I occasionally still wonder about this and why it happened to me.
Back in the late 1980s I worked with an older man although I was senior to him in our jobs. He was a quiet and unassuming man apart from his quickly and brightly coloured ties that he loved to wear.
He was also in possession of a very dry wit and working with him was an absolute pleasure. He was one of those lovely people that no one had a bad word to say about.
Due to his shyness he hadn’t really had a proper girlfriend or had been in many dates so it was lovely when he got married in his late 30s.
I knew his wife Julia quite well as her younger sister was a good friend of mine and both of them also worked in the same building.
Julia was a very nice looking lady but also very overweight. She had been married a long while to an abusive man who put her down at every opportunity but she had finally got a divorce.
She was quite similar to Richard in her personality and was quiet on the outside but very warm and funny when you got to know her.
Their office romance became a big deal where we all worked as it was a love story where we were all rooting for them to find their happy ever after with each other.
The 80s was such a feel good time for us where we worked that there wasn’t the bitchiness or rivalry that we often see today in the insecure world we now live in.
I digress.
After they got married (they were so sweet they didn’t live together before they got married) we heard little updates about their new home etc and general married life in which they were both deliriously happy.
After six months or so they got a couple of kittens. Julia also in her late 30’s has discovered that she was unable to have children so the kittens were a much loved addition to their home.
Julia would usually have lunch at work with the rest of us but Richard would like to pop home for lunch and check on the kittens. I can’t remember if he actually told me but I think he didn’t want to have lunch at work so as not to oblige Julia in having lunch with him and she could sit with her female colleagues and have a laugh etc.
We worked flexi hours so it was not uncommon to have extended lunch breaks of two hours if we had come in early.
One day I had gone out in my lunchtime and was driving. I saw Richard on my way back to work, I actually just saw a guy waiting to cross a road but recognised his tie and knew it was Richard.
We both saw each other at the same time and he started waving madly at me and I was able to stop further along and he caught me up and hopped in.
He was perfectly normal and we talked about the kittens and some work stuff.
I parked in the staff car park and we started to walk in.
Before we got to security he stopped and he said that he couldn’t go in.
He looked concerned and I thought he must be feeling unwell so I asked if he was ok and he just smiled.
I remember looking directly into his face, a face I had known for many years and although he was smiling I could sense a sadness.
He said, “Please tell Julia that I love her, that I love her very much”.
Then he walked away from me and I thought that’s strange where is he going but there were other people returning to work and I lost eye contact with him walking away and proceeded to enter security and continue to my office.
I think I thought he had gone to sit in the fresh air as he felt ill and I would see him back at work later on.
He didn’t return. He never returned. He had died of a heart attack in his home. Apparently he had got the cat doos out as if to feed them but had them died.
Therefore, he never left his home, I couldn’t have seen him and given him a lift.
I never saw Julia upon my return to work that afternoon as she worked in a different department but she had later on in the afternoon come to my department whilst I was elsewhere and had asked others where Richard was.
No one had said they didn’t think he had come back from lunch as it was a busy department and Julia was not worried about him not being there and assumed he was in a different part of the building.
I didn’t follow it up and thought he had just gone back home perhaps with a stomach upset and I would speak to him the next day. He hasn’t looked ill at all when I had seen him. Not had he said he was unwell.
If I had seen Julia I would have mentioned him going home as I thought he had done.
I went home and Julia had waited for him in her office as he usually met her there and they would go home together but of course he never came.
She checked with my department but anyone left there had not seen him and this was of course before mobile phones.
We were all a very sociable lot and it wasn’t u usual to go for a drink after work and perhaps that’s what Julia thought he had done and forgotten to tell her beforehand.
Apparently she went home and was not concerned and expected to see him later but sadly discovered him dead in their kitchen.
I was very upset to hear about him dying and the whole building was in shock as he wasn’t ill and seemed fit as a fiddle, even playing for the banks football team and participating in any physical charity events we held.
I had a hard time processing what had happened to me seeing him when I couldn’t possibly have done so. I didn’t tell anyone at the time what had happened we not even my own partner who was good friends with Richard.
I did carefully find out his time of death and it was stated that he died almost as soon as he got home. I could not have given him a lift two hours later.
Julia was off work for a very long time. At Richards funeral I told her that Richard loved her very much and that I felt was the right thing to do rather than cause more distress about him telling me this after he had died.