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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for help with salary

27 replies

Jellojelly · 20/08/2021 11:38

Hello, I’m not sure what to do - I would appreciate any advice - posting for traffic

It has been recognised that my pay is well below market rate and has been for some time so it has been increased.

I asked for it to be back dated a few months but as the increase is large our area manager (it was talked about further up) said no. I said ok as I got something

I said I have a job offer but it would require relocation and they know it is unlikely I will move (mainly due to family responsibilities they are aware of)

I have been asked if the raise is enough to make me stay. I want to ask again for the back dating but can I when they know I won’t really leave? Will they say ok fine, hand in your notice?

I don’t want to burn my bridges and go to far and have no job

What do you think?

OP posts:
Shirleyphallus · 20/08/2021 11:40

Your employer cannot force you to hand in your notice.

I’d set out terms that you’re requesting - ie backdate the pay. If they refuse then you don’t actually have to do anything - you can keep looking for another job without handing in your notice.

HilaryBriss · 20/08/2021 11:44

How many months back are you asking for it to be backdated? They do have the upper hand really, knowing that you won't leave.

Personally I would be happy that I got a substantial pay rise and leave it at that.

Jellojelly · 20/08/2021 11:51

@HilaryBriss - I asked for 3 months

OP posts:
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 20/08/2021 11:53

Don't let them think you won't really leave!

Jellojelly · 20/08/2021 11:59

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop - I know! I think it’s just unlikely as I finally have my childcare with my ex arranged after many issues.

OP posts:
IveNameChangedAgain2020 · 20/08/2021 12:12

I wouldn't have let them know you wouldn't leave. I think you can clearly state what you want and leave the ball in their court. You can always carry on looking!

Wester · 20/08/2021 12:13

Instead of asking for them to back date your pay ( which might be difficult to implement or lead to additional NI or pension contributions) why don't you ask for a one of payment? Sort of like a bonus?

yourestandingonmyneck · 20/08/2021 12:13

What industry is your job and what is your salary going from and to?

Jellojelly · 20/08/2021 15:00

@IveNameChangedAgain2020 - I haven’t told them, I just worry they think I won’t so it’s not a true challenge

@Wester - I thought that meant they pay me the difference for the last 3 months as a one off - is that not the same thing?

@yourestandingonmyneck - increase of 20%, this will take me into the 40% tax bracket

OP posts:
Wester · 20/08/2021 15:20

[quote Jellojelly]@IveNameChangedAgain2020 - I haven’t told them, I just worry they think I won’t so it’s not a true challenge

@Wester - I thought that meant they pay me the difference for the last 3 months as a one off - is that not the same thing?

@yourestandingonmyneck - increase of 20%, this will take me into the 40% tax bracket[/quote]
If you ask for pay to be back dated they retrospectively apply the payrise to reflect your updated salary. If it is a small company they might not be able to do this, and will mean they have to recalculate your NI contributions and pension contributions (the part your employer pays).

As I said it might be easier to ask for a lump sum/bonus as it can be paid with you next salary and has less knock on effects for their payroll team.

I'd ask for £xx amount as compensation as a lump sum. (Calculate how much you think 3 months salary uplift will be)

yourestandingonmyneck · 20/08/2021 15:32

[quote Jellojelly]@IveNameChangedAgain2020 - I haven’t told them, I just worry they think I won’t so it’s not a true challenge

@Wester - I thought that meant they pay me the difference for the last 3 months as a one off - is that not the same thing?

@yourestandingonmyneck - increase of 20%, this will take me into the 40% tax bracket[/quote]
So it is a fairly decent jump then.

How big is the company? If it's a small company, they might feel the effect of backdating it.

If it's a large company, not so much, and I'd maybe be inclined to push for it.

Newestname001 · 20/08/2021 15:35

As I said it might be easier to ask for a lump sum/bonus as it can be paid with you next salary and has less knock on effects for their payroll team.

Or maybe see if the entire amount lump sum/bonus can be paid as an hoc payment into your pension scheme?

Are there any other benefits they could fund instead? One job I went into couldn't match my already generous salary but gave me a monthly car allowance instead - which I then paid into their pension scheme rather than taking it in cash.

And no, don't weaken your bargaining position by letting them think you won't leave for a better deal. 🌹

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 20/08/2021 15:39

They have agreed to a pay rise but you want them to backdate it too?

Sorry, but I think you're being really cheeky.

Why didn't you ask for a pay rise three months ago?

HalfShrunkMoreToGo · 20/08/2021 15:41

Similar line of thinking to @Newestname001 but is there any training or qualification that fits well with your job role, would benefit you and the company and that you want to do? They might be willing to fund that.

GroggyLegs · 20/08/2021 15:49

I'd recommend that you tell your company you need all the facts to make an informed decision on whether to take the new job, so could they please confirm if they will they pay the lump sum or not?

