To not want to break my neck at his flat!

[Sparklfairy]

First World problem and generally lighthearted but a real possibility it could happen.

I've been on a few dates with someone. After a meal we went to hang out at his flat. His flat has an unusual layout where the stairs up to it are in the middle of the actual flat, with half the rooms on each side iyswim. Theres no door or gate at the top of the steep stairs, the entrance door is at the bottom.

Because its so unusual I forgot and a few times over the course of the evening I came inches from falling down them. For context I had a head injury which causes vertigo, so I have to kind of stop and collect myself before going down escalators etc. I've also realised I kind of round door frames really closely, which led to the close calls as it was like I was expecting a floor and there wasn't one

Short of remembering to sidle along the edge of the opposite wall every time I need a piss, what can I do? I'm not asking someone I barely know to put in a baby gate or anything like that obviously, but they really are steep with not much landing (!) space at the bottom, so flinging yourself down them at speed would definitely be some broken bones or worse.

I don’t think I’m visualising this correctly — I don’t think I’ve ever lived anywhere there was a door or gate at the top of the stairs…? Do you mean the stairs just start going down through a gap in the floor, so that if you walked across the room without paying attention, you might fall down the stairwell?

Agree with PP, I can’t visualise what you mean/

I used to live somewhere with a similar layout (I think) but I’m not sure what to advise! It was a maisonette / cottage flat, with a main door and someone else living downstairs.

Getting a baby gate to fit the gap was actually quite difficult as it was wider than a doorway. I don’t think that’s workable for you though.

Surely as you get used to the layout you’ll just be more aware?

I've been in flats like you describe, but luckily they've had children/dog, so had a safety gate. If things progress then you could ask him to get a gate, but until then, stay sober.

Can you leave something on the floor near the stairs to remind you, your shoes or bag or something? I'm struggling to imagine the layout so I don't know if that would work or not.

My top floor room is like this, so I think you just need to remember the stairs are there. There is a wall either side of the stairs, isn't there?

I had a two storey duplex like this. You get used to it. Don't put anything near the top step like a rug or you'll trip over and fall down the stairs!

Sorry for the crap diagram, couldn't find a pen so had to use an eye pencil

Yes its a maisonette. Obviously I know ill get more used to the layout but when you're walking from one side to the other this steep drop just appears beside you. He said it doesn't bother him but his mum has mentioned it. I'm not sure how much is my vertigo tbh. I really do need a bit of warning to steady myself, clutch the banister before most flights of stairs/escalators, and when I didn't get that the dizziness started and it would be so easy to fall if I was too close.

It was him that joked about the baby gate haha.

You just need to make yourself super conscious of it so you’re always aware when walking around his flat. You’ll get used to knowing they’re there.

How does walking past a stair case put you at risk of falling sideways down them

Something like this, but with walls instead of railings?

I’ve seen this type of layout before. Maybe drape a fluorescent or brightly coloured coat on the handrail next to the top step so that attention is drawn to the edge.

Could you put a little nightlight at the top?

Exactly @JeSuisPrest!

I know its a "me problem" as it doesn't bother him at all, I just wondered if anyone had any tips/experience with a) this layout and b) vertigo that I haven't thought of.

At this rate I'll be glued to his sofa and not move, because the injuries with one mistake won't be minor, and I could do without being out of action as I'm self employed, if I can't work, I don't get paid.

I lived in a maisonette like this for 7 years and I never fell down the stairs even when wandering out to the loo in the pitch black in the middle of the night. to be honest, it never even occurred to me that I would.

You'll get used to it.

@ActonSquirrel

How does walking past a stair case put you at risk of falling sideways down them

vertigo. (ort in my case hypermobility, or dyspraxia or pots or other disabilities)

fucking hell. I have nightmares about that scenario. apparently I fell down such a set of stairs when I was a toddler and they still freak me out.

I dreamt about falling regularly until someone told me I had fallen.

@DareDevil223 yeah it must be the vertigo that's being triggered then. I can't explain it very well.

The suggestion of a light is good. Maybe I could have some signs made up saying don't forget the stairs

Having trouble envisaging this tbh. From your diagram it looks like there are walls of the rooms on either side of the stairs - so is it just that you walk past the top of the stairs and it makes you feel dizzy?!

Dog gate, they are higher than a toddler gate. or a garden gate attached to the wall. I have dismantled furniture strapped to my banisters to keep me from falling over them.

My nanna has this layout and she has a baby gate at the top of the stairs. She is old now but it was out there when she was in her early 60s. She also has a curtain across it because the place can get very cold. I totally understand what you mean about walking past it.

Is this not what all stairs are like though? I'm so confused. I always have to walk past the top of the stairs which is outside my bedroom door, to get to the toilet or any other room upstairs.

Spend your time together at your place rather than his.

@BlackeyedSusan I'm glad somebody gets it! Even at the top of the stairs to my own flat I have to stop at the top and steady myself. Balconies are the worst. One minute I'll be enjoying the view and then I just feel sick and dizzy.

So yes, @SimonedeBeauvoirscat it is walls, and when the sudden drop jumped out at me (admittedly not expecting it and hopefully I'll get used to it) I started feeling dizzy and it was scary to think how an accident could happen (to me).

@HalloHello I think its where the space is narrow, the stairs are steep and in both of our flats the steps are shorter iykwim. I'm fine with the stairs in my mums house for example, but have never got used to my ones.

Is it because it’s like this holiday cottage we’re in? Where there’s no gap between the doors and top of the stairs?

Because initially I was worried we might turn out of the bedrooms without thinking and fall down the stairs, but it’s been fine