OH workout/Excerise

[Langy654321]

My OH has throughout Covid got the excercise bug - which was great during Lockdowns as it gave us another area of release and there was more than enough time.
Now things are opened up and more commitments to socialising (family and friends) OH still wants to keep up the fitness which is fine but he is only allowing one day off. He works full time 3 days a week (shift worker) so these days I do not see him at all until very late at night.

I asked if we could have one family day off from it (weekend) and one week day off -and he said no, only one day.

His idea is to run in the morning or evening on his days off, followed by up half an hour intense core cardio.
To be honest he dropped the cardio after at least one run it would feel a bit more of a compromise.
But it has to be run, core work out x 3 days a week plus 3 days work
His work is intense, lots of walking/lifting and he says it’s for his mental health, but surely the run is suffice enough on most days, the need for added core work out ontop strikes me as a vanity project? I know most people will say I’m acting insecure but It’s more his reluctance to compromise and his insistence which is grating me more than anything.

AIBU?

Exercise three days a week is perfectly reasonable. I personally can't imagine finding any issue with one's partner taking steps to make themselves fitter and happier. And the bonus for you will be him getting a nice body out of it.

I exercise every day religiously and wouldn’t stop. It’s for my health. I change what I do so if I’m tired it might just be a dog walk and yoga. It’s unfair of you to stop him doing something that he enjoys and is beneficial for him

Exercising for three days a week isn't signs of an addiction. Being tired after exercise isn't an addiction.

I exercise more than that a week and I'm a fat bastard. Combination of cardio and core/resistance stuff. If I lived somewhere that I could start or end my days with a run along a beach, you'd have to chain me to the sofa to keep me inside. A city centre park just isn't the same.

What he is doing is absolutely perfect - running for protecting bone density (men get osteoporosis as well), heart health, fat loss, mixture of steady state and higher intensity depending upon how fast he runs and whether he breaks it up with speed drills - weights/core work to protect his back, increase his strength, reduce the likelihood of injury from running or at work - the duration of his sessions is quite short in that respect, so he isn't taking the piss there in the slightest. The 3 days at work are effectively light days in that he's walking and not lifting in a very short period of time, it's spread out through the day.

It's far better for him to be doing something that is great for mental health and stress reduction that physically benefits him at the same time than to be slumped in front of the TV with too many beers and a takeaway every night.

What you do need, though, is to put the Mum guilt aside and carve out some time for yourself, especially as you're interested in exercising, too. He's around more than most people who work fulltime, as that would be five to six days a week, so you could, for example, have him do evenings with the DC whilst you do something you want to do.

It sounds more about you wanting a ‘day date’ that isn’t interrupted by exercise. 3 lots of exercise in a week isn’t excessive at all, and there’s no reason he couldn’t do it early morning and then spend time with you and the kids for the rest of the day.

If you've got young kids then it's good that he's keeping healthy - there will be plenty of active things kids will love doing with a parent. I get the impression you don't like exercise and think it's unnecessary. 90mins three times a week isnt a lot at all. Most people spend double that time watching TV or scrolling online.

I would ask he does his run and cardio first thing in the morning. You then have the rest of the day together to do family activities

@Langy654321

Hi April - thanks for the reply - he excercises 3 days a week on his days off, but works 3 days a week ontop (shift worker, long days)

Has one ‘free day’ - no work or excercise

My concern is that 3 full days work, up to 2 hours excercise on his 3 days off are making him overly tired and could be a possible addiction if not treaded carefully.

😂😂😂😂

YABVU - I do 1.5 hours EVERY morning (and sometimes double session) plus shower (as just normal in our household 🤔)
There is still plenty of time left to do things with my family! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Your post is quite bizarre!

OP, why don't you spend a similar amount of time per day doing something for you that you love? Leave the kids with him for that time and enjoy yourself!

Also enjoy his gym bod!

@Langy654321

Hi April - thanks for the reply - he excercises 3 days a week on his days off, but works 3 days a week ontop (shift worker, long days)

Has one ‘free day’ - no work or excercise

My concern is that 3 full days work, up to 2 hours excercise on his 3 days off are making him overly tired and could be a possible addiction if not treaded carefully.

But based on the timings you have it's 45 minute run, 30 cardio. 1 and 1/4 hours not two

Many people work and hit the gym for an hour 5 or 6 days a week.

Your husband is only doing 3 days exercise.

I presume he works in distribution 12 hour shifts (10.5 working, 1.5 break times) lots walking and potentially lifting (which I presume is why he chooses not to exercise on those 3 days)

I don't think it's fair to stop him if he's enjoying it (and it will be good for him), however I would suggest he sticks to his one day off, and for the other day you wat, he does early and back for breakfast and day with you, or he does late after kids in bed. That way you still get your full day together and he still gets his exercise fix

To me it doesn't actually sound like that much exercise.. (also as a side note he really need to mix up his training and running every day is not great for the joints) but 1-2 hours a day seems quite normal to me. But then again my partner was a pro athlete when I met him and still trains hard while having a physical job Mon to Fri.
As a PT I would say he needs at least one if not two complete rest days (from work and training) to allow his body to recover. His inflexibility is a bit weird though, if he had an event or something to train for then fine, but if it's just a hobby I feel he should be able to be flexible with it. Like if you were going out for the day get up at 6 and then he's done by 8. He sounds a bit obsessed, is he the same with his diet? I've gone through phases of this before.

It's actually pretty healthy for your kids to see DH workinh out? Better than being on the Xbox/watching telly?

I've just reread, so he's only doing exercise 3 days a week? Yeah that's not much at all, I think you WBU to ask him to stop or even scale down his training as in the grand scheme of things 6 hours a week exercise isn't much!

There's something else at play here: this isn't about him exercising. Or, if it is, it's what this change means for you.

What does he do the rest of the days off work with the other approx 12-14hrs he is awake? (I'm assuming a generous 8-10hrs sleep a night)

I'm confused how 2hrs in a day seems to be wiping out the whole day as far as you are concerned?

I really don't think he's overdoing it? And he's a grown man surely it's up to him to decide if he is?

I have a dog who I walk a minimum of 2hrs a day, plus horses who need exercising several times a week, which as a round trip is usually 3-4 hrs ish a time.

I work full time (5 days a week 9-5) and have 2 kids aged 8 and 11

Yes I'm generally knackered but I fit it round having quality time with the kids and my OH and I'm happy with my routine.

In the nicest possible way, you sound a little overbearing

I workout more than that in a week and also work full time and have pre school kids. U think you're worrying too much