He's checking out women half his age

[Malldelly]

I was shopping with my partner of 3 years the other day. I come around the end of the aisle, he's at the other end and hasn't seen me yet, and a woman no older than early twenties maybe even younger and wearing a very short skirt is walking towards him. He eyes her up and down. It was so obvious that even I notice it from the other end of the aisle. He's 41 years old and all his previous girlfriends have been much younger, I feel old and this definitely doesn't help. I had it out with him, he thinks he's done nothing wrong, that men notice women but I feel like it was so obvious he was checking her out he might as well have handed her his phone number. Who's being unreasonable here?

I also am unsure of the answer to this. He didn’t know you were there, and quite frankly men do eye up attractive women In skimpy clothing. It doesn’t mean he prefers her.

If I caught my husband doing this, I’d just be like oi perv, and laugh it off. I suspect your insecurity is making this worse. No one is saying you need to compete with twenty year olds.

@Cazzovuoi

I saw a study that said women find men who are 2 to 5 years in age attractive.

Men find women aged 20 to 25 attractive no matter how old they are.

Men are mostly disgusting

Women find men who are 2 to 5 years in age attractive?

Thats worse, they are only children!

Most men make an effort not to stare at women, but occasionally monkey brain takes over when tired, bored, distracted - even for nearly always civilised decent men. In general, men tend to be more strongly attracted to women on a purely visual level than vice versa so they have to make more of an effort not to stare, and occasionally forget/get lazy.

@SuperSketchy
The very obvious oggling is a power play
Depends if the woman/person being stared at is aware. If they are aware it’s very rude and uncivilised to purposefully make someone uncomfortable/feel threatened. If they aren’t aware it could be totally harmless.

Oh gosh not the men are visual creatures nonsense again. Women have eyes. They know when someone is attractive!

[quote supermoonrising]@SuperSketchy
The very obvious oggling is a power play
Depends if the woman/person being stared at is aware. If they are aware it’s very rude and uncivilised to purposefully make someone uncomfortable/feel threatened. If they aren’t aware it could be totally harmless.[/quote]
If the person bring ogled is aware or if there are other people around as well. In a public place perhaps, such as a supermarket. It is done to prove they can. A classic male willy waving exercise.

You see it in a different way when women are not leering at, but are judging someone else's outfit for being too revealing or just not nice. The up and down look with head movement is for other people's benefit.

@FloFloFloFloFlo
Of course. But we’re talking about degrees. Eg, most people would on here would agree that, generally speaking, women tend to have a stronger caring emotion/instinct toward babies and v.small children. It doesn’t mean that an average man doesn’t also experience this.

@supermoonrising fair enough but I often find that the ‘men are visual’ quite is used to silence women into accepting unacceptable behaviour from men.

The thing is op. You can stop him doing it in front of you, which clearly eh tries not to and this time he thought you weren’t about. But you can’t stop him thinking about these women or doing it when you’re not there.

@Malldelly

It's more the fact that she's probably young enough to be his daughter

Christ, I have a good look at attractive guys young enough to be my grandson! There’s nothing wrong with looking.

@supermoonrising

Most men make an effort not to stare at women, but occasionally monkey brain takes over when tired, bored, distracted - even for nearly always civilised decent men. In general, men tend to be more strongly attracted to women on a purely visual level than vice versa so they have to make more of an effort not to stare, and occasionally forget/get lazy.

This must be the biggest pile of bullcrap I've ever read. Hilarious

Firstly I doubt very much indeed if he could get an attractive woman in her early 20s, at least not easily. That is very young indeed, and from my experience of women in this age group, who refer to men around age 30 who are ogling them as 'pervy old men' he would be very lucky to find his attraction reciprocated.
Secondly, yes, I'm sure men his age find women thst age attractive. However, there is never an excuse for staring at women, and anyone with a partner should out of respect make sure their attraction to anyone else stays in the privacy of their own head, and is never obvious, unless that's ok in their relationship.

I think all men look, some may be better at hiding it though. There’s been times when I’ve noticed my husband looking at someone and even I think they’ve looked stunning, so a man is definitely going to notice. If he ever tried to get her attention, talk to her, chat her up etc that’s crossing the line and I couldn’t forgive. I don’t think you have anything to worry about as long as he isn’t talking to other women.

Think there's a difference between noticing - l would notice a woman in a very short skirt because it's not that common..or l would look at a passing dog or horse etc because it's different..and actually looking at her like she is a piece of meat.

Kinda sounds like the latter.