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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU – to object to colleague’s constant sharing of videos of their nephew?

57 replies

clary · 13/08/2021 23:25

I have a young colleague who has a nephew (her brother’s child) and she loves him dearly. That’s great. But she is constantly showing pictures and videos of this child (who seems perfectly sweet and a normal 4yo). I am talking a three-minute video of an 18mo taking steps or a 2yo saying something vaguely comprehensible, or a toddler not very interested in an expensive toy.

I get that she is besotted, and so are her parents (only grandchild) but I am not. I have never met Oliver, nor his dad, and while I am sure they are lovely people, I am fed up with the endless videos.

We have mostly been working remotely but a few weeks ago we were in the office together – she seized the chance to catch me up on many many videos of Oliver and his latest amazing achievements. Oh my god please let me get on with my work! But no, I need to watch yet another video of a pre-schooler doing the stuff that all pre-schoolers do.

AIBU to be fed up with this? Should she not have some basic understanding of manners and common politeness? Is it not frankly rude to insist on your work colleagues watching endless dull videos of a child they have never met and never will meet, doing very very ordinary things?

I realise I have posted in AIBU and I am ready to be told I am and I need to suck it up btw. I genuinely want to know if this would annoy others.

OP posts:
AmyFl · 13/08/2021 23:28

Yes, that sounds a bit over the top, isn't there a manager telling her to get on with her work?

Hekatestorch · 13/08/2021 23:29

I always think this sort of stuff is part of office life.

I can fein interest in Petes I pad art that he does at lunch time. Or my team members sons proposal, or my bosses story of how he spent his weekend.

But I suppose it how often and how much of the day she expects people to be interested.

I don't like anyone at work knowing much about my personal life so don't share too much. They don't even know I am engaged 🤣

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 13/08/2021 23:31

Is she holding a gun to your head? As otherwise why don’t you just say sorry I have work to do?

Onlinedilema · 13/08/2021 23:33

Do you have a pet? Can you film them doing normal animal stuff such as sleeping?
When your colleague shows you get footage say oh let me show you Snuggles. Here he is look, sleeping. Now here he is on our daily walk, err walking, isn't he divine?

Imcatmum · 13/08/2021 23:35

I think all you can do is deflect, give the video a glance and say 'aw yeah very cute. Hey are you joining that meeting at 3?' and don't get caught in staring at the video for ages. Be polite but don't let her hold the narrative.

Redcrayons · 13/08/2021 23:37

I sympathise,I once watched 20 minutes of my colleague’s daughters Dance show because I’m too nice to say No.

MsTSwift · 13/08/2021 23:50

She sounds very dim. Has she no self awareness?

Whatinthelord · 13/08/2021 23:54

Yea it would annoy me. Just be directish and tell her “it lovely to see his videos but I really need to get on with work so I can finish up xyz before leavening” then walk off.
Do that enough and she’ll get the picture w

Original poster
clary · 13/08/2021 23:56

Ah I think she is a bit lacking in self awareness to be fair. I like the idea of filming my pet, but unfortunately I don't have one, just some surly teenagers!

There is no manager there as we are on a rota of two people in at a time. In fact the two of us are only rarely in now IYSWIM - this latest time was only about the third time I have seen her in 18 months. So, pandemic - small mercies eh?

She's nice really, just my heart sinks when she gets her phone out. I suppose I need to say oooh I have an MS Teams meeting about to start but I'm not very good at that.

OP posts:
Bootskates · 14/08/2021 00:22

I like the idea of filming my pet, but unfortunately I don't have one, just some surly teenagers!

Oh definitely film them Grin "here is Ryan on his Xbox how sweet!" Oh and here is Megan putting her make up on! So precious"

KrisAkabusi · 14/08/2021 00:26

@WorkingItOutAsIGo

Is she holding a gun to your head? As otherwise why don’t you just say sorry I have work to do?
This. Woman up and tell her you're busy.
Original poster
clary · 14/08/2021 00:31

I'm not very good at that tho - seems a bit rude. Mind you I think she is being rude too...ok, next time I will say "oh sorry, I have a meeting, show me later?"

