Would you want to know if your DS became a father?

[wollongo]

Not sure if I should get involved!

We are in Scotland and DS(16)went back to school on Monday. Earlier, DS told me his friend had been acting weird and he asked him what was wrong and he told him he's a dad, DS was confused, and the friend told him the girl gave birth during the holidays but she doesn't go to their school so DS wouldn't know her. He then told DS not to tell anyone as no one else knows.

If I told his parents, he'd know DS told someone but surely they should know? Or should I stay out if it

Nothing to do with you op
If you want your son to come to you in future with things I’d stay out of it

You also have no evidence this is true

Stay the hell out of it. This may not even be true.

That sounds like bollox

I think if it was a good friend who you also knew well then you should say something - however it sounds like it's a random friend from school. Maybe you could talk to DS about it and encourage him to get his friend to tell his parents

Stay out of it. It's probably rubbish anyway.

My dds bio dad’s dad didn’t know of her existence til she was 4. I had no way to contact him even if I wanted his involvement. I don’t know how he felt about that but even now he knows, he has no desire for contact, so I guess for some people it inexplicably can be no big deal and they might even rather not know.

Stay out of it.

Stay out of it.

It’s up to the girl if she wants people to know who the father of her child is. She might have very good reasons to not want to share.
It’s not your business at all.

None of your business keep out of it

No, not your business.

However, I very much doubt its even true, tbh.

Of course you don't say anything.

A young woman has had a baby and made the decision not to tell the boy's parents. Her parents have abided by that decision. The young man - who is over the age of consent - has decided not to tell his parents. You don't know the reasoning behind their decisions and it's not your place to get involved. The fact that his parents might want to know does not trump the fact that the boy and girl don't want them to know. If it's even true.

Yes I'd want to know, but it is not for you to advise the parents. Poor child if the dad wants nothing to do with her or him.

Why on earth would you think it’s your place to get involved? He’s 16 presumed an adult in Scotland and if it’s true really doesn’t need a gossipy friend’s mum wading in.

I would ofcourse want to know if my son became a dad.. but you should definitely stay out of it, it will just cause hassle for you and mostly your son

Stay out of it for sure

Could be a complete lie. Maybe the girl doesn’t want the dad involved? Honestly it could cause a lot more harm than good either way.

Are you sure this isn’t your own son testing the waters about how to tell you similar news?

she doesn't go to their school so DS wouldn't know her

Unless this tale was centred around an actual verifiable girl/ woman, I would be loath to believe.

As a parent I'd 100% want to know if my child became a parent.

As a person, I'd also want people (in this case, your DS's friend) to have people in their lives they can trust (your DS) with their secrets and be able to figure things out in their own time.

As an adult, I'm always sceptical of teens who claim to be pregnant or have fathered a child. Not saying it doesn't happen, but in my all girl's school, I'd say there was a different teen 'pregnant' each month and only one child ever born. Obviously some may have miscarried or terminated, but the vast majority were just down to irregular periods or attention seeking.

Absolutely not up to you

Stay out of it. Even if it’s true you don’t know for sure that the boy’s parents don’t know.

How do you know the parents dont know?
I would assume "noone else knows " to be school friends particularly with the background of the supposed girl in another school.
If its you're very best friend for 20 years then that changes things perhaps (and is a massive drip feed)

Absolutely not up to you to say anything.

If the friend is 16 then they should be treated as an adult. Especially if they are now a father with all the responsibilities that entails.

Stay out, you don't know if it's true or any of the circumstances, its not your business to sort.