Aibu to not want to be a family hotel?

[Alis1beelbals]

we’re in the position for the first time in a few years that we have a spare room! Only problem is the mil is already hinting at oh I can have my own room and your sister (my sil) and family (baby and husband) can all stay and visit
Aibu to feel peeved off that we’re already been considered as a free hotel?
Not sure if relevant but Mil lives two hours away and comes regularly for the day and sil lives a good five hours drive so we only see them once a year
Can’t say I really like either of them ,but it’s my husband’s family and kids grandparent/aunt cousin.
Would you go with it? or put foot down early? And how??? What words are not too harsh ,to decline weekend guests??? I’m not normally confrontational but don’t want to be taken advantage of and husband is way too polite he has a problem saying no to his mum

@LadyFannyButton

maybe she was planning on making it her walking wardrobe or something

😁

I think yabu and it sounds like your partner doesn't have much of a backbone to stand up to any of the women in his life! You don't know that your sil will actually want to visit, her mother has hinted but if she only sees you once a year maybe she isn't that keen on you either! As for your mil visiting unless you own the home outright I don't see how it is fair for you to veto her coming over at all. That being said you do need firm boundaries, so she would need to check in on you both to see if you are free and you would expect her to take care of herself ie. get her own breakfast and not expect to be entertained.

What is your spare room for? Office/study? Craft room?
If it has a specific purpose then kit it out for that.
If you don't want overnight guests then you'll probably need to say so. It will be bloody awkward but at least everyone will know where they stand.

I have never conducted having family to stay, or staying with family, as a “free hotel”

People sometimes like to see family snd spend time with them

@ChewChewPanda

Why do you have a guest room if you don’t want visitors? A four hour round trip is quite a long one for your MIL to make regularly, in her position I’d really like the option to stay sometimes.

It sounds like your husband is quite close to (at least) his MIL given the frequent visits so yes I think you are being unreasonable. If you don’t want the BIL to come too then don’t invite him though a visit once a year doesn’t exactly sound like he is overstaying his welcome.

This ^

YANBU. You are under no obligation to host anyone, ever. That is what Airbnb/Premier Inn is for.

Sit down with dh and negotiate a limit: MIL two weekends/year? SIL one? Or MIL 4, SIL never? Whatever you and dh can live with.

Then let him communicate that as he sees fit.

Turn it into an Office..

no bed ..

sorted ☺️

YANBU. I think its the entitled way it was phrased thats put your back up, like theyre just assuming that a room in your home is theirs to command as they see fit. I'd maybe drop in a few remarks about having a long list of friends who are owed visits and that the schedules getting booked up! Just in case you have unexpected drop ins with the expectation of weekends away at yours, because you know, its 'their room'....

Not so much the spare room bit, but the MIL as a guest expecting to invite other guests to stay without any discussion is quite weird.
I think I would say "Yes, that would be lovely to have a day/day out together but if they want to stay overnight, we will need to sort out somewhere else nearby."

I agree!!! It’s not a spare room if it isn’t “spare” ours is a home gym with no hope of a bed fitting in!!!

I agree with the others just make your spare room into an office/gym/remove the bed.

Could you put your MIL up in a local hotel? 2 hours drive IS quite long.