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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

University living costs

280 replies

Tevion28 · 15/08/2021 20:52

Hi posting here for traffic but do any of you have dc going off to university this year and will be subsidising them or leaving them to it.
Have found that my ds will have £179 a month left for first 3 months after he has paid his rent. This is supposed to cover food, travel clothes. Whats your experience of any dc you already have at uni.

OP posts:
Howshouldibehave · 16/08/2021 08:56

DC is at university now (second year) and says that whilst you can obviously stay in with mates (like they forcibly did for 80% of the first year due to lockdowns!), going out somewhere (like you say requiring taxis) isn’t cheap and this isn’t an expensive area. The only place they can actually afford to drink in is the Spoons as everywhere else is £4+ a pint. The SU doesn’t even seem to do much that’s cheap-perhaps that will change if September looks more normal.

Socialising at university can be cheap (house parties, going to mates rooms etc). Going ‘out’, especially 3 times a week, generally won’t be.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 16/08/2021 08:57

You don't have to fund his desire for nights out and taxis Hmm.

If he wants that he gets a job to fund it. Does he really need a lot of taxis? Dont most cities have night buses? I never ever got a taxi as a student, it's a very expensive luxury. We did a lot of long walks home and only ever used public transport.

JaceLancs · 16/08/2021 08:57

Both my DC had part time jobs
ExDH gave them some money
I paid for phone contracts, car insurance and the occasional online food shop

Limewine · 16/08/2021 09:02

I’m sure we went out 3 times a week, but they were cheap student places, the student union etc. No taxis home unless we shared. I think the tricky bit with budgeting is timing, my parent were unpredictable when it came to funds - I had to ask and they always paid less after a lot of fuss - so we have been very clear with the dcs and will set up a direct credit to smooth their income flow.

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/08/2021 09:05

Sorry, he’s being completely unrealistic over 3 nights out each week, with taxis. We’re on a good income but couldn’t afford that.
Is he going to get part time work? I worked in a pub and it was like going out.

BevisPatel · 16/08/2021 09:05

Yes, most students work and parents are expected to top up, unless he's entitled to the maximum loan.

katienana · 16/08/2021 09:06

I would rather fund taxis than encourage walking home, its dangerous and I've known people fall asleep on the way home and get hypothermia or worse.
Student nights out can be cheap there are usually offers on drinks for £1.

Howshouldibehave · 16/08/2021 09:08

Student nights out can be cheap there are usually offers on drinks for £1

There were when I was at university 25 years ago, but DC say not any more!

BarbaraofSeville · 16/08/2021 09:12

I think if people are so pissed that they're at risk of falling asleep while walking home after a night out, taxis are unlikely to take them anyway.

I'd expect some effort on the work front from the student. You'd be a bit of a mug to sub them enough so they can afford 3 nights out a week by taxi and at the same time be claiming that they 'don't have time to work'.

Jerseygirl12 · 16/08/2021 09:13

It cost me £5000 to £6000 per year for each DC. One DC had a very part time job whilst at uni and the other had a small business. Their rent (without any food) was £1000 to £2000 more than the maintenance loan.

RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 16/08/2021 09:14

We paid/are paying for their accommodation, phones, cars (not that they are taking them to uni) and they get £250 a month

The first two didnt take out maintenance loans and the third isnt either. The first two didn’t have jobs during term time and the third is planning on getting a job although we’ve told him he doesn’t need to

RufustheBadgeringReindeer · 16/08/2021 09:15

Accommodation is about the £6k mark I think

MrsKeats · 16/08/2021 09:17

We paid their rent and they lived off their loan

Tevion28 · 16/08/2021 09:18

Thanks for input i acknowledge that I'm probably more giving than alot of parents bit of a soft touch I am. I want him to have a good life at uni. Just to ask regarding ds getting a job how the hell do they get one that will work around thier studies as alot ask more specific hours.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 16/08/2021 09:19

Pub work is usually very flexible.

HelloMissus · 16/08/2021 09:19

Most parents top up the loans.
And there is usually work to be had on campus.

HelloMissus · 16/08/2021 09:21

Many second and third year students pick up quite a bit of work in freshers. Showing people around, selling tickets, working the events etc
Mine all made a nice lump sum during that time.

fishonabicycle · 16/08/2021 09:22

I pay my son's accommodation. That leaves the basic loan of around £4,250 which works out about £100 per week while he is away. That's plenty.

justasking111 · 16/08/2021 09:27

All three of my university DCS worked holiday Jobs to pay for extras. With lockdown the money went further the last two years. Term time working is difficult hospitality late nights then 9am lectures, mine gave up his weather spoon job wasn't finished till 3am.

RampantIvy · 16/08/2021 09:32

@BarbaraofSeville

Well I did a chemistry degree on day release so while I only had 60% of the contact time that the full time students did, I worked 30 hours a week for my employer and I ran my own household as I was a mature student with a mortgage.

So on that basis, of course a full time student on a STEM course can work around 10-15 hours a week and most do.

Bully for you. As a mature student you will have had the mental capacity to cope with that. Not all 18 year olds who have left home for the first time, needing to make new friends, probably wanting to socialise with other students more than you will have done etc will be in the same boat as you.

I also think that parents comparing their own student life experiences with now is irrelevant. The world has changed.

It is like comparing apples with oranges.

Theimpossiblegirl · 16/08/2021 09:41

Op, if ever there was a time for your ds to learn a little independence, it is now. They're is no reason why he shouldn't be paying for his own nights out and taxis.

Limewine · 16/08/2021 09:45

I also think that parents comparing their own student life experiences with now is irrelevant. The world has changed. You can't fail to have noticed this - en suites! even single rooms were a luxury only given to mature students. Our kids are a product of their very comfortable upbringing - they have different expectations than we had - we were prepared to rough it - it was seen as part of the experience to be poor for 3 years whilst still managing to have a pretty amazing social life. There's a balance to be had in all things - they need to have the time to study, develop interests and socialise so they can make good friends.
For the first term at least they need to be focusing on getting used to looking after themselves, making friends and adjusting to new studies and expectations - it can be a tough but hopefully exciting time too.

AhNowTed · 16/08/2021 09:46

@RampantIvy

Totally agree.

This thread is like the 3 Yorkshireman sketch.

Aye we lived in a hole in the ground. Hole in the ground? Luxury!!!

RampantIvy · 16/08/2021 10:14

4 Yorkshiremen Grin

pointythings · 16/08/2021 10:19

I give my DDs £350/month on top of their maintenance loan. That is enough for them as neither of them drink and aren't going out types - once a week would be a lot for them. But they're all different. We do get one tier below maximum maintenance loan though as I am a single parent and their dad is no longer alive.