'Friend' not talking to me over a birthday card, who is being unreasonable?

[Henni19]

Friend of 20 years has stopped talking to me, the reason being I posted a birthday card for her child's 1st bday and didn't write the child's surname on it. I just put the first name and the address.
She apparently found this really offensive to her partner.
What I find offensive is that my young dc haven't received cards from her for about 3 years when they were babies.
I've always let it go but am pretty shocked that she's slating me to others over this and i feel like it's very petty.
AIBU to have sent the card without the surname? In all seriousness I was in a rush as was heading out the door to go on holiday and didn't want to misspell it!

She isn't worth the time.

I'd message her and say "At least I sent your child a card. Unlike you. Please don't expect a card next year"

Or just "fuck you"

Drop her, permanently. I had a "friend" of almost 40 years hiss at me on the phone for an hour because I posted her birthday card to her, rather than put it through her letterbox in person. I haven't missed her.

Ah well, at least you know she isn't worth the price of a stamp now. I'd move on to better friends.

She doesn’t sound like much of a friend, think that 20 years is coming to an end!

Unless there’s a massive piece of information missing I don’t see why leaving off a surname is offensive.

I’d drop her and block her.

I am sure that the baby in question was not bothered one iota about the whole event.

This woman and @HaroldMeeker ‘s ex ‘friend’ sound like they’re teens. My dd is 13. She’s having awful issues with pettiness and nastiness from girls and doesn’t know how to stick up for herself unfortunately. Consequently she is being singled out and being pushed to apologise. It’s an absolute standard as they say all manner of crap to her. I keep telling her to stick up for herself and if she (finally) says something back or tells them to eff off, I will support her.

Some people never grow up. You have the right idea. Ignore ignore and back away.

Christ you are better off without such a narcissistic CF as a friend.

If I have a lot of birthdays in a given month I will often write out the cards in advance and just write the name on the front so I know which is which. If I then can't get to see the recipient in person then I will add the address and drop it in the post. I have sent out countless birthday cards without surnames because I have forgotten to add them to the name line, none of my friends have stopped talking to me yet so it seems they're a bit more forgiving!

I'd send her a message directly ^"I hear you have taken issue about the fact I didn't put your child's surname on their birthday card. Considering that you have never even sent my children birthday cards I think it is the height of bad manners to be so rude about such a minor oversight and I have no interest in remaining friends with someone who would be so petty and rude. Don't contact me again"

Block

Your friend is a total twat. Good riddance.

You mentioned her partner, rather than her husband. In that case, it’s perfectly reasonable that you’re not sure what surname the child actually has - and in that situation, it’s surely better to use just the first name than to use the wrong surname?

Embrace the peace.

I honestly cannot understand why people have idiots like this in their lives.

Genuinely have never come across it.

Embrace the lightness and let her go.

You share 20 years of history, but certainly not friendship.

Real friends do not behave like this.

Raise your bar.

If this is true why are you wasting headspace on such petty drama? Move on. Life’s too short

"Very odd reason to lose one of your longest standing friends but hey!"

'Longest standing'.

Sometimes we are unwilling to accept that a friendship is over, especially if there are mutual friends that are ACTUAL friends and not just - well, frankly - a habit. A habit that needs to be kicked.

what took you so long?

How odd of her

How you resisted replying "well you never write DCs last name on their birthday cards!" Is beyond me.

I'd also start addressing her and everyone around her by their full name.

It's probably not the missing surname that's offended her, it will be the £50 gift card that you forgot to put in the card for her PFB.

Ive often done this just forgotten its still adressed to the person with their first name its not an insult in any form

Yes how would you know which surname the child use -least with adults you can check on Facebook to see if people have changed surname on marriage.

is was ...

LILIBET.... wasn't it 🤣

YANBU. She sounds like a dick!