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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU Abingdon services

37 replies

HopeEternalDad · 17/08/2021 12:36

AIBU? The services this weekend just gone where so busy, if you where on the motorways you likely seen what I seen which was carnage.

At Abingdon services on our way back from Scotland visiting my family the baby changing facilities where out of order. My wife and I decided we would each go to the bathroom and swap holding our 9 week old in the car seat whilst the other got in line.

Whilst waiting on my wife and holding DS in his car seat I decided that my arm was killing so I was going to place him on a high chair just next to the toilets... problem is the high chair I found was about 2 ft inside the little area with the fruit machines. A supervisor appeared like a bat out of hell from god knows where with a raised voice telling me to get out as DS is under age ... granted she wasn't wrong at 9 weeks he is under age but come on.

I was trying to rest my arm, get out of peoples way and not have to put him on the ground with the risk of someone tripping over him or bumping into him whilst I held the seat. Anyway after I made the comment that this was ridiculous, the supervisor just kept repeating "It's the law, get out". I may have then called her a jobs worth and have been asked to leave for being abusive to a staff member (calling her a jobsworth was the abuse).

Am I being unreasonable for thinking this was a complete over reaction? I get that technically yes he is under age but come on there has to be a bit of common sense here or am I just being wishful?

Over to you!

OP posts:
JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 17/08/2021 17:32

Sounds like you were rude to the woman who asked you to take your baby out of the gaming area. Maybe if you'd spoken nicely to her she'd have been nicer back?

She also might have shown more sympathy to you if you hadn't called her a jobsworth?

GintyMcGinty · 17/08/2021 17:35

The staff member overreacted.

So did you.

GintyMcGinty · 17/08/2021 17:36

To add though I was at Abingdon last week and it was horrendously busy. I would avoid it in the future it was not a pleasant experience at all.

SnowyPetals · 17/08/2021 17:36

Yes, she was being a bit OTT, but couldn't you just have set the baby down on the floor in his car seat to give your arm a break? I don't get why you needed a high chair. The whole thing sounds like a drama over not very much on both sides.

ThatsNotMyReindeer · 17/08/2021 17:37

You were in the wrong and you were rude. They probably agree that it's silly not allowing a young baby in the area, but it's the law and they need to follow the rules.

SameToo · 17/08/2021 17:37

If it’s anything like a pub the establishment can be fined and the person individually fined for not upholding age limits. You can’t gripe for being in an area where a baby is clearly not allowed to be.

LIZS · 17/08/2021 17:40

A 9 week old doesn't use a highchair. You could have rested the seat on floor, table, chair. Sounds like both of you were at fault.

Againstmachine · 17/08/2021 17:40

You shouldn't be there it as simple as that, but you decided to argue with her and call her names. I would ask you to leave too.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 17/08/2021 17:41

You were in the wrong, then, instead of apologising and asking her to pass the highchair to you, you got defensive and started name calling.

The world doesn't revolve around you or your baby.

xyzandabc · 17/08/2021 17:42

But she was right, it is illegal for anyone underage to be in that area. I would imagine they could be fined or lose their license in the same way a shop or publican could if they served someone underage.

Seems a strange place to store high chairs though. Could the high chair not have been moved 2ft so it was out of the restricted area?

TheCraftyLass · 17/08/2021 17:43

It has nothing to do with a "technicality" or "a bit of commonsense". A minor in the area is a breach of their license, actual age is immaterial.
Your 9 week old could have cost them their license plus a hefty fine.

And I agree with the pp, you were rude and BU.
If you hadn't behaved as you did, the event wouldn't have escalated to the stage where you were asked to leave. How can you not see that?

Yes, the roads and therefore the services were busy (it's school holidays - coming to an end in Scotland so lots of families getting home for returning to school)
yes, you had to queue
yes, it was unfortunate that the baby change facilities were out of order
NO, the staff member does not have to put up with your shite.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 17/08/2021 17:45

I'm guess you mean one of the bar stool type chairs? Not a babies high chair?

If its the law, they have to follow it. Even if it seems ridiculous.

Take the baby out of the car seat and leave the car seat on the floor out of the way. They are supposed to have regular car seat breaks anyway.

JassyRadlett · 17/08/2021 17:45

Ok: car seat on floor, one leg on either side of it, car seat is no longer a trip hazard. Problem solved, no rude behaviour to strangers required.

You lost any moral high ground with the jobsworth comment. Did you ever stop to wonder where that phrase came from? That’s someone on minimum wage having to enforce the law, knowing that if they get it wrong they could be fined and/or fired.

Original poster
HopeEternalDad · 17/08/2021 17:47

Fair do's seems I am being unreasonable :) "High chair" it was a chair high off the ground a better description would have been a stool with a back on it .. not like a eating high chair

OP posts:
MrsFin · 17/08/2021 17:50

The law is the law. The person or the business could be fined, or worse for allowing someone under 18 into that area.
Same argument for not allowing babies into cinemas when an 18 rated film is showing, even though "they are sleeping".

girlmom21 · 17/08/2021 17:53

She was doing her job. You could've just switched arms...

Original poster
HopeEternalDad · 17/08/2021 17:56

Is under 18s thing in the cinema actually a law? I ask as one of the cinema groups "everyman" run baby and parent screenings for all sorts of movies, not sure about 18s but 12's etc and baby must be under 1 by their rules. Made me wonder when I first seen it.

OP posts:
Thatstheway · 17/08/2021 17:59

Did you get lost?. Trip advisor is that way>>>

KidneyBeans · 17/08/2021 18:00

Right so you were abusive to a staff member who asked you not to break the law during a super busy weekend where she was rushed off her feet and yet you were still so sure you were right you posted here?

You sound like an entitled arsehole

Original poster
HopeEternalDad · 17/08/2021 18:01

I hadn't really thought of the origin I have now though. Your right it was mean of me to use the term I should have considered that it might be her job on the line.

OP posts:
Mysterian · 17/08/2021 18:01

YABU. Your baby almost certainly has a gambling addiction now.

Original poster
HopeEternalDad · 17/08/2021 18:04

I thought the purpose of here was to ask was I being unreasonable, turns out I was and beyond that was being a dick. Halo

OP posts:
Original poster
HopeEternalDad · 17/08/2021 18:06

He did just try to bet me a bottle of milk that I couldn't jump further than the cat. It's a slippery slope ;)

OP posts:
MrsFin · 17/08/2021 18:07

@HopeEternalDad

Is under 18s thing in the cinema actually a law? I ask as one of the cinema groups "everyman" run baby and parent screenings for all sorts of movies, not sure about 18s but 12's etc and baby must be under 1 by their rules. Made me wonder when I first seen it.
Apocryphally, yes. But I confess I haven't witnessed this myself.
TheCanyon · 17/08/2021 18:10

It's Abington btw. It's our nearest motorway services, never once had an issue with staff there. There's also plenty space to stand out the way in a spot with a car seat at your feet.