DP shouted at a mother of a child that pushed DD in the Park

[ungesundes]

DD is almost 2, we took her to the park today and there was another child about 4 or 5 his mum was on her phone.

DD was walking around and the other child goes over and pushes her over, she started crying straight away, I went over to the mum and told her what her child had done but she said he wouldn't have done that and DD probably tripped, DP told her that we were watching her and she didn't trip, she carried on acting as if her DC hadn't done anything, DP then shouted at her that she would've known if she was supervising properly, and went home. She then was tutting and said something as we were leaving.

Were we BU?

She could have been on her phone texting an important message. Who are we to say otherwise

I’m with your partner. The mum should have been supervising her child better and definitely shouldn’t have flat out denied it when challenged.

It will never be him being shouted at by a more intimidating person will it? It will be you.

When your dc inevitably knocks another child over and you're having a chat or distracted by something and a grown ass man comes and shouts at you.

Then we will see if your DH thinks his actions were reasonable.

Your DP behaved very badly, he could have said what he needed to say in a calm voice, who shouts like that in a children's play area?

Yes what happened to your DD is bloody annoying, it's happened to both my DCs and my DCs have done it to other children, but it is never acceptable for adults to be aggressive, especially when it's a man shouting at a lone woman. I wouldn't be surprised if she lied because she felt vulnerable and intimidated.

"So, where were you on Pushy Sunday then,15th August 2021?"

YANBU - hopefully the other mum learns to supervise her kid

As much as you might feel like shouting, you really can't. So your DP was BU

Of course YWBU.

It happens sometimes with pre schoolers.
It doesn't need to escalate into a shouting match between the adults.
Adults have more control than kids (or should do).

He wasn't unreasonable to say what he did, but he shouldn't have raised his voice.

Bet he wouldn't have shouted at a bloke.

I think he overreacted to be honest, these things happen and usually in the blink of an eye. Yes she should’ve been keeping an eye out but at that age you do sometimes glance at your phone or become distracted.

If someone came up to me in the park and told me my child has pushed another over whilst I wouldn’t deny they did that, I probably wouldn’t punish said child unless I saw it with my own eyes. Maybe she thought you were exaggerating, maybe her child hasn’t done this before?

Lots of different variables, but what your DH absolutely shouldn’t have done was shout at her. I very much doubt he would’ve shouted at another bloke. I bet she was very intimidated, I’d be scared I think of some bloke shouted at me in the park.

YABU kids push sometimes, it isn’t nice. Shouting at the other parent isn’t going to achieve anything.

Usually I would say the other dc(if their parent isn’t dealing with it), that’s not kind, no pushing please and then carry on.

Five year olds don’t need watching in the same way two year olds do, I quite often take a book to the park and enjoy a few chapters while my dc play.

I personally tell other children off. If I see a child doing something that I wouldn't want my child doing, I do tell them off. I hope someone would do the same to my children. It takes a village and all....

So both you and your dp went over to the mother? You completely lost the high ground when you both managed up on her and dp shouted at her.

No you are not being unreasonable. I am sick to death of seeing kids not being watched because a damn phone is more important

Very rude of your DP to shout at her. She could have been on the phone to the doctor, dentist, work, some other important call she couldn’t take later. It sounds odd that a 5 year old would randomly push a 2 year old over for no reason. Are you sure your DD didn’t run up and startle him or he bumped into her by accident?

Kids do push each other. 2 year olds are notorious for running off and tripping people up or walking into people, the boy’s mother probably thought you weren’t watching her.

Shit happens, not really worth getting worked up about. Not sure what you hoped to achieve by confronting the mother. I’d have just left it.

The mother probably got defensive when feeling intimidated by two people acting aggressively.

You have no idea how much interaction she had with her child that day. Mothers are allowed some time off. Her child is five, not two so she doesn’t have to monitor him as closely.

Hope you and your DH can continue to be perfect non-distracted parents for the next 3 years every single time you go to the park. Doubt it though. By the time he’s five, you won’t be taking him to the park as a couple, the novelty would worn off. One will be in the park whilst the other had a break at home or cleans the house.

Pretty rude of her to make light of it when your 2 year old was hurt. I'd say the lad will be a delightful 12 year old *s. But sometimes you have to take a breath and walk away.

There seems to be a lot of partners/husbands pushing women today.

Quite a few bolshy DP’s knocking about today

Is it a full moon ?

@danni0509

What happens when your dd starts going through a hitting phase?

Will your dp be happy to be shouted at?

He’s embarrassed himself to be honest.

From what the OP said, he only shouted after the mother automatically went into "my child would never do whatever it was you said they did" mode.

Perhaps he on the other hand would have the decency to say "She did what? I'm so sorry, I'll talk to her".

I'd be annoyed about being in the phone tbh. You're out with your kids, you don't need to be glued to the phone. She would have seen what had happened & maybe acted differently.

@AnyFucker

Quite a few bolshy DP’s knocking about today

Is it a full moon ?

I thought the same thing but full moon is next Sunday.

.