OP posts:
Original poster
clary · 14/08/2021 00:32

@Bootskates lol Grin

OP posts:
PurpleSapphire · 14/08/2021 01:21

I used to work with one like this but it was endless cat videos. Now I love cats, have had many but she was so irritating. She would log into her social media in the background, all day, every day and would suddenly burst into loud laughter at random intervals, rocking on her chair slapping the desk type laughter. I didn't mind having a chat while I was photocopying or something that requires no concentration but she wouldn't even shut up when she could see I was doing bits to send to payroll (it's only someone's wages, no biggie if I cock them up then?).
She didn't actually have to work as bank of mum and dad funded everything and she saw having a job as a bit of fun, she was harmless enough but lazy when it came to actually..doing..work.

Susannahmoody · 14/08/2021 01:27

Do the teen thing. Moody teens, watching YouTube

She'll be like Wtf Confused and never bother you again

Astella22 · 14/08/2021 04:05

@clary

I'm not very good at that tho - seems a bit rude. Mind you I think she is being rude too...ok, next time I will say "oh sorry, I have a meeting, show me later?"
Now why on earth would u end with ‘show me later’ when u clearly have no interest. Perhaps you need to be a little more clear with the poor girl instead of faking interest.
BringOnTheOtherWorlders · 14/08/2021 04:12

I think it's kind of sad she is overly invested in her nephew. What is she doing with her own life?

douliket · 14/08/2021 04:33

Very very annoying
Simple solution
Her: oh look at this video of Oliver holding a spoon
You: oh just a quick glance as I am a nervous wreck since I overheard Boss last week telling someone about how phone use in office needs to be clamped down and that it will be watched

This or something similar to suit your situation x

SaltySheepdog · 14/08/2021 04:47

Keep your viewing short, look at it for 4 seconds like you would a photo, say wow Oliver is sweet, better get on with my work

Amdone123 · 14/08/2021 04:55

She has no self awareness. I take lots of photos of my granddaughter and video her dancing etc, but I don't show them to everyone. Just the people ( her grandad, aunties) ; those who are interested.
Just smile , a quick glance then walk away. She needs telling.

pictish · 14/08/2021 05:09

Yanbu. Overbearing and dull. I cba with this either.
I spent a year working with a woman who was lovely but who was obsessed with her (grown up) daughter. We had to listen to a blow by blow account of Jennifer’s life daily, including what Jennifer had for dinner what Jennifer did at the weekend and what Jennifer bought in IKEA, what Jennifer wore to lunch out…as well as being shown photos on her phone of all of it. She was completely oblivious to the fact that no one gave a fuck.
Did my head in.

Moiraroseswigs · 14/08/2021 05:36

I had this previously but with lengthy videos of a colleague's brother's dog! Confused I used to give a cursory glance for a second and then "ah isn't he lovely, I best get on with xyz".

gemloving · 14/08/2021 05:40

[quote clary]@Bootskates lol Grin[/quote]
I'm German and have lived in England for so long. This story sounds SO British - too polite to say something. She doesn't even know you're not interested, just say something or tell her you need to get on with work. If you can't, just watch the videos Grin

pictish · 14/08/2021 06:12

I actually love the idea of filming your own pets/kids doing mundane tasks and showing it to the nephew-bore colleague. Ha ha!

Wish I’d thought of that with my former colleague with the Daily Jennifer. A similar mind numbing account of my kids’ existence. Not that I would have got a chance…there was just too much news about Jennifer. Is that a new top? Jennifer bought a top a few days ago. Look.

Pottedpalm · 14/08/2021 07:34

I get this with some of my friends who have grandchildren. Usually will have barely sat down at coffee venue when the phone comes out and photos shown. I don’t mind that so much as I like an update on how people’s families are doing. Any attempt to move on, having scrolled through 30 odd photos is resisted though; ‘Oh just look! This is a video of Dilan at his first Toddler Rugby session! He’s so quick!’ Video of a dozen toddlers in puddle suits on a muddy bit of park grass. .. How do you say ‘enough now!’ without causing offence. Trying to change the subject doesn’t work, and there is no work excuse. I find I’m avoiding meets now as it’s just so boring.