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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My sil don't buy xmas presents for my stepdaughter? but i do her children is this right?

36 replies

354kidz · 29/11/2007 21:34

I just wondered on other people's opinion that for many yrs now (about 7 now)i have brought my sil children (has 3)xmas's presents (kids from first marriage)but she has never brought a present for my stepdaughter (we have 5 kids altogether) although she don't live with us but we have her every other xmas so this xmas i said i am not buying for her kids as they now live with thier dad and she has said to me i am bang out of order!!!??? as i knew her kids before she married me bro... but my bro knew my stepdaughter since she was born!!!m i being mean here as i dont think i am but would like to hear back from other people please?

OP posts:
Hekate · 29/11/2007 21:36

I would say to her that either everyone buys for all kids, or for none of them, because it is not fair to leave a child out at Christmas.

noonar · 29/11/2007 21:44

354kidz, that is outrageous.

but dont get me started on the subject of fairness at xmas. (see my sil bike thread )

354kidz · 29/11/2007 22:00

well she always puts me down and she slags me off on here god can't win!!

OP posts:
jezzemx · 29/11/2007 22:03
Shock
354kidz · 29/11/2007 22:06
Hmm
OP posts:
noonar · 29/11/2007 22:06

i'm confused

noonar · 29/11/2007 22:07

354kidz, has someone logged on as you??

354kidz · 29/11/2007 22:08

what u mean?

OP posts:
EachPeachPearMum · 29/11/2007 22:10

I think noonar meant its outrageous that she treats you like that 354....

EachPeachPearMum · 29/11/2007 22:12

or rather the children, as its you dsd who misses out.
Christmas is about children after all...

AMerryScot · 29/11/2007 22:13

yabu

Christmas is about giving, not getting.

354kidz · 29/11/2007 22:15

well i'm a kind hearted person but not being made a fool of now i got me own kids to buy for now and getting more expensive now!!

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354kidz · 29/11/2007 22:19

i didn't mind at all buying for them but when thinking about it and now they moved away why should i now when she don't buy for my s daughter as she reminded me in her text that why should she buy for as she not family!!!

OP posts:
noonar · 29/11/2007 22:23

who's slagging you off?? i'm really confused. i was saying that your sil is behaving outrageously.

were you saying I was slagging you off??

354kidz · 29/11/2007 22:25

nooooooooooo my sil slags me off saying im out of order blah blah...

OP posts:
noonar · 29/11/2007 22:27

geez, 354, am not surprised you get crossed wires with your sil

354kidz · 29/11/2007 22:27

ha

OP posts:
fireflyxmasfairylights2 · 29/11/2007 22:35

Does your SIL post on here?

nametaken · 29/11/2007 22:39

354kids as your stepdaughter doesn't live with you do you think it's possible that she doesn't even know your sil doesn't buy her a present. It may not be something she has even thought about, surely she gets plenty of other gifts from other people. Do you really think she feels hard done by not getting this gift from your sil.

Or are you annoyed as a matter of principle because you buy for all your SIL's kids and sil doesn't do the same.

If you wish to buy a child a gift at xmas then go ahead and buy one with grace and dignity - it's about giving after all, not tit-for-tat.

354kidz · 29/11/2007 22:39

yes on mums net as i told her about it!

OP posts:
fireflyxmasfairylights2 · 29/11/2007 22:41

So are you aware that you may be starting a famil row here? As she is bound to recognise you by all the details in your post.

354kidz · 29/11/2007 22:45

my stepdaughter knows her very well and she sit's here at xmas time while her kids open presents from us and ask's us why she dont get a present from her so we say oh must of forgot but then saids u buy for her children knowing they are not "related" as i said before i didn't mind at all buying but not upsetting s/daughter this year god does that make sense?

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354kidz · 29/11/2007 22:48

i'm just asking for people's opinion thats all thats what this site is about

OP posts:
nametaken · 29/11/2007 22:48

Have you thought about getting your kids to open their presents from your sil at a different time, when you stepdaughters gone home perhaps, in order not to hurt her feelings.

They could still open their other presents.

354kidz · 29/11/2007 22:50

could do but bit difficuit when they come for a day and kids wanna open thier presents like now!

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