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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have a quiet scream at this (covid related)?

36 replies

YourUsernameHistoryHere · 19/08/2021 13:19

I’m pregnant, on a FB group with lots of other pregnant women.

One has been very vocal throughout about not getting vaccinated, not sure why she should trust it, she’d wait, her husband would wait (why??), on and on. Lots of people replied with links to research, suggested she speak to her midwife, explained why they’d chosen to have it. She spoke to the MW twice but was still undecided, the posts kept coming.

You can guess what happened next. They both, and their kid, got covid. Endless posts about how awful it was, breathing difficulties visits to A&E, rah rah rah. Lots of sympathetic replies and advice.

And today she’s popped up again - apparently you have antibodies after having covid, so maybe she shouldn’t bother with the vaccine now? Cue a dozen measured replies from people with links etc etc.

Just - aaargh. What is the thought process here? How can you literally have covid, apparently not mildly, and still think, nah, vaccine’s not for me mate. Presumably if she does eventually get the vaccine we’ll have a post about how sore her arm is or whatever other fuckwittery. Argh.

I can’t reply on there to say she’d have potentially not had it or had it as severely if she had chosen to be vaccinated in the first place because that’s not warm n fuzzy, so I’ll say it here.

OP posts:

Fireplace12 · 19/08/2021 13:20

It baffles me. Three friends of mine refused the vaccine. All three got COVID recently. One extremely poorly. All still refusing it.

DrWhoNowww · 19/08/2021 13:27

You can’t argue with idiots, they pull you down to their level and beat you with experience.

It’s literally not worth the energy.

I’d just hide her so I didn’t have to read the batshittery.

catndogslife · 19/08/2021 13:34

YANBU
I would hide her posts on FB, if it's getting to you OP. You just can't win with some people.
You are not supposed to visit A & E with COVID symptoms. What about other vulnerable people there?

Scautish · 19/08/2021 13:43

You can explain it to her, but you can’t understand it for her. She’s thick, just leave it now.

Sexnotgender · 19/08/2021 13:46

Doesn’t matter what you post, particularly as a pregnant woman.

A woman I’m friends with posted that she’d had her vaccine, she’s very, very pregnant. Someone commented underneath that they couldn’t believe she’d had it whilst pregnant 🙄

cookiemon666 · 19/08/2021 13:50

And in complete contrast, my 16 year old had her COVID jab yesterday as I'm CEV and she is starting college. Didn't bat an eyelid

Moonface123 · 19/08/2021 13:54

Oh the smugness on here reaks.
It's all down to individual choice, not what you think is best.

HeyDugeesCakeBadge · 19/08/2021 13:56

The thing is, she's right in the fact that if she's had covid she probably has anti bodies and doesn't need the jab for now. Also, she may have been poorly but she didn't die which may add to the not wanting the vaccine as her immune system did its job. I don't know, freedom of choice and all that but why people feel the need to talk about their vaccine status all the time baffles me - just ignore her OP.

Treezan82 · 19/08/2021 13:56

YANBU. The worst one for me is BIL. He is refusing to get vaccinated as it "wasn't that bad" when he had Covid.

Nevermind that he lives with MIL who was in ICU for weeks and she had it and very nearly didn't make it out alive. It took her 6 months to recover.

Yes she is fully vaccinated but it isn't 100%, I don't know how he can justify the risk of bringing it into the house again.

WiggIyWoo · 19/08/2021 13:57

@cookiemon666

And in complete contrast, my 16 year old had her COVID jab yesterday as I'm CEV and she is starting college. Didn't bat an eyelid

I genuinely don't see the relevance. Until recently, the advice for pregnant women was very very wishy washy so I can understand why you'd maybe just wait til the baby was out. It's completely different having it as a non-pregnant person. (I say this as someone fully vaxxed who had both jabs whilst exclusively breastfeeding so not anti vax by any means)

Original poster

YourUsernameHistoryHere · 19/08/2021 13:58

It's all down to individual choice, not what you think is best.

Yup. But some individuals are thickos and their stupidity impacts me, potentially my healthcare providers and the community I live in. And someone smart enough to wave stats around about natural immunity after a virus should on paper be smart enough to assess other freely available stats accordingly.

OP posts:

HeyDugeesCakeBadge · 19/08/2021 14:00

Come on OP, someone choosing differently to you doesn't make then thickos. That's an awful judgement to put on people making a decision on their healthcare.

