What were your family struggles growing up?

[MeiganMcSeinna6]

father leaving when i was younger.

Watching a sibling receive a better education in a private school whilst I had to make do with the local comp.

My mum’s mental health issues/eating disorder.

I have very little to complain about in the grand scheme of things. My parents’ divorce and subsequent horrible subsequent relationship between them (and the knock on effects) was definitely our biggest challenge.

Clocktopus I think you may have just written about me !!! Emotional abuse stems from first teenage boyfriend and has lasted ever since.
As a child my parents have never ONCE told me they love me. I can't remember ever being cuddled either (unless my dad was drunk. The smell of alcohol on someone's breath still makes me cringe to this day). My parents arnt bad people just not very maternal/paternal. They don't show any interest in any of their grand children much either. Shame really. I tell my kids every day that I love them. I never want them to feel as unloved as I do

Alcoholic father who worked hard but drank the earnings. Mum who held everything together working 2 jobs to pay a mortgage when the interest rates shot up to 18%. DF was prone to fits of rage and depression but was really a product of his own upbringing which involved alcoholism and children's homes.

Luckily my maternal grandmother was a daily and stable influence who helped my mum with us to allow her to work and also financially.

A parent with alcoholism and mental health problems.
Lack of money due to the above and the stresses and strains of not being able to make ends meet.

Insecure mother who stayed with my father who commented/perved on other women all the time. In turn we weren’t allowed to have sky tv incase there were women on he might comment on. I grew up seeing all other women as a threat and being insecure with how I look (I am now accepting of myself and know I’m attractive and my husband tells me I’m beautiful every day!) Mother still with father and had a miserable life and hates how she looks! In turn I resent them both!!

We didn’t live in the UK until I was about eight, we were looked after by a neighbour until then, so really she was our mum. Losing her was awful and had a significant negative effect on me and my siblings. Our mother was really awful, but her abuse really became a lot worse when we moved to the UK, before then she only focused on our Dad, but once here she really focused us. Thankfully they did split up, social services became involved, they chose to only protect our sister so we were forced to live with her until we were old enough that the police would stop returning us. She went on to have more children (in the time we still had to live with her), she was purposely really nice to them in front of us.

Shes a horrible person, she had a good loving childhood, her parents and siblings are all nice, caring and loving people. Shes fucked us all up in various ways, but shes fucked our sister up the most as she was generally encouraged to act like our Mother.

Emotionally distant parent.
Period of unemployment (sahm) for my dad but he found another job before we got into proper financial trouble. This was the 80s, though.

Father with anger issues and sexist beliefs
Violent brother (who I hope grew out of it
Doormat mother

All 3 combined has turned me into a complete people pleaser. I rarely stand up for myself or tell people what I’m thinking

Dad lost his job in the 90's while mum was working part time after having my youngest sister. Dad turned to illegal activities to keep food on the table and the lights on. It worked most of the time. He was such a lovely man but he did what he had to for his family. Thankfully, after a year or so he got a decent job. We were still hand to mouth but we managed. Any birthday money etc we got was always "borrowed".

Mum struggled with her mental health, jealousy, anxiety. She had raging postnatal depression that she never got help for and she couldn't cope with me or my sisters. We weren't allowed out with friends or to have anyone over. Accused of having an affair with my dad whenever he took my side in an argument. She constantly drew attention to my changing body and how boys would never stop trying to rape me now that I had breasts.

I grew up with horrendous anxiety and struggled to trust anyone. It doesn't sound much but she was relentless. I worked hard at school at first and got really good grades only to be met with "oh right, so you think you're something now do you?", so I stopped trying and coasted. I'm only now, in my 30s getting the qualifications for my dream job.

Alcoholic parents, abusive mother. It was ignored by teachers etc because my parents were nice middle class people with good jobs who couldn't possibly be like that.

Emotional abuse , neglect, beatings , coming home from school to the pub due to my mother's drink problem. It was a shitshow really

Sending strength to those who are still suffering.

Dad went to prison. Mum had an accident that left her with undiagnosed PTSD. The result of that was basically an emotionally detached parent for a while.if it wasn't for my maternal grandparents I don't know what would have happened to us. Mum's partner turned out to be a gambler. He ran away with her compensation money and left us in debt so we lost everything.

Poverty. Not from lack of trying from my parents just low paying jobs.
But they were supportive and loving and amazing.

Never any money. Alcoholic father. Unhappy mother who didn’t do any kind of parenting after we reached age of about 12 . Both parents smoked about 40 cigarettes a day each. Sister and I fought like animals everyday . Brothers both left home at age 16 .I thought we were normal.

My Mum died when I was 5, much older siblings because I was adopted ( from within her wider family, fairly common in the 1960’s) . I don’t remember a single thing about my childhood from 5-10.

My Dad remarried and moved away when I was 9/10 and I ended up staying in the family home with my nearest Sister who is 13 years older, her husband was a charming psychopath and from 10-16 I was under his complete abusive control, as was she, never sexually abused but the threat was always there from 13/14, sexual comments, exposure to porn etc.
My Stepmother would send bags of charity shop ‘old lady’ clothes for me, that was the extent of she and my Father’s involvement in my life .
Secondary school was horrific, bullying so bad that my hair fell out, instigated by the girl I lived next door to, I was bewildered because we had grown up together, I pretty much had a breakdown at 13 and spent months out of school. I managed to find a couple of good friends at 14 and that got me through.

My BiL threw me out of the house at 16, I had just started college and had to leave and do YTS instead, I’d received £300 from a savings policy my birth Mother (she died when I was 2) had set up and he made me hand over all but £50. I lived with my eldest Sister’s family for a couple of years, sleeping on the sofa and giving her £10 of my £25 YTS money for my keep, her husband was a window cleaner and didn’t earn much and my niece was at Primary school.

I met DH at 17 and when he joined the military, his family took me in until we got married and I joined him.
That was all 35+ years ago, my Sister is now alone in a grim flat after losing everything, about 12 years ago psycho ex-BiL left her, ill and disabled with a crumbling house and no income.
I’m her only family left.

Lots like others. As an adult I can see the poor choices made where adult wants came first regardless.
I’ve parented very very differently as a result and would make very different choices.

Financially great upbringing with a beautiful, empathetic mother and a father who meant well but was a high-functioning alcoholic which lead to periods of emotional and verbal abuse; belittling and scapegoating which made my childhood difficult and very confusing.

None. I was very lucky to have a supportive home.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss

Lots like others. As an adult I can see the poor choices made where adult wants came first regardless. I’ve parented very very differently as a result and would make very different choices.

Thank god for this generation who uses birth control. Our parents generation, a lot of them just had kids because that's what you did, not because they really wanted them.

On the whole I was pretty lucky, but between the ages of 6/7 both my nans died and my mum also hit perimenopause and had a breakdown.

She was claustrophobic and agoraphobic for a while. I remember running to a neighbours house one Sunday when she took to her bed and kept saying she wanted to die and dad didn't know what to do to help her.

She had lots of group therapy and began to function again but has always been very highly strung and anxious.

Father who was the angriest man in the world. Endless ranting and raving (and slapping). Left scars for sure.

I may not have been the best dad ever but I can go to my grave knowing I was a lot better than him.

My parents tumultuous relationship and lots of emotional and physical abuse at the hands of my mother. My father is dead now but I strongly believe they both had undiagnosed mental illness. One time in the car when I was six and my brother was 12 they were having a huge fight and my mum pulled the hand break in bad temper while he was doing about 60mph and the car spun out of control and we are so lucky there was no other cars on the road at the same time! I was so relieved when they finally split up.

My brother was 2 I meant, not 12!