ad.

He’ll also go out to buy the Sunday paper, sit down to read it, then look at what you’re watching and say ‘Oh no, I can’t have this on’ 🙄🙄

I lived at home until 23 and I cannot think of anything worse than watching TV with my parents. Rather sit in my room alone, watch what I want in peace and not have people talking through it. Maybe encourage your son to save for a TV for his room?

Your husband sounds like a pig tbh, lazy and arrogant! He's a grown arse man and he can't even run himself a bath or remove himself from the room to take a call? Somethings up here.... sounds like you've actually got 2 kids.

I feel sorry for your son.

Your DH sounds entitled and lazy.

This is why I never again will live with a man. They think theyre god.
Most of my friends have to watch crime dramas all the time because its all their men will watch 🤮

Most of my friends have to watch crime dramas all the time because its all their men will watch
Sorry but that's on them. If you want something, say it. If you quietly go with they flow, don't moan.