Very quick straw poll - who is right, me or DH?

[cluelesshostess]

We have a house full of teen guests who've been here all day- which is lovely. It's never happened before due to a difficult Y7 followed by Covid then various people being on holiday.

So I went up about an hour ago asking if they wanted tea/to stay for tea and all politely said no. Fine but still no sign of them going! Also fine but obviously we are going to eat. But I say we cook loads extra and offer again when it's ready and DH says we cook for ourselves and ds and then they will leave. Who is right?

You gave them the option take it or leave it. They don't want it, stop fretting.

Let them know you are eating at xx do they want some or are they going

Cook like you are batch cooking.

Tell them tea time is at X and there's enough food for everyone.

Last shout as you and DH sit down to eat.

See what happens!

why is this even a problem! Just go and tell them you are about to start cooking, has anyone changed their mind? then start cooking

They are year 7, its different from primary school. No need to mother them

I'd go back and say you are cooking 'x', it will be ready by 'y' do they want to join you after all or will they be gone by then.

Simples.

And in future, say that first time round.

i have teens and in this case I would cook for the us and keep theirs until their friends are gone.
Your teen can reheat / eat it cold.
You've already offered and they're grand. My teen would accuse me of being 'extra' i.e. - too hospitable!! and says if they want food they would say.

Let your teen enjoy having company and get on with your own dinner

Yep, this.

I's do the "last chance shout now thing to eat at xxx" saying something like you are welcome but I am not arm twisting. Its what I would do with adults in the same circs.

Just cook for yourself. The teens will either vanish when you serve up, or you can save some for your DC for later.

apart from anything else their own families will probably be cooking for them!

I would cook loads, then say 'I've made loads of xxxx, anyone want some?
And see what happens

I'd ask once more then if they decline I'd just make enough for yourselves and put ds's aside for when his friends have gone.
If ds states he's starving and wants his now then I'd probably offer his friends a bag of crisps and remind them that I had offered.

My actual teen says you should only cook for themselves - they don't want food :)

I can guarantee that if you took up a load of cheese on toast they would devour it.

Well I probably wouldn't have enough in for everyone so I'd be cooking for the family & the son eats his when he wants.

I think they're just being polite and you should make something for them.

I never cook and expect them to sit with us, have you any pizzas or snacks/drinks ? Just drop in whatever you have, and leave them to it. They can always call for pizza delivery if they are hungry later. Enjoy a peaceful dinner! It is polite to ask, and they politely declined and probably didn't fancy enduring a family dinner or to put you out in any way.

Definitely cool extra and take it in for them. They are being polite which is sweet

They have homes to go to where they can eat-they'll be ok!

Your DH is right.

But for the future, I'd say it's best to call your DC down and tell them to go up and ask the friends if they want dinner.

Kids are often to shy to say yes to the parents but will do so to their friends.

@footprintsintheslow

Definitely cool extra and take it in for them. They are being polite which is sweet

Or their parents will have dinner waiting for them later.

If they have been there "all day" have you already given then lunch/snacks/drinks?

You text your teen and ask them 'I'm doing dinner shall I do extra for your friends or shall we just eat without you?' And leave teen to it if no reply.

Or if you are really nice and can afford suggest teen orders domino's.

Text your child
Do you and your friends want dinner?

Then if no, you save your child's and they will eat when there friends go home

Dont send the friends home and make your child come to eat , thats embarrassing