Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a doctor telling you that you need to lose weight isn't "fat shaming?"

185 replies

FrankieDoyle · 17/08/2021 19:00

Genuinely interested in opinions.
I follow a plus size Instagram blogger/influencer who normally posts about fashion, inspirational quotes etc.

Today she posted about a trip to hospital that she had. The doctors there were apparently unhelpful and told her that they couldn't operate on her because, amongst other reasons, her weight. They told her she would need to lose weight before they could consider it.
I think she's about a size 26-28, from her posts about her wardrobe where she's mentioned the size she wears.

So she posted a video stating that she was sick of being fat shamed, something needs to change, and the doctors don't take her seriously etc.

It got me thinking that actually I disagree with her viewpoint that it's "fat shaming" to inform a patient that they need to lose weight? The doctors have to check that it's safe to perform an operation on someone don't they?

I say this as an overweight person myself (currently a size 20 but following a diet plan and trying to lose weight. )

Maybe I'm wrong I don't know, but it seems unfair to criticise doctors on a public platform with thousands of followers, simply for doing their job.

I understand some doctors can be patronising or seem to focus on a person's weight, and that can't be a nice experience. But I really disagree that it's "fat shaming" actually I quite dislike the phrase being used to criticise these medical professionals.

OP posts:
Sexnotgender · 17/08/2021 19:02

It’s not fat shaming to inform a patient that they cannot have surgery until they lose weight.

It would be negligent not tell them.

Italiangreyhound · 17/08/2021 19:05

Totally agree, it is not far shaming.

CareBear50 · 17/08/2021 19:05

Does she have a brain? She is being utterly ridiculous. It's not fat shaming.....it's providing correct medical advice. She's an idiot

girlmom21 · 17/08/2021 19:07

Agreed - she's an idiot. Would she rather they just operated on her regardless of all of the additional health risks?

Proudboomer · 17/08/2021 19:07

No it is not fat shaming.
Surgery involves risks and some surgeries are not possible to do on a person who is obese.

FionnulaTheCooler · 17/08/2021 19:08

It's not fat shaming if it's medical advice from a qualified professional. Sounds like she's getting Instagram comments and real life muddled up.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/08/2021 19:08

She wasn't fat shamed, FFS. She's just a drama queen who wants more attention.

Original poster
FrankieDoyle · 17/08/2021 19:08

@CareBear50

Does she have a brain? She is being utterly ridiculous. It's not fat shaming.....it's providing correct medical advice. She's an idiot
Yeah, I mean she normally posts quite nice stuff, links to new outfits etc. But this was a bit much.
OP posts:
ParityJ · 17/08/2021 19:09

I thought they insisted on weight loss as it can cause issues with anesthetic and blood oxygen levels and the like?

It isn't said with the intent to shame, but keep her safe and give her a better chance of successful surgery.

TheGumption · 17/08/2021 19:10

🙄🙄 of course isn't fat shaming but it makes her feel better because the doctor has touched a nerve.

AlfonsoTheMango · 17/08/2021 19:12

It's not "fat shaming"; it's a person who wants other people to take responsibility.

ZealAndArdour · 17/08/2021 19:15

I’m a HCP and have also previously been a size 26.

It’s not fat shaming.

I had some surgery done privately and had to pay an extra £1000 to have an ICU bed on standby for the night (due to my BMI and increased anaesthetic risk) when I came out of theatre incase I had any complications or didn’t recover well from the anaesthetic.

Thankfully I’ve lost weight and I’m no longer in that risk category. I was happy to pay the money even though I never needed the ICU bed.

Longdistance · 17/08/2021 19:15

It’s not fat shaming per se, but would be more helpful if the GP gave some dietary advice or referred them to a dietitian.

cherrypiepie · 17/08/2021 19:16

No it's ridiculous .

I was accused of fat shaming when I posted on weight loss that I was as scared I was going to die when I got covid and needed to lose weight!

That I was fat shaming. (I was a size 18 and have lost 2.5 stone)

Seems any mention of anyone who wants to lose weight (or who needs to lose weight for a valid reason as in a their party opinion) is fat shaming.

MsTSwift · 17/08/2021 19:16

A family member is a senior anaesthetist and obesity makes his job more difficult

terfinginthevoid · 17/08/2021 19:16

It's not 'fat shaming', it's explaining the risks of anaesthesia and surgery.
Massive obesity is not a healthy state - a doctor is negligent if they don't point that out to a patient.

cherrypiepie · 17/08/2021 19:17

Typo- that I was fat shaming myself

Vates · 17/08/2021 19:18

I am a size 24-26 so true fattie here. I don't think it is shaming to be honest but approached with care. My GP who has treated me (severe mental health problems) since 19 only tried to tackle my weight problem once and she was incredibly sweet but honest about it. Unfortunately I don't want to live (and living a long life would be my personal hell!) and love food more than people (food is nicer than you're average person) so there's not a solution as far as I can tell. But Society in general definitely has a problem with fat shaming. My god, the incidents for me between the ages of 16-30 destroyed me, my confidence and my whole life. BTW, at size 20 people will definitely still look down on you! I think the shaming needs to stop.

54321nought · 17/08/2021 19:18

Its not fat shaming, to give correct medical advice

Original poster
FrankieDoyle · 17/08/2021 19:18

@ZealAndArdour

I’m a HCP and have also previously been a size 26.

It’s not fat shaming.

I had some surgery done privately and had to pay an extra £1000 to have an ICU bed on standby for the night (due to my BMI and increased anaesthetic risk) when I came out of theatre incase I had any complications or didn’t recover well from the anaesthetic.

Thankfully I’ve lost weight and I’m no longer in that risk category. I was happy to pay the money even though I never needed the ICU bed.

Well done!
OP posts:
UnsuitableHat · 17/08/2021 19:20

As much as it would be nice for a doctor to say ‘You’re beautiful as you are’, it’s literally their job to tell you if you need to lose weight. Everyone else can flannel to their heart’s content.

Vates · 17/08/2021 19:20

Also I was surprised that surgeons were just like on tv medical drama shows. Stuck up and thinking they are demi-god like. The surgeons that saw my Mum whilst I was there were just plain rude.

ThinWomansBrain · 17/08/2021 19:22

Of course it's not - I'm a 16-18 and get told regularly by GP that I need to lose weight.
There's ways of saying it though - GP is fine, one of the nurses is so rude and patronising that I refuse to see her.

Many years ago I had a GP who used to glare at me jealously every visit and say "if I weighed as much as you I would be very very fat" made me laugh every time.

Imnewhere1991 · 17/08/2021 19:24

I think it's the way it's said. It's not unreasonable to comment if increased weight is an issue.

FrancescaContini · 17/08/2021 19:25

@Vates

Also I was surprised that surgeons were just like on tv medical drama shows. Stuck up and thinking they are demi-god like. The surgeons that saw my Mum whilst I was there were just plain rude.
Oh dear…..