To stay in an AirBnB when visiting my parents?

[3plantpots]

My family live a good 4 hours away and we go to visit fairly regularly- excepting COVID of course. However we have now had second DC and the lack of space in their tiny house is really starting to make it a bit uncomfortable to stay with them. I’m thinking to look for a local AirBnB or similar, with enough bedrooms and space for the kids, it also might mean we could bring the dog which would be a huge bonus as arranging dog care is another hassle with visits at the moment.

However I know thar my mother will be absolutely mortally offended. Also they wouldn’t get to see the kids quite as much as staying in their house. It’s a real shame as they are brilliant with them, adore them and are a huge help. But their house really is impossibly small for 4 adults, 2 children and their dog. Even for a few days :(

Do it! DC can always have a sleepover or 2 at grandparents house for extra time together.

I started doing this. It's brilliant, we can stay longer without getting sick of each other, less work for my mam, deals with the different approaches to getting up and out for the day. Definitely do it and frame it as being less work for your parents. They won't want you to not feel welcome in their house so will probably say they want you there but actually they may be relieved

As above

@AuntLydiasNewHairdo

Do it! DC can always have a sleepover or 2 at grandparents house for extra time together.

^^ this. Can GPs have DC by themselves and you and DH get some chill time?

How many bedrooms do they have?

I think book it, and suggest the kids can sleep over any nights they want them (assuming they're capable) and have parents to yours a couple of nights so you can cook etc?

No you must start doing this. Your DM may be insulted the first time, but then she'll get used to it pretty quickly and it makes a lot of sense as the DCs get older and need a bit more space and GPs also need more downtime. Having the dog gives you the perfect excuse/reason.

Im fact, blame Fido. Oh sorry Mom, we've booked this cos we couldn't get dog care ...

Can the children sleep over while you stay in the hotel?

Would not use Air B and B. I’d rather sleep in a field.

I wouldnt use Airbnb, but yes to booking accomadation near your parents.
It has made visiting in PiL significantly less stressful.

When I visit my parents with just my DDs, the three of us sleep in my childhood bedroom. Its cramped and uncomfortable, but doable for a week or so.
If DH comes... we stay in the local Premier Inn and DDs sleep at grandparents. We still go there for meals etc. But can escape at 9pm (and have a glass of wine in the hotel room).
No pets to consider.

My parents have come to the conclusion that one bedroom is too small for four people.

Are you sure she’ll be offended? We thought my MIL would be offended and she was so relieved as she found it stressful us all being in her house but felt she couldn’t say. We stay in either a clamping pod or caravan now so it feels like a little holiday.

I have similar issues with my dad & step-mum. They always stay in B+B when they visit us, i feel in the way if I stay more than 3 nights at theirs.

Yes we do similar. Stay in a travelodge ( ooh the glamour) it works SO much better now they children are teens

Do it for the extra space for the kids but don’t take the dog. That makes it an entirely different type of visit and they shouldn’t have to plan around it.

I imagine she'll be relieved. But you'd have to take the dog to her house as well. Would they be ok with that? I know I wouldn't so worth checking.

Take the dog!

We do this when visiting parents and family and it's much better as others have said - own space/routine and can do longer visits but see for smaller chunks of time each day and no sitting on sofa in evening listening to clock tick...my advice re talking to family about this is to say you've decided to book Airbnb for next visit and when questioned the only answer is "we like our own space" or "we prefer to do it this way". My experience is that if you say things like "we think it will be easier for you/less work for you/better with the dog" etc family will say "oh we don't mind". So you need to be clear this is about what YOU prefer and what YOU choose to do. They will also just get used to it the more you do it. Never go back to staying with them, stick to it and enjoy a newfound love for visiting them! X

@SleepingStandingUp

Im fact, blame Fido. Oh sorry Mom, we've booked this cos we couldn't get dog care ...

Yes do this the first time, ‘oh we’ve been let down by the dog sitter/kennels is full etc and we don’t want to cancel coming so let’s try this’ then once they see how well it works you can just do it every time

I had to make the exact same decision and it was awful going through that process but it is SO much better now. My mum wasn’t happy to begin with, but our visits are much more enjoyable now as we’re not all crammed into a tiny space, trying to sleep on air beds and being woken by my dad who is apparently incapable of being quiet after the DCs are asleep!

You can't leave a dog in an air b&b so you'd have to take it wherever you go. If the house is too tiny for the existing people, chucking a dog in the mix could make it stressful and not particularly enjoyable for anyone. I'd really leave the dog out of it.

how lovely to let the kids have sleepovers and have some of the evenings to yourself!

100% agree with the suggestion for the kids to have a sleepover and you get some peace in a lovely hotel!

Definitely do it. I'm so tempted to do it with my family even though they technically have space for us all.

I think previous posters have misread "their dog". My family all have dogs that are difficult to stay with too, toddlers and dogs don't mix well when the dog is a novelty to them.

I'd love this if my kids were visiting! In fact we do it the other way round if we visit my daughter. It's much easier all round.