To think 'put them down drowsy but awake' is a lie

[georgarina]

Has any baby ever done this??

Also feed, play, sleep.

Mine just don't sleep unless held or fed. As little babies anyway.

Our DS does this. He self soothes and is easy to get to sleep. He's four months next week and now sleeps from 10pm to between 7am-8am.

Great advice in theory, but the fact it's often delivered with undertones of 'you are failing if your baby won't do this' is very unhelpful. This did not work with DS and all the tutting that he will never learn to sleep by himself is the last thing an overtired mother needs to hear. We were all much more happy and well rested when I gave up trying.

Ds1 not at all, fed to sleep until 18m.
Ds2 did it from birth. He's 1.5 now and at 18.30 stands at the stairs with his dummy and comforter waiting to get up to bed. But he's also the most stubborn child in the world who's entire goal is to make a mess. Sleeping is just one part of it all!

Babies are different people just like we are. My eldest I always put her in her cot after her last bottle and cuddles, still awake but sleepy, talked to her very quietly and briefly and put her music on, out like a light.

My youngest didn’t sleep through the night at all until he was 7. Years old not months. But he has SN which makes a difference I suppose. Every night is a battle in some way or other and he needs/needed constant company.

@Buttercupmoon

My son wouldnt be put down unless rocked or fed to sleep. But when he was about 6 months old I decided to put him down sleepy but awake. He was really tired, cries for 3 mins and conked out. Since putting him down sleepy but awake he has slept through the night. We go through periods where he needs me to sing to him, rub his back, shh pat him, but I always make sure he goes to sleep in his cot and not on me anymore as he sleeps better this way.

I think this is a better example of what parents should aim for. Really little babies, in the first three months, are trickier all round. But after that they start to be more regular and develop habits, and it becomes possible in many cases to get them used to going to sleep after being put down drowsy. And conversely, if they keep being put to bed asleep, they come to expect that and may want someone to resettle them whenever they wake up a bit. Which sucks.

Whether it's eat, play sleep, or play eat sleep, or something else, really depends on the child.

It can involve some crying though and that puts off parents who have been told that any crying will cause emotional problems for their baby. But a lot of babies will cry for a quite short time if they are fairly young (I would say 4 to 8 months, roughly) and really drowsy. After 8 months changing a habit seems to be a lot more difficult.

One of mine did one didn't. Geniually think it's pot luck

Eat, play (think it’s actually activity and can include baths, nappy change, wind down etc) sleep doesn’t mean you can’t have any wind down to sleep. It means don’t feed them to sleep on every occasion. Personally I thought it worked better than always having to feed to get them to sleep. Sometimes they went off more easily than others, sometimes had to put a bit of effort in to get them to sleep, second and third had a dummy- so much easier, just drifted off sucking the dummy.

Did it with both of mine and it worked well. In my day, it was called EASY (eat, activity, sleep, you time). DD1 was exclusively breast fed, DD2 was a mix of bottle and breast.

Both were great sleepers, sleeping 12-6 by six weeks and completely sleeping through the night at 12 weeks.

I really liked the structure it gave us, but appreciate it doesn't work for everyone.

Worked for my son

DS1 yes it did work. He was the baby that all the books were wrote about. He transitioned to his cot beautifully and we always put him down awake and he got himself to sleep with no crying or fuss.

DS2, no chance. I spend most of my life rocking him to sleep. He screams blue murder if I put him down awake.

So, all babies are different. It clearly does work for some though.

I call it the parental stat: if it works anecdotally for 5% or less of the population or only works anecdotally 5% or less of the number of times tried then it is the right thing to do and it doesn't work for most of the population, all the time, because they are doing it wrong.

I have three. The first two there was no way you could put them down drowsy! They slept best cosleeping really. Third one we put down awake and she goes to sleep for the night. We were stunned! If she cosleeps it goes badly.

My youngest would have done but then the reflux would cause her to be sick so we ended up having to hold her for at least half an hour and by then she'd be asleep.

Nope never. My children have always been terrible sleepers.

I read a good baby sleep book when I was pregnant with my second (free on a magazine!) that suggested that babies have a natural cycle where they tend to naturally be sleepy in the day and to use this time to teach them to go to sleep alone. So with my second I found she always had a long nap at about 10am. I would breast feed her swaddled but when she finished made sure she was aware of going in her moses basket. Over time she would settle herself when I put her down for her morning nap (and other naps, bedtime). Did the same with her two sisters.

The babies at nursery also are capable of being put down awake and settling themselves once they get into a routine. I think it's adult expectation that's key and not to be scared of them being a little whingy when they are first put down awake.