Did I enjoy my break!!

[hairytoesme]

My MIL asked to have my children to stay for two nights. I was working these days so said that was fine.

I dropped the children to her on my way to work on day one and then was asked to collect the children early the morning after them staying the second night.

All absolutely fine but then she messaged me to ask did I enjoy my break!?

Am I missing something as it didn't feel like a break as I was at work!

She does make what I feel are passive aggressive remarks about me having free time which to be honest is rare!

We have limited childcare and rarely have child free nights or days.

Maybe I am hormonal but it really pisses me off!!

Did you thank her for your break?

Your being very ungrateful. Two evenings without children is lovely, and very hard work for her. Send her some flowers .

I did thank her for having them.

I work 12.5 hour shifts so did not have time for a take away or much else unfortunately.

I agree I choose to work full time abs I love my job so I will not change that.

As the children get older it will be easier I hope!

Gosh being a MIL a is so hard . I don’t think she meant that . Of course it’s a break if you are not working and juggling childcare at the same time .

Sounds like a perfect reasonable text to me.

I would have seen that as a break. You had two evenings "off'. Pure luxury when you have young children.

I think OP is getting a hard time here. If she works 12.5 hour shifts, with travel time, she could easily be out of the house 7.30am to 9pm. Not much time to take a break. Obviously a 9-5.30 wfh job would be something else entirely.

@Babyroobs

Is she one of these older women that barely worked throughout her life?

Judgey much?

I think OP is getting a hard time here. If she works 12.5 hour shifts, with travel time, she could easily be out of the house 7.30am to 9pm. Not much time to take a break. Obviously a 9-5.30 wfh job would be something else entirely
But she's had a break from child routines after and before work. I would have enjoyed that from time to time.
I'm not seeing anything P a on the comment at all
🤷‍♀️

You did have a break from your children. Are there other issues with mil?

I appreciate the different perspectives given.

I am being unreasonable and maybe should have appreciated the "break" more.

MIL is great but at times I feel can be passive aggressive but I mostly do not rise to it.

It's been the holidays here in Scotland and I think I'm just worn out from either having the children or being at work.

I am fairly introverted and need time to myself to recharge, possibly that makes me selfish.

I work for the NHS and have worked throughout COVID whilst juggling children and home schooling and really feel I've hit my limit, much like most others I imagine.

I will make more effort to appreciate the support from my MIL when it is given.

Sounds like she didn’t think you appreciated her taking them for two nights (working or not, I think many would kill for this) and having a break from parenting during that period.

Yabvu

Say yes thank you for having them - not hard!

She was making small talk - she meant did you go out for dinner, to the cinema or perhaps a walk just the 2 of you! It's a break from the kids after all

Seen your update OP. Fair enough. Seems like MIL sees how tiring it is for you hence offering to take them for two nights so you could recharge. She was passive aggressive in trying to get you to seems a bit more grateful but she did a very helpful thing so deserves appreciation.

*maybe she was
(Based on you saying she is passive aggressive)

I'd text and say that you enjoyed the break from The Gruffalo at bedtime, and perhaps next time you could time it for when you and your partner both have a day off 😀
If family take dc 'to give you a break' then ideally it needs to be two nights - one to get over whatever it is you need to get over whether work or kids, a whole day to do whatever, then a night of rollicking fun whether that's boxsetting on the sofa or reacquainting yourselves with other other 😉.

Well blimey there are some sanctimonious posters on here. Some of the pp’s obviously find their kids hard work, that’s all I can assume. I don’t think YABU at all and tbh, I think a lot of them are being disingenuous.

@Passmethefrazzles

Well blimey there are some sanctimonious posters on here. Some of the pp’s obviously find their kids hard work, that’s all I can assume. I don’t think YABU at all and tbh, I think a lot of them are being disingenuous.

🙄

It was a break from the usual kids and work combo and a completely normal thing to ask.

@hairytoesme

I appreciate the different perspectives given.

I am being unreasonable and maybe should have appreciated the "break" more.

MIL is great but at times I feel can be passive aggressive but I mostly do not rise to it.

It's been the holidays here in Scotland and I think I'm just worn out from either having the children or being at work.

I am fairly introverted and need time to myself to recharge, possibly that makes me selfish.

I work for the NHS and have worked throughout COVID whilst juggling children and home schooling and really feel I've hit my limit, much like most others I imagine.

I will make more effort to appreciate the support from my MIL when it is given.

So...

1. You're worn out from 'either having the children or being at work'
2. She took the kids for 2 nights so you had two evenings in a row when you were neither of those things, and didn't have to think about the juggles of having kids home in the school holidays
3. You were so horrified by the audacity of her assuming this was a break that you even posted here

Honestly, some people don't know they're born.