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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who is being unreasonable?

32 replies

Lkayte · 13/08/2021 21:56

Hi.

Bit of background I’ve been speaking to/ seeing this guy for a little while. Everything seemed fine and we was getting on well together.

We arranged on Wednesday that we would meet up tonight and that he would come round to mine for the first time. I hadn’t heard from him at all so I messaged him at 8pm asking if he was still coming. He didn’t reply till 9:10pm saying yes he would of said if he didn’t want to come. I was quite annoyed because I hadn’t heard back from all day and then he replied late.

He said after that anyway it’s late now (but he was the one that messaged me at that time) and saying I’ve let him down massively and he wished he had kept his mouth shut and kept himself to himself like he usually does and not carried on talking to me. He told me not to message him again.

Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
ParityJ · 13/08/2021 21:58

He is. Massively

Caffeinemonster · 13/08/2021 21:59

Ffs. Do you really need to ask?

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 13/08/2021 21:59

Eh? Of course yanbu.

He sounds like a massive arse, he has done you a favour by showing his true colours now.

Standrewsschool · 13/08/2021 21:59

He is rude, not you.

Original poster
Lkayte · 13/08/2021 22:00

No you’re right I shouldn’t need to ask! I’m just shocked really. He said I’ve wasted his time and all sorts

OP posts:
southernbelles · 13/08/2021 22:03

I don't understand really 😬 are you saying he feels you've let him down because you asked if he was still coming over?!

AnnaSW1 · 13/08/2021 22:06

He was never coming. This is just bluster to cover over that. Block him.

PicaK · 13/08/2021 22:26

He was coming for a shag not to talk. Or he'd forgotten and was covering.
Not what you need.
Yanbu
Block and move on

liveforsummer · 14/08/2021 10:34

Did you make set arrangements of a time etc when you arranged it or were details still needing finalised? Perhaps you were both sitting there waiting for the other to message and confirm so for that you'd both be a bit U. However his reaction was very U. Looks like you've had a lucky escape

Nobloat21 · 14/08/2021 10:35

Hard work.

Mmicro · 14/08/2021 12:52

I don’t even understand what he possibly has to be mad about. Good riddance. Run away from him.

HalloHello · 14/08/2021 13:05

Maybe he was waiting for you to text him sooner than 8pm to arrange your evening? Not that his reaction is correct but it might be that he's sat at home all day waiting for you to message him, and he's gotten his knickers in a twist and talked himself out of seeing you? He is still in the wrong in his reaction, and could have easily texted you earlier too.

WhereHasAllTheYogurtGone · 14/08/2021 13:13

In your paragraph based on his words, I cannot for the life of me work out what the fuck he is banging on about but seems to be having a right go at you over you having even a very small expectation of him.

He sounds like a gaslighting nice guy/MGTOW/neck beard/INCEL/misogynistic prick.

Get away...fast...and bloody well stay away.

HollowTalk · 14/08/2021 13:16

You'd have to go to an incel forum to find someone who'd find you in the wrong on this one, OP. You'd probably find this guy on there, too.

Get away from his as fast as you can.

Topseyt · 14/08/2021 13:53

He is showing you what he is really like.

crikey456 · 14/08/2021 14:04

He sounds nuts, but I wonder if he was waiting for you to message before 8pm? Maybe he wound himself up thinking you weren't going to get in touch. Would've been quite easy for him to text first mind.

Either way, he sounds pretty hard work and if he can be this pissed off so soon then I'd hate to see what he's like a few months down the line!

Hyppogriff · 14/08/2021 14:13

Bin him straight away

DroopyClematis · 15/08/2021 00:53

Please block him.
Else you'll have a lifetime of gaslighting.

MurielSpriggs · 15/08/2021 01:02

Is this something that my generation would not understand - that all arrangements and appointments are provisional unless and until confirmed by text on the day? Whatever was said on Wednesday he wasn't confident that it was actually a plan and was expecting to hear from you sometime earlier than 8pm. He's insecure and didn't want to send you a message asking. I don't know, I'm guessing because you've provided very little to go on, but it all sounds like hard work, and I think it's not worth worrying about.

KarmaStar · 15/08/2021 08:31

He was on a booty call but found another option.
Thank your guardian Angel and block him.
Permanently.

Magicstars · 15/08/2021 08:33

He’s weird. If he changes his mind & gets back in touch tell him to jog on.

StCharlotte · 15/08/2021 08:33

@HollowTalk

You'd have to go to an incel forum to find someone who'd find you in the wrong on this one, OP. You'd probably find this guy on there, too.

Get away from his as fast as you can.

Sadly in light of recent events, that was my first thought.
IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 15/08/2021 08:33

He's a twat.

Apeirogon · 15/08/2021 08:36

I don't understand. How does he think you've let him down?

Splann · 15/08/2021 08:36

How have you let him down? By texting him to see if he is coming? Or am I missing something?

He sounds really awful.