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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP shouted at a mother of a child that pushed DD in the Park

54 replies

ungesundes · 15/08/2021 20:29

DD is almost 2, we took her to the park today and there was another child about 4 or 5 his mum was on her phone.

DD was walking around and the other child goes over and pushes her over, she started crying straight away, I went over to the mum and told her what her child had done but she said he wouldn't have done that and DD probably tripped, DP told her that we were watching her and she didn't trip, she carried on acting as if her DC hadn't done anything, DP then shouted at her that she would've known if she was supervising properly, and went home. She then was tutting and said something as we were leaving.

Were we BU?

OP posts:
dreamingbohemian · 15/08/2021 20:32

Yes I think you were unreasonable! And very aggressive for shouting.

Kids push each other, it's not nice but not worth getting so upset about a one off.

Pottedpalm · 15/08/2021 20:32

A lot of pushing going on today!

Blossomtoes · 15/08/2021 20:33

Not another one, ffs.

BergamotMouse · 15/08/2021 20:34

I think the shouting was completely unnecessary!

Whilst it must have been irritating that she denied such a thing could happen I wouldn't judge her for not watching her child every second.

I'm sure by the time your child is 4 or 5 you will also be guilty of taking your eye off them. I always have an eye on my 2 year old, my 5 year old can handle herself in the playground so I use it as an opportunity for a bit of a break.

WandaVision2 · 15/08/2021 20:34

@Pottedpalm

A lot of pushing going on today!
That was my first thought too, very strange
AlfonsoTheMango · 15/08/2021 20:34

Yes. You were being unreasonable.

danni0509 · 15/08/2021 20:35

What happens when your dd starts going through a hitting phase?

Will your dp be happy to be shouted at?

He’s embarrassed himself to be honest.

WandaVision2 · 15/08/2021 20:35

And if this is genuine, the shouting was unreasonable

Eralos · 15/08/2021 20:35

Yes yes of course you where.

Eralos · 15/08/2021 20:36

Were*

SmidgenofaPigeon · 15/08/2021 20:36

Ooh more pushing.

If he was 5 and she was nearby she doesn’t need to watch like a hawk, she’s allowed to look at her phone ffs.

SoupDragon · 15/08/2021 20:36

Yes, your DP was unreasonable to shout.

vodkaredbullgirl · 15/08/2021 20:36

another shoving post

Toottooot · 15/08/2021 20:37

Did yi aye?

Original poster
ungesundes · 15/08/2021 20:38

@Pottedpalm

A lot of pushing going on today!
What?
OP posts:
itsgettingwierd · 15/08/2021 20:38

@Pottedpalm

A lot of pushing going on today!
I thought this too!

In fact there's a lot of threads with similar themes popping up after initial ones atm.

MonicaGellerHyphenBing · 15/08/2021 20:39

It’s annoying but kids push each other over sometimes and it’ll be your cherub doing it one day too 🤷🏻‍♀️ unless it’s something serious I really don’t see the need for your DP to be so aggressive to someone he’ll probably never see again. And as PP has said once kids get to 5 you don’t need to supervise their every move like you do with toddlers. Overreaction IMO.

Tevion28 · 15/08/2021 20:40

You should have just let it go

PickleAF · 15/08/2021 20:40

How aggressive of your DP! YABU.

Darthwader · 15/08/2021 20:41

4/5 year old pushes child at park.

Middle aged man yells at woman with child in park.

Which sounds harmless?

Maryjane3227 · 15/08/2021 20:41

A lot of 4 or 5 year olds don't push over 2 year old kids. Parents of kids that young shouldn't be staring at a phone rather than checking their child, anymore than they should when they're driving.
Yeah, kids push. But parents are meant to react to it.
Saying get over it, 5 year olds push 2 year olds is unhelpful. You'd never say the same if a 15 year old pushed over a 12 year old.

Maybe it ws rude of your partner to shout, but it's also "rude" of one parent to dismiss another, and to not check their child is playing fair/safe. And you know the woman on the phone possibly knew her child had done it.
Good for your partner. It's not a crime to express anger.

PumpkinKlNG · 15/08/2021 20:42

Are you the woman from the fair 😂 I took my daughter to the fair a couple of years back and a woman came marching over to me to tell me my daughter had “knocked hers down” I explained she was autistic so would have been accidental rather than intentional and wow she flew off the handle at me her and her partner went mental at me screaming and shouting at me calling me all the names under the sun

Viviennemary · 15/08/2021 20:50

Of course he should have shouted at her. Her child shouldn't be attacking younger children and she should be supervising properly not on a mobile phone. Then there would be no need for anyone to shout at her.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/08/2021 20:56

And yet, he could have said the same thing in a normal voice, no?

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/08/2021 20:56

You’re both on about a 4-5 year old child pushing your DD (which yes fair enough isn’t right, I get that) but It’s okay for him to shout at and some may say bully his mother a women on her own. Because I highly doubt your DH would have been so quick to go out shouting like a big tough ‘ard case had her 6ft tall 4ft wide husband had been with her. Sorry to disappoint him though but I don’t think your DH scared her. However that’s not the point she could have been very vulnerable and having a stranger shout at her could have been very traumatic.
Like I said it’s not great but kids push and shove each other all the time.

It’s really not worth shouting and fighting over it. The kids are playing together 5 minutes later and you’re still killing one and other.