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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not always want to sit in the back of the car?

46 replies

CookieCrunch123 · 15/08/2021 15:12

My DH has moved DC1s car seat into the front passenger seat of the car which I didn’t have a problem with, as when it’s just the 2 of them they prefer it like that. However, when we go on a family day out now they don’t want to move DC1s seat so I have to sit in the back of the car all the time now. I know they’ll both kick off if I move the seat so l honestly don’t know if AIBU here. It was okay for the odd trip here and there but now it’s become a permanent thing, AIBU to move the car seat and sit in the front passenger seat of the car?

OP posts:
Iggly · 15/08/2021 15:14

Move the seat! You’re one of the parents??? So what if they kick up a fuss.

WorraLiberty · 15/08/2021 15:14

YANBU, just move it.

HelloDulling · 15/08/2021 15:14

Why don’t you drive and let your DH go in the back?

WorraLiberty · 15/08/2021 15:14

@HelloDulling

Why don’t you drive and let your DH go in the back?
You're assuming the OP can drive?
welshweasel · 15/08/2021 15:15

No, it’s perfectly normal to expect, as an adult, to sit in the front. As an aside, assuming child not in a rear facing seat, the front passenger seat is not as safe a place for them to travel. I wouldn’t put a child under 12 there due to the potential for airbag injury.

Wolframhart · 15/08/2021 15:19

A child still in a car seat is too young to be in the front seat. You can check your car seat manual, your vehicle manual, your local child safety website, they will all say the same exact thing.

Original poster
CookieCrunch123 · 15/08/2021 15:21

@Iggly I’ll just get told it’s a lot of hassle just so I can sit in the front and get guilt tripped into just sitting in the back by DH and DC. So wanted to check if IABU first

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 15/08/2021 15:23

[quote CookieCrunch123]@Iggly I’ll just get told it’s a lot of hassle just so I can sit in the front and get guilt tripped into just sitting in the back by DH and DC. So wanted to check if IABU first[/quote]
Then you are in the wrong relationship.

DelphiniumBlue · 15/08/2021 15:23

If you move the seat yourself it’s no hassle for DH. How old is DS that he’s still in a car seat rather than a booster but in the front?
Take charge of your life and don’t be dictated to.

Original poster
CookieCrunch123 · 15/08/2021 15:24

Does anyone have a link to info about children not sitting in the front seat? I’ve only ever seen info about not putting rear facing car seats in the front seat. But even then it said you could do it if you turn the airbag off. DC1 is forward facin in a high back booster seat with the car seat belt.

OP posts:
JSL52 · 15/08/2021 15:25

Move the seat or drive and let your 'd'H sit I the back.
How old is your child that they are dictating to you like this ??
Bloody cheek.

Notaroadrunner · 15/08/2021 15:26

@CookieCrunch123

Does anyone have a link to info about children not sitting in the front seat? I’ve only ever seen info about not putting rear facing car seats in the front seat. But even then it said you could do it if you turn the airbag off. DC1 is forward facin in a high back booster seat with the car seat belt.
That's not difficult or hassle to move to the back seat. Just move it.
icedcoffees · 15/08/2021 15:28

Can you drive?

If so, I would plonk yourself in the drivers' seat and tell your idiot husband DH that he can sit in the back if he wants, but you won't be doing so anymore.

MiloAndEddie · 15/08/2021 15:29

Ffs no you aren’t unreasonable.

How old is your DC that they’d ‘kick off’ and then still get their own way? They’d be given short shrift here

MsVestibule · 15/08/2021 15:30

Moving a high back booster from the front to the back would take about 30 seconds! Can you do it yourself? How old is your son? If either of them object, say 'look, I'm the grown up, I sit in the front, end of discussion'. Unless you put your foot down now, I suspect your opinions and requirements are going to continue to come pretty low in the pecking order.

Is your DH often an arse, or is this a one-off?

Original poster
CookieCrunch123 · 15/08/2021 15:31

I just said I’ll be moving the car seat next time and DH suggested I drive and he sits in the back instead. I’ve called his bluff!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 15/08/2021 15:31

[quote CookieCrunch123]@Iggly I’ll just get told it’s a lot of hassle just so I can sit in the front and get guilt tripped into just sitting in the back by DH and DC. So wanted to check if IABU first[/quote]
How is it a lot of hassle if you're the one moving the seat?

FuckingFlumps · 15/08/2021 15:31

DC1 is forward facin in a high back booster seat with the car seat belt.

How on earth is that any effort at all to move into the back. It's a 2 second job, I'd just put it in the back myself.

notacooldad · 15/08/2021 15:33

I’ll just get told it’s a lot of hassle just so I can sit in the front and get guilt tripped into just sitting in the back by DH and DC. So wanted to check if IABU first
Wtf?
You've got capacity to state your needs and wants.
You're the parent. Your in, or at least should be in an equal partnership so therefore you have a voice to be heard.

A y children kicking off because they are not getting their own way would be told to behave themselves. Entitled cheeky sods!

Original poster
CookieCrunch123 · 15/08/2021 15:33

@MiloAndEddie DC wouldn’t get his own way on his own but if he has DHs agreement it’s a bit harder work for me. I’m going start driving and we’ll see how long DH sits in the back for!

OP posts:
PeterCorbeau · 15/08/2021 15:33

They can kick off all they like - it's bonkers.

tigger1001 · 15/08/2021 15:36

For me, adults sit in the front. Kids only in the front once big enough not to need a car seat, but still in the back if 2 adults in the car. No conversation. No argument.

kittenkipping · 15/08/2021 15:36

I'd refuse even his offer to sit I. The back. Child should be in the safest possible place which is in car seat in the rear!

www.childcarseats.org.uk/choosing-using/positioning-child-car-seats-in-cars/

You can put a car seat in the front, but should only do so if you must. There's really no need in this instance.

mynameisbrian · 15/08/2021 15:39

bollocks to that shit...i hate sitting in the back of the car...i had terrible car sickness as a child and always remember feeling sick when in the back seat. I wouldnt tolerate being told your in the back because your DH cant be arsed moving a car seat. Assuming you drive, then start driving and tell your DH is in the back, if he doesnt like it he can move his DC seat

FuckingFlumps · 15/08/2021 15:44

@PeterCorbeau

They can kick off all they like - it's bonkers.
Indeed. I don't even understand how it became a discussion. Surely when you went out together you would just go to the car, move the seat into the back and sit in the front. It's very odd you ever sat in the back instead of moving the seat.