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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 'put them down drowsy but awake' is a lie

90 replies

georgarina · 20/08/2021 13:21

Has any baby ever done this??

Also feed, play, sleep.

Mine just don't sleep unless held or fed. As little babies anyway.

OP posts:
Fernando072020 · 20/08/2021 13:22

Every baby is different but this never works for mine
As soon as he realises he's being put down, he screams so we don't do it. It just distressed him.

Jubaju · 20/08/2021 13:23

Each baby is different. It seems to work with my baby, so it’s not a lie 🤷🏼‍♀️

superhappymagicforest · 20/08/2021 13:25

Total lie as is feed play sleep! It’s totally normal for them to want to be held.

Toomuchspinning · 20/08/2021 13:26

Worked for mine. Just because it’s not true for yours doesn’t make it untrue for all babies.

IridescentPurple · 20/08/2021 13:26

My two slept when I put them down, even from awake sometimes.

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/08/2021 13:26

It might work for some people but it’s largely bullshit.

Who wants to play before sleeping? I like to lie down and be cosy, have a hug with my husband, have a quiet chat, maybe read. I don’t expect DD to behave completely differently.

It makes far more sense to play then feed then sleep, especially if the baby is breastfeeding. Warm milk in your tummy and a cuddle is far more likely to send you off quickly and peacefully. Can you imagine cave women feeding their infants then playing with them or trying to put them down awake? Babies are as they ever were. They want closeness, comfort and security.

Buttercupmoon · 20/08/2021 13:27

My son wouldnt be put down unless rocked or fed to sleep. But when he was about 6 months old I decided to put him down sleepy but awake. He was really tired, cries for 3 mins and conked out. Since putting him down sleepy but awake he has slept through the night. We go through periods where he needs me to sing to him, rub his back, shh pat him, but I always make sure he goes to sleep in his cot and not on me anymore as he sleeps better this way.

NeverSurrender · 20/08/2021 13:28

My first did not at all, but my second did put in his cot after bath, feed and cuddle. He would babble for a bit then go to sleep. As an older children he is a nightmare at bed time though!

QueenHofScotland · 20/08/2021 13:28

If worked with DD2 but not so much with DD1. I basically fed them both to sleep for naps and bedtime. DD2 was a little more tolerant of being put in her cot / basket sleepy and would also lie in her pram etc awake. DD1 didn’t!

Justgettingbye · 20/08/2021 13:29

It worked for mine. I always put them down drowsy/awake in their cots if we were home

Cuddlyrottweiler · 20/08/2021 13:30

Sometimes it works for mine sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes he'll look at me and just close his eyes, sometimes he'll just lay there awake for a bit, sometimes he'll act like I just threw him off the edge of a cliff and start screaming. The feed play sleep thing is utter bull though, he just ends up awake and over tired and angry.

Canigooutyet · 20/08/2021 13:31

Eat, plat, sleep?

Mine would have still been too 'hyper ' from the play bit to fall asleep. Mine needed relaxing things to help them to go sleep. They would have just carried on playing when I walked out of the room

Mybalconyiscracking · 20/08/2021 13:31

Mine were both fine , depends on the child.

shineysides · 20/08/2021 13:32

Worked for both of mine. Play before sleep doesn't mean that you put them directly in their bed straight from playing. Mine would have a good kick about and then we'd have a cuddle or read a story when they were a bit bigger and once quiet and settled, maybe a bit drowsy, they'd get put down for a nap/bedtime.

ParadiseLaundry · 20/08/2021 13:32

I'm sure there are babies that it works for, but I always think about women whose babies it doesn't work for but have been told by HV, parents, SM etc that they MUST put them down drowsy but awake and implement a eat, play, sleep routine or they are setting their babies up for failure by giving them sleep associations.

There was a HV where I live pushing the drowsy but awake system and telling parents that if their baby was in too much of a deep sleep when they put them down to tickle their arm to make sure they were awake enough to know they were being put down Angry I fucking wish I was joking.

It is biologically normal and appropriate for babies to want to be fed to sleep.

Bunnycat101 · 20/08/2021 13:33

I thought it was bollocks with my first. With my second I tried it more seriously and it was like magic. If I got the timings right my daughter would just sleep. No rocking, no faffing etc. But she was very rigid in other ways. She needed a darkened room by 7 from about 6 weeks for sleep or all hell would break loose. Miss her sleep windows and she’d cry blue murder for hours. Get it right and she looked like the easiest baby in the world.

Newmummy9 · 20/08/2021 13:33

Works well for mine. He feeds when he wakes, happily bounces in his chair and then when he’s sleepy I put him in his sleeping bag in his cot in a dark room and he goes to sleep usually instantly, sometimes before I’ve left the room. I’ve tried to do this right from the start so I think he associates his cot and the dark with bedtime. Likewise with my other two.
They’re all different though, just do what works for you and you enjoy doing.

Whogotdakeystomabeamer · 20/08/2021 13:34

How old is your dc?

ParadiseLaundry · 20/08/2021 13:34

'Who wants to play before sleeping? I like to lie down and be cosy, have a hug with my husband, have a quiet chat, maybe read. I don’t expect DD to behave completely differently. '

Exactly, it's like eating a massive Sunday dinner, then going for a run then coming back in and going straight to bed! Insanity.

Sexnotgender · 20/08/2021 13:34

Is currently working for mine. Pop her in her cot, she chatters and babbles for 3-10 minutes and goes to sleep.

bonbonours · 20/08/2021 13:35

Definitely not when they are tiny. All of mine fed to sleep every single time, the only other way they would go to sleep was in the car.

sbhydrogen · 20/08/2021 13:37

I managed to make it work once last year in May. That was before sleep training 😃

DoubleHelix79 · 20/08/2021 13:37

First DC would just shout at us until she was picked up again - no chance of it working. Second one is more chilled and it does often work.

ForeverSinging · 20/08/2021 13:41

Ds was a dream baby and would go to sleep when put in cot awake from being really young. Dd wasn't as easy but she had reflux when tiny so needed to be held more. Still slept through well when we got that under control though.

MNmonster · 20/08/2021 13:41

Didn't work for my first. His routine was feed, scream for three hours, eventually relent and sleep for 30 minutes but only while being held or in the car seat, scream, feed, scream, 30 minute sleep and repeat until 10pm when he would pass out for the night. Wake up at 6am and repeat.

My youngest didnt really either. He needed a dummy, a swaddle and white noise to sleep.

I also hated the advice to keep your baby in in same room as you and get them used to sleeping with daytime, background noise. Who is bloody going to sleep well in a sunny room with a toddler wailing?!