If you work FT...

[kravestix]

What do you do with your kids?

I have a three year old starting school next September. I've been looking at FT jobs but coming up blank about what to do with my child. There's school holidays and once he starts School, the school day is much shorter than FT jobs which typically finish between 5pm and 6pm.

So what do people do with their kids?

By monitor I mean don’t do what I did and lose sight of the impact FT is having on your family. Especially kids, check they’re enjoying childcare not dreading it.

Regularly assess your financial situation and if paying for all the childcare is worth it. Add it up for the year as covering the summer holidays is expensive and most clubs have to be pre-booked well in advance. I knew my career didn’t have much scope to increase earning potential whereas DH’s does, so it made sense to prioritise his.

You can still keep your foot in the door career wise by going PT, or doing some contract/locum work when it suits you.

If you go FT I recommend being highly organised and checking in with yourself and family regularly that it’s working.

@MyShoelaceIsUndone

Get a job that’s term time only

Yeah like it's that easy

You are looking at low wage jobs now OP, but if you can work hard and make the most of every opportunity, maybe there will possibilities for promotions, training and increased experience to help your earnings rise. You could be looking back in 5 years time finding that the childcare costs are a much lower proportion of your earnings and it's really paying off. Remember for most women there are a good 20-25 years left working when children are 18+/left home, so it's really worth having a career.

This. It is short term pain for long term gain. And childcare is a family cost, not just the mothers. Don't just think about it coming out of your wage.

I was born in the early 1970s and my parents worked full-time. There were no after-school clubs or breakfast clubs then. A neighbour looked after us when my mum was at work until I was old enough to look after myself and my siblings . I was about 10 then.

No family support here unfortunately so we use after a variety of school clubs provided by the school and luckily I can WFH some afternoons and fit in the school run. It’s not easy and I naively thought we’d save a fortune when the youngest started school. However our money just gets spent on school clubs instead of nursery fees!

Some after school clubs will accept childcare vouchers so check if yours do.

I start at 9 so do school drop off, when in office I dropped at breakfast club at 8:20.

Dh works 7-3 (already wfh pre covid so will be wfh once we are back to normal) so does pick up. In non covid times we used after school club as dh sometimes has calls etc that run over so although ds mostly only spent 10 mins in ASC we needed the flexibility. We will start with ASC in September. I will be going to hybrid working 2 days in the office, I will ask to work 9:30 -5:30 so we just need ASC.

For holidays we have 10 weeks hols in total (5 each) we overlap a week to have a family holiday so 9 weeks are covered, my parents have pre covid helped out a couple of days a week in the hols, we would have had to use 4 weeks of holiday club to make up the difference.

I’ve always worked and managed to raise 3 kids with no family help. Nurseries, wrap around clubs (and holiday clubs) / childminders. It doesn’t last forever, mine are 13 & 17 now

We have no family around, and to be honest, even if we did, I don't think this is something that should be relied on for regular childcare or assumed that family want this responsibility.

I set up as self employed and worked term time, around the family. Money was very tight but it kept my work reputation in tact, and I got to spend time with my DC.

Have now retrained and work in a school. 3/4 of my DC come with me. (DC1 has SN so goes to different specialist school).

I felt that it was more important that I was there for them and they had time with me while they were younger.

As they grow up, they do cost more and need more emotional support, so being in the same establishment/around during the holidays means that I can be there as much as possible.

A nanny could be an idea for you.

Whatever you do, invest in your childcare to make sure that your child is well taken care of of and loved. I have seen some families treat the caregivers appallingly, and whilst they have never taken this out on the child, it is hard for them to be loyal when compared to families who value this position and the contribution the caregivers make to the family

@Darbs76

I’ve always worked and managed to raise 3 kids with no family help. Nurseries, wrap around clubs (and holiday clubs) / childminders. It doesn’t last forever, mine are 13 & 17 now

Exactly. I'm the same, with 3. It's really tough when they are little, and it eats into everything you earn. However, there's a ridiculous amount of drama on this thread (and on MN generally) about childcare.

That's what you have to do - pay for childcare - if you want to work FT. It's costly, it's challenging to get something that works, but that's what it is.

I'm coming close to the end of needing childcare (youngest is 10) and it's becoming so much easier.

