Massages

[Pollypocket89]

Aibu to feel comfortable with this? This morning at work a male friend gave me a 2 minute shoulder massage. I've known him years and feel comfortable with him as I know how it was intended but a few people looked like WTF afterwards as I'm married but I didn't see anything in it other than friendly intentions

Would you assume they were attracted to you or just friendly if someone did that to you?

Not exactly professional, is it?

Like a shoulder massage?

Either way, I’d second that it doesn’t seem at all professional, or appropriate really…

But I’m struggling to visualise this!

I don't see any problems, as long as your ok with it.

I know colleagues that have this sort of relationship so it doesn't seem weird to me. Colleagues can be good friends too.

I've not had colleagues do this but do this with platonic friends all the time despite being married. Massage doesn't have to be a sensual thing or only something couples do to each other.

How do you end up in the situation where you’re getting rubbed by someone else in the office?

Is this a reverse? And perhaps a female college has gave your DH a massage and you're wondering if there is something else behind it?
That's what I'm getting from this.

That is wierd as fuck. I've had really good friend colleagues and would maybe tolerate a woman doing it for 2 seconds.. a man, for 2 minutes, lol no way!

The closest I've got to this is us pushing each other around the office on our wheelie chairs for a laugh (when we were very young).

YANBU
Colleagues can be good friends. And a 2min shoulder rub doesn’t equate to wanting sex. I find this attitude that opposite sex cannot be good friends and affectionate without it being about sex baffling. I’m bi, so does that mean I can only accept affection from my partner the rest of my life? It’s a strange rule that only seems to apply to heterosexuals.

It’s a weird and unprofessional thing to do in the office, best friends forever or not, male or female. I don’t think the askance glances were anything to do with you being married.

That's not work appropriate behaviour

I have male and female friends who I’d give and accept massages to and from. But y’know - at home. In one of our living rooms.

I wouldn't let a bloke massage me.

Unless you both work as massage therapists this is completely inappropriate behaviour in the workplace, and probably quite uncomfortable for your colleagues to have to witness.

Too much.
I’d think it’s weird.

Wouldn’t like my DH giving someone a massage a work

I think it would only seems appropriate if you had a headache or something something and they asked if it may help
Someone pitching up behind me and doing that would make me feel uncomfortable

If I had to sit near someone getting a 2 minute shoulder massage at work whilst I worked on my excel then I'd definitely be giving you a funny look - totally not appropriate for the workplace! No one should be touching each other

I've been friends with some of my colleagues for years but I would find this really weird!

I don't think the massage is an issue, but it seems deeply inappropriate in the workplace.

Sorry that's not appropriate behaviour for the office!

Double standards and terribly old fashioned of me, but I agree with PP I could just about understand female colleagues doing this for a second or two. Definitely not for 2 minutes bet it was longer and definitely not between a male and female (heterosexual) colleagues!

As someone who suffers with my back and neck, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this. If you’d sneaked into a spare room maybe it would have seemed more suspicious but in front of everyone? Why does it have to be such a big deal? I had one the other day from a colleague, I had been struggling for a few days and I really appreciated it. Happily married and no groans of ecstasy going on. Hands on shoulders fully clothed, don’t see what the problem is. Maybe some environments are more suitable than others, I can see that. Surely not a complete no-no though.

I think it's really inappropriate. If my husband gave someone else a massage at work I would be like wtf

Weird AF. Unprofessional and looks like you two are … well into each other. Not good. You may not see anything in it. He might.

@PlanDeRaccordement

YANBU Colleagues can be good friends. And a 2min shoulder rub doesn’t equate to wanting sex. I find this attitude that opposite sex cannot be good friends and affectionate without it being about sex baffling. I’m bi, so does that mean I can only accept affection from my partner the rest of my life? It’s a strange rule that only seems to apply to heterosexuals.

The opposite sex can be friends without rubbing each other in the office.. though.

My best friend I found at work.. male.. once I gave him a big hug when his wife fucked off. It doesn’t really make a difference that it’s a man + woman combo. I wouldn’t want anyone rubbing me in the office.