I just think it’s the implication in several comments that the man is a “bad guy” for seeking sole custody. “Why can’t he just take 50/50?” Whereas if the roles were reversed most responses would be “well, I’m sure she has her reasons for seeking sole custody”
Sole custody is extreme. It involves ensuring that the children have no contact whatsoever with one of their parents. It is rarely granted and requires a parent to really be going some for it to happen. My ex tried it, on account of my mental health. Because he thought that he, as ‘mental health professional’ would be believed. He told Social Services I was refusing to take my medication. Would have been fine except I have no mental health issues on my medical record (nor off my medical record) and I was not on any medication, let alone medication for my non-exsistent mental health problems. Let’s just say the judge tore a strip off his solicitor and barrister. He also denied that one of our children was his and got bollocked a second time when the judge was shown the CSA paperwork that showed he had failed to agree to a DNA test.
In short, lots of people (usually men) believe that but the virtue of being male, they can say what they want and will be believed. They believe the courts will do what they want because, inevitably, they earn more and are More Important therefore the children must be with them. What the courts actually look for is any evidence of poor parenting that is poor enough to be detrimental to the well-being of the children and then, once serial killer status isn’t established, they look at the status quo as being in the children’s best interests. . It is telling that the OP has talked about ‘fair’ and we’re still having to have this conversation.
My children have lived with me for the last 14 years, just in case you’re in any doubt. I have held down a full-time professional job, been promoted and have had given my children the best childhood I could. They have seen their dad every week whilst he skulks about, hiding behind self employ,ent as a means by which to avoid maintenance. He has bought them fuck all of any significance ever. I have done every haircut, school uniform, trip, device, phone….I have done every doctor, dentist and hospital appointment. For a man who wanted sole custody, he has been very much conspicuous by his absence.
OP - legal advice as soon as possible. Wikivorce.com is also a really useful place for good quality information.