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 19/08/2021 14:00

Could you suggest to the admins of the group that there are no covid posts? No politics?
They will always be divisive subjects and I'm in many facebook groups that have a no pandemic rule just to try to keep group harmony

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 19/08/2021 14:01

I had both of mine and I’m seven months pregnant now. I do understand other women’s resistance though.
When I was first pregnant, NHS advised against pregnant women getting any covid vaccines. It’s a fast turn around and I can see why that would make mothers to be hesitant.

Confiscatedpopit · 19/08/2021 14:04

Why do people need to discuss whether they’ve had it or not online anyway? Far too much over sharing online generally.

Tal45 · 19/08/2021 14:06

How long does immunity last from having covid compared to having the vaccine? I'm double jabbed so not anti vax but I was reading yesterday that there were concerns that vax immunity was starting to wane in Israel in those vaxed early on.

Original poster

YourUsernameHistoryHere · 19/08/2021 14:06

Come on OP, someone choosing differently to you doesn't make then thickos.

No, in general it doesn’t, you’re right. And for the most part (it doesn’t come across on this thread, I know) I don’t think twice about other people’s decisions. On this however I quietly maintain that two healthy 30-somethings choosing not to get vaccinated in circs that indicate they should (jobs with lots of contact, data around covid in the 3rd trimester etc) are acting quite dumb.

OP posts:

gwenneh · 19/08/2021 14:13

@Tal45

Detectable immunity* from covid-19 fades quite quickly. The half-life was about 73 days.

There are several large studies that confirm this, but here's one that's not behind a paywall for a medical journal.
www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2020.10.26.20219725v1.full

*No one is really sure about T-cell immunity, the studies all follow detectable antibodies. If anyone has a link to t-cell studies, I'd be interested in reading.

Greenrubber · 19/08/2021 14:14

Why would they bother getting the vaccine after contracting covid? There are a number of studies now that show lasting immunity to covid from the virus
Yet people are still told to get the vaccine why??

FOJN · 19/08/2021 14:20

I can understand your frustration with this person posting about having had covid and still not wanting the vaccine but the tone of superiority on this thread is distasteful.

I don't know the individual, perhaps they are not very clever, although it sounds more attention seeking than anything else, but the using insults to shame people into making the same choices as you makes me wonder how confident you are about your choices.

I completely understand arguements that the choices we make around covid don't just affect us but I still believe in an individual's right to decide for themselves no matter how flawed their logic.

FWIW I took the earliest opportunity to get vaccinated. I made the decision with the full knowledge that the long term effects of the vaccination were not known, how could they be, but given my age and general health I preferred to take my chances with the vaccine rather than covid.

TheKeatingFive · 19/08/2021 14:24

Detectable immunity from covid-19 fades quite quickly. The half-life was about 73 days.*

Detectable immunity is only one piece of the puzzle.

Actually, confirmed reinfections among those who have had covid are still pretty rare. Much, much rarer than vaccine breakthrough infections.

Perhaps she's got a point. And I say that as someone who's very pro vaccination.

OP, regardless of anything, there's no point in getting involved in her decisions about what she does with her body. Just ignore.

MindyStClaire · 19/08/2021 14:30

Those birth groups can be amazing and maddening. I'm in one of each.

FakingMemories · 19/08/2021 15:06

Her choice.

Bombarding her with links is not going to achieve anything except more frustration on your part. Let it go. Find a better use for your time. It’s really not healthy to be this obsessed with a total stranger’s choices regarding their body,

TinaYouFatLard · 19/08/2021 15:41

It’s absolutely none of your damn business what another woman puts in her and her unborn baby’s body.

gwenneh · 19/08/2021 15:41

@TheKeatingFive

Detectable immunity from covid-19 fades quite quickly. The half-life was about 73 days.*

Detectable immunity is only one piece of the puzzle.

Actually, confirmed reinfections among those who have had covid are still pretty rare. Much, much rarer than vaccine breakthrough infections.

Perhaps she's got a point. And I say that as someone who's very pro vaccination.

OP, regardless of anything, there's no point in getting involved in her decisions about what she does with her body. Just ignore.

Are they? The research I've read states that it's twice as likely to be reinfected as it is to have a breakthrough infection. www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/70/wr/mm7032e1.htm?s_cid=mm7032e1_w

Do you have a different source that I've missed?

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