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Original poster

Child maintenance

52 replies

Faloola88 · 18/08/2021 00:44

Hi all, where do I even start.
Me and kids dad broke up 6 years ago. He is only available in a Sunday afternoon to spend time with them as he is always working. Me and their dad have a history of domestic violence, him towards me. I cant even begin to explain his evilness toward me....
Anyway I set me feelings on him aside and still allowed my kids to see him because they love him.
He has always paid me 100 per week for both children, a agreement between us, never had issues with him paying me.
His now self employed, had been for 2 years, has his own company etc...
We argued recently as he missed a couple child maintenance payments and he then sent me a screen shot of a online calculation he done from the child maintenance website.
He put down he earns 12 grand a year so they calculated that he should pay me 36.82 for both kids for a week!!!!
Every penny has always gone on my children, my 12 year old son is 6 foot an wears size 10 shoes, my daughter is 11.
The point is he lied about how much he earns a year! 12 grand! He dont get out of bed for less than 250 a day doing private construction work. I know alot he does cash in hand so I have reported him to hmrc as I dont believe his paying his taxes. I've also made a application to csa for them to look into it.
I know this sounds spiteful and I really am not money grabbing but my kids deserve and need that money! Im being treated for PTSD because of my past, this man bullied me, put me in hospital while pregnant with our son cut my neck with a blade, he was awful to me!
I feel very resentful because he seems to have absolutely everything and he is a evil man, yet I do absolutely everything for my kids and struggle on a daily basis.
I do believe he deserves to be caught out, do you know what hmrc will do and if they can catch him out working cash in hand as I believe he doesn't pass much money through his company and it seems he changed his company this may, to avoid tax? I dont know my id really appreciate some advice.
No negativity please

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 18/08/2021 00:55

I think to be honest you will likely get nowhere with this. The CMS seem completely inept at getting the correct CM from these -so even if you pursued it through them I wouldn't hold out much hope.
I hope he gets caught, this kind of tax avoidance seems to be pretty rife amongst some self employed.
Are you sure it's not putting you in more danger by reporting him ? He sounds like a nasty piece of work and there can't be many people wo know he is avoiding tax?

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 18/08/2021 00:59

OP I wish I had better news but sadly a lot of NRPs do this and put naff all through the books in order to lower child maintenance payments. It's disgusting and CMS do fuck all about it. Your best is ti report him to HMRC if you think he is fiddling the figures

DeflatedGinDrinker · 18/08/2021 01:12

Agree you will get nowhere with csa unfortunately. Mine pays £7pw per child but pre pandemic was abroad 5 times a year. Apparently he had no job though. No job he declared! You focus on you and the children OP don't rely on anything from him then whatever you get is a bonus.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 18/08/2021 01:13

I mean cms, used to be csa!

sst1234 · 18/08/2021 02:15

This is why we need an American style system to make these feckless men pay for their own children. But OP, you are right to report him anyway

ThinWomansBrain · 18/08/2021 02:25

one of my friends perfect son - in her eyes, can do no wrong, sun shines out of his backside does this - she complained it wasn't fair that he couldn't claim support grants in lockdown based on his actual earnings rather than the miniscule amount he'd bothered to include on his tax return. Hmm

wineandsunshine · 18/08/2021 03:08

Agree with above op - if he's self employed he will play the system.

I have two children with ex and he currently owes over £21k to me via CMS....he just gets away with it and I've had years of no money. It's sad really.

The whole system is a joke!

Confusednewmum1 · 18/08/2021 03:22

The thing is if he is claiming income of 12k and is self employed CMA can’t do anything he will be paying himself the rest as a dividend which can’t be used for CMA calculations. Sister does accounts and this is what all her self employed men do, set up a company in their own name and draw a limited salary….,.,

BananaMilkshakeWithCream · 18/08/2021 07:08

Well done for reporting him but the chances of any repercussions are tiny. I reported my ex more than once as I had evidence that he was earning more than he was declaring. They did absolutely nothing whatsoever 🤷‍♀️

BananaMilkshakeWithCream · 18/08/2021 07:10

@ThinWomansBrain

one of my friends perfect son - in her eyes, can do no wrong, sun shines out of his backside does this - she complained it wasn't fair that he couldn't claim support grants in lockdown based on his actual earnings rather than the miniscule amount he'd bothered to include on his tax return. Hmm
This was one thing that made me laugh about my ex. Revenge is a dish best served cold sometimes 😂 These people think they can have it both ways but it turned out, on this occasion, they couldn’t!
sandgrown · 18/08/2021 07:22

Some men become very adept at hiding their income from HMRC/CMS . Receiving parents can provide information if they know about the “hidden” income but they have to do a little work themselves ,as they would in the days the courts decided maintenance . What is his property worth . Any mortgage ?What car does he drive ? Is it on credit ? Where and how often is he going on holiday ( when we could) is he a member of a gym/ golf club . All these sorts of things point to a higher income . Many ex partners were happy for their self employed partners not to declare income when they lived together so may have the information. Unfortunately CMS/HMRC have limited numbers of fraud investigators.

