To think that courts shouldn't give domestic abusers access to children?

[Yuui]

I entirely understand that this is the AIBU section so I might get flamed, but this topic really does bother me.

I know more than one person whose partner seriously physically or sexually abused them and still got given access to their kids. Personally, I just can't see how this is a good idea? I mean, an adult who is happy to beat/rape/ ..etc [insert awful thing here] probably is going to be an unsafe influence on a child, unless there are some incredibly strong mitigating factors. What do the rest of you think about this matter?

I agree, there was a disgusting story in my local newspaper yesterday about an abusive man who was granted access to his ex's medical appointments relating to her pregnancy plus the actual birth when it happens despite the fact he's banned from going near her otherwise! In my opinion, the judge is simply letting him carry on the abuse!

I really feel for you @activesketchers. Unfortunately, for every person coming on here with a story like yours there will be someone who says that the courts and SS will ensure the children are safe, contact can be supervised etc. They just don't realise the reality for many women. Even when there are police records.

In my case we are talking about strangling me not “having an argument” 😑

@FavouriteElephant I've heard of this too. The control doesn't end when the woman leaves, abusers will do anything to keep their power. Sadly many people (courts, friends, etc)do not understand the mindset of abusive men.

I have just found out that my daughters father, who she sees most weekends, is back with his abusive partner. She has physically hit him and left him with large bruises all over him. He also claimed she never cared about his kids and would treat them like second class citizens compared to her own. Now he's back with her and I have said I absolutely do not want our daughter in that environment. He says I am being unreasonable but how can he assure her safety? I feel like he's making me lose my mind again (a common theme when we were together) and making me wonder if I am making too much of it.....I'd really value any input please

I agree but it should also mean verbal and emotional abuse as well because those are just as traumatic and damaging to children.

Exactly. Same as with foster care in some cases. There have been horrific tragedies even fatalities resulting from courts favouring the bio parents regardless of how damaging those parents have been.

Safety of the child and their emotional wellbeing should always be paramount .

@SnoreyDog absolutely . This kind of thing creates complex trauma. 💐💐💐