Just wondering if I’m the only one suffering with mum guilt to the point where it seems to be really taking a toll on my mental health.
I’m a civil servant who works full time usually and was granted part year leave to have 5 weeks off over the summer with DS who is 5 - this is the first time I have had this much time with him on my own since maternity leave. I don’t drive and partner has only managed to get 1 day off work to be with us where we went for a big walk with our puppy and for food after.
I have planned a few things like soft play, getting the train into town for a meal and a wander, had his friend over to play one day, went out with our friends to the farm, but lots and lots of trips to the local park and home for playing with toys or watching a film and what DS would deem a ‘boring’ day. I don’t have much expendable income and feel weve never struggled financially as much as now and I’m pretty much putting anything I need to on a credit card until payday. I see other people going to the zoo and for breaks away and we just can’t do it right now.
DS has been really hard work in terms of not listening and completely ignoring me or arguing back over everything. He’s always like that to an extent but I guess it’s really ramped up not being in school and I’ve felt like I’ve spent every day being ignored and stressed and repeating myself over and over gradually losing more and more patience.
I had a panic attack yesterday morning and I just feel so drained and on the brink of tears with a stress headache and a tight chest. Was supposed to be going to my friends wedding tonight but I have said I can’t go and been completely honest about why. I don’t even have the energy to get ready for it.
I suffer with mild anxiety usually but it doesn’t normally affect me too much. Are summer holidays this stressful for anyone else? Feeling pretty shitty! There are work related and relationship related stresses too I suppose but they are very much not at the forefront of my mind atm.