I worked 3 days pw when my DD was at nursery and then increased to 4 days when she started school. Now work full time and I do find it hard. My employer is really flexible though so provided you work your weekly hours you can fit it around family i.e. early/late starts and finishes. Grandparents do 2 pick ups a week and DD goes to after school club 2 days a week, we'll probably increase that to 3.

OP, don’t know if you read my post, but there are plenty of shift hospital jobs where you can work evenings and the pay is enhanced so it’s worth it. I worked 5-11pm 3 nights a week when kids were little and used to earn about 1200 a month. Dh would get home from work 4pm, we’d have tea and then I’d leave.
There are lab jobs, cleaning technician jobs, Porter, admin .. quite a few where you don’t need a specific undergrad degree, you just have to search on the nhs site. Obviously, a degree will help, but not always necessary. It is possible to not pay childcare, avoid the wraparound headache and work too, if you’re willing to sacrifice your evenings for a couple of days a week.

I negotiated with both employers I've has whilst being a parent. Rather than working the contracted 9-5, I work 9.15-4.45 with a half hour lunch rather than an hour. That means I can drop the kids at school in the morning so no breakfast club, and then they go to afterschool club until I collect them at 5.15ish. It does actually help that I don't drive as I made sure my home, work & school are all within walking distance of each other so there are no issues with traffic or being late etc.

Options:
You have to work shorter days, negotiated with your employer - eg I worked 9-3 when my dc went to school until they were about 10.
Work part time.
After school clubs and wrap around care.
Child minder
Relatives.

You say you work 2 days now OP, why the change now? I totally get you want to have more cash to give your dc a better life, but at this stage, he is very small, maybe really think about the practicalities of doing all that now.

When your DC start school for the first time you realise how lucky you were with nurseries being longer hours, and it’s tough. It’s harder for them too as initially they are tired and need longer in bed/more downtime ( in my experience anyway)

If full time, how will you deal with illness? Child being sent home sick ( happens quite a lot in early years)? Inset day? School holidays?

Wrap around care or after school clubs won’t fit with your planned ft hours which seem very long anyway - do these include travel?

I’d really think and discuss with your partner the reality of what you can do and what you can afford along with the emotional needs of everyone.

Whatever you do, invest in your childcare to make sure that your child is well taken care of of and loved

This is so important. When my DC went to wraparound care I used to ask them what they’d done. It was always the same: crafts and ham sandwiches for their evening meal. Also one of mine refused to eat school breakfasts so I had to get up even earlier to ensure they had a bowl of cereal before leaving which kind of defied the point. They also got mixed with juniors and didn’t have any of their classmates with them so I felt awful over that.

With nurseries my DC were FT for a while but I vetted 3 nurseries before choosing one and pulled them out of one because I didn’t like the attitude of the staff. At the time I needed the childcare to work FT but it was a constant worry; were they were being treated with love and kindness?

Childminders are very hard to source here and often have a lot of kids to look after, so I’ve never tried that.

If your salary only just covers childcare costs is it worth going FT at the moment? Have you looked into part time or wfh jobs or hybrid working, or compressed hours?

When your DC start school for the first time you realise how lucky you were with nurseries being longer hours, and it’s tough. It’s harder for them too as initially they are tired and need longer in bed/more downtime ( in my experience anyway). If full time, how will you deal with illness? Child being sent home sick ( happens quite a lot in early years)? Inset day? School holidays?

All of this!

Nursery was so easy compared to school. Open 7am-7pm and they had constant fun activities, compared to after school club which seemed more like a holding pen.

I had a shock when I realised how many half terms, holidays and inset days I had to take AL or find childcare for, as nursery didn’t have terms. Once they start school I think kids get more aware that some kids leave at 3pm to go home and a few don’t, whereas nursery parents pick up at all sorts of hours so other kids don’t really notice.

I nearly lost my first FT job over sick leave when DD was little, as she picked up every bug (requiring me to take parental or annual leave short notice) then she gave most bugs to me so I’d be off sick. It triggered the absence policies and I was on formal monitoring for a while! I understand employers shouldn’t have to put up with staff leaving unexpectedly every other week and getting ill constantly but it’s very hard.

I’m also aware there’s a possibility of further school closures if another lockdown happens, and while my DC had keyworker places during the last one, the wraparound care closed! They didn’t refund it either, so I had to take a chunk of unpaid leave as my hours were 8am-4pm.