That way you're not confirming anything, but making it clear that it will be a factor in your decision.

I did this recently & it at least forced the matter to a head, even though it wasn't the outcome I wanted. I did get promoted about 3 months later though, them knowing I was considering other offers might have been a factor, who knows?

raeya · 20/08/2021 15:51

I actually felt like this was my post!!!
Through a company thing to level all positions i found out I was underpaid by thousands compared to others and I had more responsibility!!
Think company thought I'd be over the moon with the pay rise and I was on the initial meeting but then I went home and thought hang on a minute, I've been busting my gut (was actually doing 2 people's work for 6 months) for much less than others so asked for it to be backdated . They refused. I got offered another job. We discussed. Not backdated by agreed £500more salary. A token!

QueenHofScotland · 20/08/2021 15:53

I’m on the fence here.

You didn’t have to stay when you weren’t being paid enough - company’s can pay what they want but if they don’t pay enough they need to recognise they would retain staff it get staff with the correct skill set / qualifications etc.

On the other hand, you remained with them despite being paid enough. That could be viewed as being loyal. Had you left before they would have had all the costs associated with recruitment.

Do you feel valued? Are you good at your job? Do you think your employer thinks you are good at your job? Could they replace you easily? Are you now being paid what you should be paid?

MyAnacondaMight · 20/08/2021 15:53

I think it’s a mistake to fixate on the backdating - instead you have an opportunity to negotiate better pay in perpetuity.

Say you earnt c.£42k and now earn c.£50k. 3 months backdated is £2k, and costs them in fees to rerun payrolls and calculations etc - this could be a real pain for them if it crosses a financial year.

Instead bluff them and say that your job offer is for c.£55k (or whatever feels achievable), and that if they can match that you will off course be able to decline the other offer. It doesn’t commit you to resigning - just implies that you’re thinking about it - and some more $$$ will allow you to stop thinking about it.

This way you’d get the extra £5k every year, rather than an extra £2k as a one off. They have said that they’re open to the prospect of paying you more money to keep you - don’t waste the opportunity to get it.

TwoLeftElbows · 20/08/2021 15:53

I think it's not so much that they know about your family circumstances, but that it would be disproportionate to leave because they won't pay you something "historical". It's not like a new employer would be giving you backdated pay either. An alternative offer which pays you more every month going forward is a credible reason for you to move, irrespective of family situation. A fit of pique that they are not backdating your pay increase isn't IMO. Of course you are within your rights to ask, and women should ask more and push more on salary. But I think this is the wrong hill to die on.

Also there is absolutely no shame in negotiating hard and, if it doesn't go your way, accepting it and staying. The trick of using another offer to negotiate for more pay is one you can only really pull once anyway. You won't look stupid, you'll look like someone who successfully negotiated a pay rise. There is no obligation on you to follow through on the threat, and you need to look after number one. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.

QueenHofScotland · 20/08/2021 15:53

So many typos sorry!

  • they wouldn’t retain staff or get staff with…
HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 20/08/2021 15:54

I agree with some others that backdating is an odd request and depending on how they do payroll, could be a real pain in the arse. I would just answer their question - are you happy with your new salary or not?

lanthanum · 20/08/2021 16:58

If they give you three months back-pay, you might take it and then leave anyway - they have no guarantee that it will achieve the aim of keeping you. Whereas if you ask for a raise, you will only benefit from it if you stay, so it's a better investment for them.

India92 · 20/08/2021 17:02

If you make threats to leave over a new job offer, you have to be prepared to carry through or you'll look like a dickhead and they won't take you seriously in the future.

If you are still not happy with your salary, ask them to increase it further based on your new offer. Don't ask for backdated pay, that is really weird and cheeky IMO.

tootiredtobother · 20/08/2021 17:04

this scenario has happened to my daughter (council job) They have knowingly been underpaying you ? you have a pay discrimination case on your hands, you could make life difficult for them, let that come out via the office gossip, and see what happens but generally If you dont ask you dont get, they rely on women not asking for market rate and not kicking up a stink

Jellojelly · 20/08/2021 18:25

Thanks for your advice

It’s a big company, international. I’ve been there for 5 years

I should have asked for a rise a long time ago and it’s embarrassing that I didn’t - I’ve been told the business was struggling and no raises were possible.

I dated someone and found out that payrises have regularly been given across the business but also my pay is really low even vs. Junior colleagues. I asked my manager about it, she was very uncomfortable and said something would be done.

@TwoLeftElbows - I don’t want to cut my nose off to spite my face. I am pleased I got a rise but @raeya I feel you! I feel mugged off over how hard I worked. It’s my fault but I feel gutted for believing them

OP posts:
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