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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or is this ivf advert a bit too targeted or am I being sensitive

38 replies

Oldandcobwebbed · 16/08/2021 08:49

I've just hit 30, Facebook knows this.

All of a sudden my adverts have a distinct fertility feel to them. However this one is a new low. A giant clock and telling me that my fertility is declining? Is it just me or is it a bit too much to be randomly placed on random peoples Facebook feeds?

Jokes on them to be honest as I'm infertile! I realise they are targeted usually due to interests and have deliberately avoided such content, and interacting with things likely to bring up ads.

I've been slowly go through and saying not applicable to me and sorting out my preference. Ive now chosen the see fewer parenting ads as there isn't a see zero option.

This just feels like a step too far.

Or is this ivf advert a bit too targeted or am I being sensitive
OP posts:
00100001 · 16/08/2021 08:50

Ah, but you do things like use Mumsnet, so your ads will be targeted that way :/

user1495884211 · 16/08/2021 08:53

Get an adblocker. Targetted ads are cunts. I had a breast lump scare so obviously did some googling and then started getting ads (on facebook feed so harder to block) to donate to cancer charities. Just what I wanted at that time.

Oldandcobwebbed · 16/08/2021 08:58

@00100001
I use incognito for mumsnet and a separate email. I do genuinely feel its an age thing, when I clicked on why am I seeing this it had nothing about previous interests

@user1495884211 This is a Facebook feed advert too, do ad blockers work on Facebook?

OP posts:
Oldandcobwebbed · 16/08/2021 08:59

I dont mind seeing ads for baby stuff etc, even seeing ivf ads in general doesnt perticularly bother me but this one feels perticularly loaded to be distributed randomly without any idea of peoples circumstance

OP posts:
lljkk · 16/08/2021 09:01

You must have done something (supplied some bit of information or clicked on something) to make Internet think this is a topic of interest to you. I can't recall any adverts like that ever at me. Maybe you simply visited an infertility support website.

On a lot of social media websites you can find an option box to say a specific advert is irrelevant to you.

I'm in my 50s. I get weight loss, science t-shirts, bike luggage, drawer organisers, Amnesty International, comfy slippers, wrist-warmers & warm cardigan ads. Some of it is at least a little relevant.

Oldandcobwebbed · 16/08/2021 09:35

I think its the alarm clock ticking that bothered me, as even if I've slipped somewhere and it knows I've visited infertility groups, you would hope that advertisements to that sect of people wouldn't feature a clock and steadily declining fertility

As I say, I've selected all of the not interested, edited my preferences etc but still stuff gets through. This is just the worst in my opinion. I think even if it wasn't targeted and was just on TV I would think it was insensitive

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 16/08/2021 09:42

I have an email address that I only use for FB. I swear FB also knows what MN threads I have been looking at, eg; thread about jeans for the autumn, FB is then full of Levi’s ads, evening I havn’t clicked any links in the MN thread.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 16/08/2021 09:44

Yes. These ads are targetted based on your internet use.
I don't think incognito helps in that case. Did you amybe Google something from here? I once googled and had nappy ads and baby feeding stuff for weeks🙄 I have no children

54321nought · 16/08/2021 09:47

egg freezing is a big con - it rarely works.

I don't know anyone who it has worked for

Antsinmypantsneedtodance · 16/08/2021 09:49

Have you ever discussed fertility on whatsapp on on fb messenger? All linked.

girlmom21 · 16/08/2021 10:01

Have you been googling infertility or something that could be linked to infertility? Do you have someone in your household who might have been reading up online? It all links.

LtJudyHopps · 16/08/2021 10:06

Yes I’ve been getting age targeted adverts on Facebook - literally life insurance adverts with my age on!!

sbhydrogen · 16/08/2021 10:39

I agree that the advert is tactless, but adverts are never random. You must have clicked on something, or another device connected to your WiFi might have looked at something. It's not really worth companies' money to randomly advertise.

Saoirse82 · 16/08/2021 10:47

@54321nought

egg freezing is a big con - it rarely works.

I don't know anyone who it has worked for

Opposite here, I know many people it has worked for. A FET has roughly the same chances of pregnancy as a fresh cycle.
BendingSpoons · 16/08/2021 10:52

Facebook keeps suggesting dating to me. I'm married but don't have that on Facebook, so I think it's a fairly crude algorithm. My Internet searching is generally things like 'days out for the kids' etc. I agree that sadly your age is likely to be involved.

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 16/08/2021 11:26

Why did you ever think it was random? Anybody can buy a Facebook ad and choose who sees it - age, interests, gender, location, etc.

SoupDragon · 16/08/2021 11:27

@54321nought

egg freezing is a big con - it rarely works.

I don't know anyone who it has worked for

How many people have confided in you? I bet it is a tiny number.
girlmom21 · 16/08/2021 11:37

@54321nought

egg freezing is a big con - it rarely works.

I don't know anyone who it has worked for

How many people you know have discussed that with you? I know of one person who's had IVF but have no idea what method/route they chose. It's not something people commonly discuss.
TheKeatingFive · 16/08/2021 11:44

It isn’t randomly placed. It’ll be targeted to you based on information they have on your age and your online activity,

I wonder what percentage of people who freeze eggs pursue it further, much less actually get pregnant?

Oldandcobwebbed · 16/08/2021 11:48

@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl

I didn't mean completely random, more of an insensitive advert to be sent to random people who may have accessed something generic like mumsnet who may have done for all sorts of reasons, or to send to people at random from a target market of age etc. It seems like the sort of image that you would want to make sure hits a specific market

As I say I have my preference to "less" (as is that is offered) parenting adds, and have deliberately removed all the baby related interests previously, as well as said i wasn't interested in previous adds.

I'd think it was insensitive if it was completely random anyway eg on a bus, tv or radio

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TheGirlWhoWantedToBeGod · 16/08/2021 11:51

Facebook can definitely be insensitive. A few years back after I had a miscarriage I mentioned this on Facebook. I was then shown loads of ads for IVF, egg freezing etc, which had never come up before I mentioned the miscarriage.

LadyJaye · 16/08/2021 11:51

I use a Chrome plugin called Facebook Purity which removes the worst of the ads from my feed.

Also, remove your age and sex from your FB profile (you can retain your birthday, but remove your year of birth).

TakeYourFinalPosition · 16/08/2021 11:53

I use incognito for mumsnet and a separate email.

There will still be links; and Mumsnet is a massively targeted site for ads across the internet, it's a great way to reach parents/people who want to be parents.

You can tell Facebook not to show you any parenting ads, if you'd like - but as you've said that it's just that ad that bothers you, there's an option to hide the ad, and once you've clicked that, you can choose from a list of options as to why you've hidden it - including that it's not relevant, or that it "knows too much", or that it's upsetting. Any of those options would have worked. Facebook then uses this to assess the ads. I'm surprised the one that you screenshot made it through approvals; it doesn't really comply with the terms.

But you're not unreasonable to think it's a bit strong. It'll probably be disallowed when enough people hide it.

Yokey · 16/08/2021 11:54

It's a shit ad and I dislike the alarm clock too. I'm also infertile.

I agree with PP, egg freezing doesn't have brilliant success rates. It's not the same as a FET, which is frozen embryos. Many women would need a lot of frozen eggs (which means several cycles) to have a good chance of getting a baby.

VienneseWhirligig · 16/08/2021 12:00

Actually talking about stuff in real life in earshot of your phone links ads as well. DS was talking about a pair of trainers he wanted and showed me them on his phone, next thing I'm getting ads for them on my own phone.