To have offered to babysit grandson?

[infusa]

My grandson is 8months, DS and his girlfriend live here with grandson. They care for him themselves though.

I've agreed to babysit for them on Saturday as they want to go on a date, my DP has said I shouldn't as they'll start taking advantage and I'm already going to have him 3 days a week soon.

AIBU to have said yes?

What do you think?

Your dh sounds like a dick unless you are doing to do a big drip feed about how they currently Gayle advantage of you in other ways?

If they haven't had asked you to babysit in 8 months and have planned one solitary date on that time I feel it is a bit of a leap by your husband there...

Take not Gayle

I’m guessing your DP isn’t your sons father. Yes, of course you should help if you are happy to (not being pressured into it by your son). I’m sure your 3 days will be whilst they’re at work, but having time as a couple with such a young baby is invaluable.

Don’t most grandparents babysit their grandchildren in the early days when new parents are too worried to leave their small baby with a baby sitter?
Is your DP actually going to be doing any of the child minding at all? If not, and you are happy to do it, why is he concerned?

Your ‘D’P sounds like an utter arsehole. Does he normally try to control decisions that are solely yours to make?

So your never going to baby sit for them if it was down your DP?

Give them a break and enjoy 121 with your GS

If you're happy to do it, of course you're not being unreasonable

Your partner sounds unpleasant. There is nothing unreasonable about looking after your grandchild as much as you and they want if mutually agreeable.

Of course you’re not being unreasonable.

Your partner is though.

What would your DP prefer? That they get someone else to babysit who then has to spend the evening with you in your house?

One evening baby-sitting sounds like a lovely thing to do, and may be just what they need. The baby stage is very full on. How lovely to have an evening where you can go out and relax and know your baby is with loving grandparents.

Is your partner worried about you having the baby 3x per week and this is the top of the iceberg?

If your dp isn’t doing the babysitting and it’s not every weekend then it’s not his business.

How old are your son and his GF? Are they going to live with you indefinitely?

I think there is a risk if they are young and live with you that you end up taking over parenting

On the face of it your partner is being unreasonable, but could it be that he is fed up of them living with you (assuming he lives there too)?

Not enough info on the face of it. Does DP live with you? Is he worried you're being taken advantage of, or is he annoyed you'll be spending Sat at home with the baby and not with him?

Once every month or two is a lovely thing to do for them, it's difficult to find a sitter you trust. It sounds like he doesn't approve of you doing weekday childcare in the future to me

Assisting in the nurturing of their relationship is as important as nurturing their dc. Imo. Your dp doesn't sound very dear at all. Is he miffed your world as a distraction from him in it?

If this is your first time, it sounds a very nice thing to do.

3 days is a lot to commit to, very generous.

What is your partner like?

That's harsh from your DH.

I am not gonna lie, I have had one afternoon off since I had my daughter in 2019 (EBF, then COVID hit) and it can be exhausting. Me and my partner haven't spent quality time together in nearly 2 years. Of course, no one has an obligation to look after anyone else's children but if you are in a position to it is a kind thing to do.

It's not "taking advantage" if it's something you're happy to do.

* Your partner sounds unpleasant. There is nothing unreasonable about looking after your grandchild as much as you and they want if mutually agreeable.*

^This

It's very kind of you to do.

My mum looks after my kids 3 days a week while I work. I wouldn't ask my parents to watch my children for a social thing for this reason, I would pay a babysitter instead.

I expect once you watch the baby 3 days a week, they won't be asking for extra favours on top.

I really hope that if / when I become a granny that I’ll be able to babysit and help out by sons / daughters in law. You sound like a lovely gran, I’m sure you’re developing a wonderful bond with your grandson, and if you’re happy to do it, tell your partner to weesht and crack on!