Original poster
Faloola88 · 18/08/2021 09:43

He recently bought a new work van for himself which cost him 9 grand. He lives with his dad. Its awful how these men can just get away with this. I've reported him to hmrc

OP posts:
PumpkinKlNG · 18/08/2021 09:50

I don’t think you will get anywhere tbh, I cancelled mine after being told I was entitled to £7 per week for 4 children Hmm so good luck

Hekatestorch · 18/08/2021 09:51

Its really shit.

My kids dad does the same. Claims he only earns 12k a year. I have never gone to csa. I actually earn alot more than his and can't be arsed going through it. Because they are so good at hiding it all.

Yanbu to pursue and report to HMRC, though. Though it's likely to come to nothing, unfortunately.

Loads of people claim minimal wage and big chunks through dividends.

During lockdown 1 Mn had quite a few posters, who had been doing this from very successful businesses. Not to get out of CSA, but to reduce tax that they paid. I saw plenty complaining on TV as well. Because they couldn't get the equivalent of their actual income, in grants/furlough etc. It was based on their wage only. Left alot of them screwed in that instance. But I have no sympathy for them, tbh.

SuperstoreFan · 18/08/2021 09:53

You'll get nowhere, he'll be paying himself with dividends unfortunately.

DynamoKev · 18/08/2021 09:57

No negativity please
Not sure what that means but but at the risk of breaking that "rule" - HMRC and CMS are shit and hopeless and for some reason get away with it.

wineandsunshine · 18/08/2021 11:14

The irony is you can't get away with not paying council tax - but you can for your children Sad

FuckMeGentlyWithAChainsaw · 18/08/2021 11:56

You’re well within your right to report him

ChainJane · 18/08/2021 11:58

If HMRC find evidence of him doing cash in hand jobs it might mean he gets fined by them (though tbh it's unlikely to get that far, unless he is very careless). Trouble is that doesn't mean you will see any of it.

Oogachuckachopsy · 18/08/2021 12:56

The one good thing to come out of Covid was that the self-employment grants for these feckless cunts was based on the pitiful amount they had actually declared to HMRC. Ha. Twats.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 18/08/2021 13:13

The one good thing to come out of Covid was that the self-employment grants for these feckless cunts was based on the pitiful amount they had actually declared to HMRC. Ha. Twats.

Yes, I felt that way about it to!

But back to OP - ask the CMS if they have checked his audited accounts. He should have at least one set ready and they could possibly use those.

2021V2 · 18/08/2021 13:17

@sst1234

This is why we need an American style system to make these feckless men pay for their own children. But OP, you are right to report him anyway
Yep I wrote to the CMS in may to say that my ex was again understating his income and he earns x amount and it is absolutely unacceptable for them not to case it. He’s number of nights has also decreased and he did none last year due to Covid. It’s august and I sent a chase up letter in June and about to send another letter absolutely no reply to any of them. But yes csa. Does Sunday afternoon suit you? What about holidays? And after school care etc?
Getawaywithit · 18/08/2021 13:28

Don’t hold your breath, OP. The CMS is next to useless. I have waited 12 years for payment from a self employed ex. It used to bother me but once I got my head round it, I realised managing without him was the best revenge. He hates it! He hates that the kids have everything they need and that they know he has had sod all to do with that. Can’t bring himself to sort it, however.

Kithic · 18/08/2021 13:31

@ThinWomansBrain

one of my friends perfect son - in her eyes, can do no wrong, sun shines out of his backside does this - she complained it wasn't fair that he couldn't claim support grants in lockdown based on his actual earnings rather than the miniscule amount he'd bothered to include on his tax return. Hmm
oh I fucking love that!!
GallowwayGirl88 · 18/08/2021 14:01

I’d assume he has a company and takes a wage from the company around minimum wage, meaning the company may be in a pretty good financial situation where as he’ll be paying himself £8 an hour (or whatever the minimum wage is). The van will probably be a business vehicle and paid for by the company as well.

Shite for you and the kids, but any business owner would be advised to do this.