To stay in an AirBnB when visiting my parents?

[3plantpots]

My family live a good 4 hours away and we go to visit fairly regularly- excepting COVID of course. However we have now had second DC and the lack of space in their tiny house is really starting to make it a bit uncomfortable to stay with them. I’m thinking to look for a local AirBnB or similar, with enough bedrooms and space for the kids, it also might mean we could bring the dog which would be a huge bonus as arranging dog care is another hassle with visits at the moment.

However I know thar my mother will be absolutely mortally offended. Also they wouldn’t get to see the kids quite as much as staying in their house. It’s a real shame as they are brilliant with them, adore them and are a huge help. But their house really is impossibly small for 4 adults, 2 children and their dog. Even for a few days :(

Frankly, as a grandmother, I would heave a huge sigh of relief!!
I love my DGC dearly but it would not trouble me for them to be nearby and spend days with them.

I think previous posters have misread "their dog". My family all have dogs that are difficult to stay with too, toddlers and dogs don't mix well when the dog is a novelty to them

I read it as the OP has a dog which she might take with her to the Air B&B. It's not her parents dog.

If you were my kids I'd bite your hands off!

Excellent idea

I read it as the OP has a dog which she might take with her to the Air B&B. It's not her parents dog

Sorry, posted too soon. So the parents will have to put up with a dog in their house, which they're not used to, and will add to the chaos of a tiny house with 4 adults and 2 children. So makes it all worse rather than better.

I always stay in a budget hotel when visiting relatives fwiw. Easier on everybody.

Do posters realise that there is no such thing as a generic "Air BnB" ? It's just a booking company and most people advertise their properties on various sites. I don't understand the blanket hatred for a brand.

Do it!! We were in exactly the same position (incl dog!) when kids were younger & I wish we'd had the strength to tackle the issue with PIL & stay nearby instead of all piling into a small, uncomfortable room with blow up mattresses & various travel cot set ups, for days on end & all getting very grumpy through lack of sleep!!

Kids routines were all out of whack, they were 'hangry' all the time as MIL is so set on meal times, baby/toddler couldn't nap properly & it was SO difficult as MIL was determined that we'd have a lovely family time, but in reality we all just endured it till we could escape home again!

Don't get me wrong - she's a lovely person who just wouldn't hear of us staying elsewhere. It got to the point where we started doing day trips when the kids got older as we physically couldn't all fit in there!! The 5 hour return journey was worth it!!

Neither do I @rookiemere. I think staying in an airbnb, holiday let, hotel etc is an excellent idea. We have done this several times.

OP your mum will just have to suck it up if she wants to see you. You could dress it up as not wanting to inconvenience her.

Please choose a budget (or even better) hotel. Air BnB whilst it may seem ideal is helping to price many people out of being able to buy a house in many places.

Absolutely do this.

My uncle and aunt did the opposite a few years ago - stayed in a Premier Inn near their son's family over Christmas - and it workedso well for everyonethat they now do this every time. Everyone gets downtime, everyone can have their own preferred getting up and bedtimes, everyone knows where they stand, time together is a time to focus on that. Win win win.

We do this when we go to see MIL. She lives at the other end of the country from us so we don't go for short visits. She has a 3 bed terraced house and her grandson was living there too. It got too cramped for all of us and we needed our own space.

There's a good Air BnB in the neighbouring village that we always go to now.
It works really well for a lot of reasons.
We even invite her over for meals so she doesn't have to do all the catering.
Once they were old enough, she had the DC to stay for a sleepover so we got a real break.
And one evening we went to the cinema and she babysat in the Airbnb. She loved it.

For your sanity I would do this. Your DM will be disappointed but you can make it up to her.
BUT - be really careful about picking your house. Get DM to look at it first maybe. We got stung recently with a terrible place and had to leave without getting a holiday.

We switched to staying in a hotel years ago. So much better.

We do this with my parents. They still say we're welcome to stay, but I think they secretly prefer it as we get to do our own thing some days so they can have a rest or do whatever else they have planned. We just said it would be more comfortable for us to have our own space in the evenings to settle DS and relax; there isn't an argument to be had with that in the way there is if you try to dress it up as helping them out.

@rookiemere

Do posters realise that there is no such thing as a generic "Air BnB" ? It's just a booking company and most people advertise their properties on various sites. I don't understand the blanket hatred for a brand.

Because we had a horriffic experience with Airbnb resulting in cancelled bookings after we'd secured flights to meet the dates they could do. Because we were particular about location, the only things left were expensive, who then cancelled on us whilst we were in the air. It created a massive headache. Having used booking.com successfully without all these issues, with the advantage of everything being confirmed immediately, not waiting for some places to accept, I wont go back to them.

Thanks everyone this has made me feel much better that I’m not being awful - and to be brave about the reaction.

To those saying she might actually be relieved, sadly definitely not. My father probably will be in secret! I’m expecting silent treatment, guilt tripping and a bit of passive aggressive comment for good measure but I really think it’ll be better all round. I’m going to use the dog reason first as suggested then keep doing it, they have a dog that goes everywhere with them ( another reason for the cramped house issues) so will get that.

On the question of how many bedrooms, in theory 3. One theirs, one passes as a guest room but when the travel cot is up you can’t move round the room without climbing over the bed, third room is a box room which has a little mattress laid on the floor, it’s usually where the house cats hang out and smells of litter tray no matter how many air fresheners are utilised. One tiny bathroom which you can’t even spread your arms out in with a shower only. Living room you couldn’t lie down in. At the age they are with all the kit it’s just 🤯