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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Did I enjoy my break!!

46 replies

hairytoesme · 15/08/2021 13:57

My MIL asked to have my children to stay for two nights. I was working these days so said that was fine.

I dropped the children to her on my way to work on day one and then was asked to collect the children early the morning after them staying the second night.

All absolutely fine but then she messaged me to ask did I enjoy my break!?

Am I missing something as it didn't feel like a break as I was at work!

She does make what I feel are passive aggressive remarks about me having free time which to be honest is rare!

We have limited childcare and rarely have child free nights or days.

Maybe I am hormonal but it really pisses me off!!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 15/08/2021 13:59

Well it was a break from your children wasn't it? Confused

If she hadn't have taken them, you would've had to work and look after your kids.

pinkyredrose · 15/08/2021 14:00

Well surely you weren't at work constantly? You had an evening off from meal prep, bedtimes etc?

Sugarplumfairy65 · 15/08/2021 14:00

But you did get a break in the evenings. Presumably you don't work 48 hour shifts?
Stop fucking moaning. Some people are never happy.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 15/08/2021 14:00

I don't think she is the problem in this case...

Winemewhynot · 15/08/2021 14:01

It was a break from having the children though..unless you work 24hr shifts you would have had some alone time, yes?

frazzledasarock · 15/08/2021 14:02

I’d write back, think you’ve sent that to the wrong person I’ve not had a break been at work. How are you, enjoying your break?

Poptart4 · 15/08/2021 14:02

YABU

Original poster
hairytoesme · 15/08/2021 14:03

Okay point taken that I am being unreasonable

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 15/08/2021 14:03

@frazzledasarock

I’d write back, think you’ve sent that to the wrong person I’ve not had a break been at work. How are you, enjoying your break?
She hasn't had a break from her kids before and after work?
TrashKitten10 · 15/08/2021 14:04

You had a break from the children, even if not from work. Maybe she was being passive aggressive or maybe she was just referencing that even if you're working, it's nice to just get home and relax, not pick them up from childcare, do their dinners, clean up after them, bath them and put them to bed. Depending on how old they are, children still add a lot of 'work' either end of the actually work day.

If she's willing to have them a couple of nights can't you suggest she has them over a weekend so you can have a proper break?

imaginethemdragons · 15/08/2021 14:07

It would irritate me too op and I would comment back that it wasn’t a break as I was working but thanks for having the kids anyway as it really really helps.

WorraLiberty · 15/08/2021 14:08

Honestly some women can't do right for doing wrong

Well when I say 'women', I mean MILs obviously Hmm

frazzledasarock · 15/08/2021 14:08

@WorraLiberty I wouldn’t feel like I’d had a break if someone took my two for two nights whilst I was at work.

I’d probably actually miss them.

Would be break if I were actually away and not working though.

Mine aren’t really much work though between DH & I 🤷🏻‍♀️

OverByYer · 15/08/2021 14:08

Massive overreaction OP

Original poster
hairytoesme · 15/08/2021 14:09

She does not have the children often, maybe twice a year if that.

My partner and I work opposite shifts to allow us to manage childcare with me working at weekends too.

I guess I am just a bit burnt out after the last nearly eighteen months and would have really enjoyed a day to myself but I appreciate I am being unreasonable.

OP posts:
Babyroobs · 15/08/2021 14:14

Is she one of these older women that barely worked throughout her life?

WorraLiberty · 15/08/2021 14:17

@hairytoesme

She does not have the children often, maybe twice a year if that.

My partner and I work opposite shifts to allow us to manage childcare with me working at weekends too.

I guess I am just a bit burnt out after the last nearly eighteen months and would have really enjoyed a day to myself but I appreciate I am being unreasonable.

So arrange a day's annual leave when she has them?
Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 15/08/2021 14:18

It was great! And the kids absolutely loved staying with you, they want to know when they can come back? Thank you so much! xx

Make the most of it....

emsyj37 · 15/08/2021 14:19

I would definitely consider being child free for 2 nights a big treat, even if I was working!! If you wanted a day to yourself, you could have taken a day's leave?? But I would think an evening to myself, perhaps dinner out or a takeaway and no bedtime duties would be bliss.

Original poster
hairytoesme · 15/08/2021 14:21

She did work but very part time when her children were small.

I work full time in a fairly stressful role.

It's never planned much in advance when she will have them.

I generally leave it to her to ask for them.

My annual leave is booked at least 6/9 months in advance.

Anyway school goes back soon abs maybe I will get a few hours to myself at some point.

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 15/08/2021 14:26

It will just be an off the cuff saying from your Mil, so don't dwell on things like this. !

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/08/2021 14:28

Just a comment, let it go, as you’ve acknowledged.

NoProblem123 · 15/08/2021 14:33

I’d also feel a bit Hmm
But in the grand scheme of things Let it Go ❄️

HalloHello · 15/08/2021 14:46

@hairytoesme

She did work but very part time when her children were small.

I work full time in a fairly stressful role.

It's never planned much in advance when she will have them.

I generally leave it to her to ask for them.

My annual leave is booked at least 6/9 months in advance.

Anyway school goes back soon abs maybe I will get a few hours to myself at some point.

A few hours to yourself? You've had 2 full evenings to yourself!!! Did you not make the most of them? I would have opened a bottle of wine, got a takeaway, film on, bath, pamper, just not have to do kids dinners, baths, bed is a break, and a treat especially if it's not often. You sound very ungrateful. It's not your MIL fault that your job is stressful and full time.
Winemewhynot · 15/08/2021 14:50

A few hours to yourself? You've had 2 full evenings to yourself!!! Did you not make the most of them? I would have opened a bottle of wine, got a takeaway, film on, bath, pamper, just not have to do kids dinners, baths, bed is a break, and a treat especially if it's not often. You sound very ungrateful. It's not your MIL fault that your job is stressful and full time

Fully agree! Not having to listen out for them in the night abs being able to sleep soundly would be a break to me 😂