Who is being unreasonable?

[Lkayte]

Hi.

Bit of background I’ve been speaking to/ seeing this guy for a little while. Everything seemed fine and we was getting on well together.

We arranged on Wednesday that we would meet up tonight and that he would come round to mine for the first time. I hadn’t heard from him at all so I messaged him at 8pm asking if he was still coming. He didn’t reply till 9:10pm saying yes he would of said if he didn’t want to come. I was quite annoyed because I hadn’t heard back from all day and then he replied late.

He said after that anyway it’s late now (but he was the one that messaged me at that time) and saying I’ve let him down massively and he wished he had kept his mouth shut and kept himself to himself like he usually does and not carried on talking to me. He told me not to message him again.

Who is being unreasonable?

Yes you let him down by expecting him to show up as arranged

Bin and run

Hang on, you didn’t message him either to confirm, as you invited him he was probably expecting you to let him know the plan and was annoyed you left it so late to message.

@Splann

How have you let him down? By texting him to see if he is coming? Or am I missing something?

He sounds really awful.

Very often on AIBU where something doesn't make a lot of sense and the information provided is patchy it's because bits are being left out which don't favour the original poster! But in this case I don't think it much matters it sounds like both parties should move on.

I suppose I would normally have sent a text say lunchtime Friday to say "looking forward to later, anytime around 8 okay, check he has address and maybe ask him to pick up some wine whatever"

Just a sort of confirmation it's still on but with the assumption that of course it's still on (but he can cancel if he wants"

But he sounds very odd from his texts. Who thinks a Friday night date starts after 9pm? Bar a booty call!

You would be unreasonable to continue trying to have a relationship with this man. He is disrespectful and entitled. Move on.

Really hope you’re not planning on any further contact with this person.

Sounds like he was waiting for you to get in touch with him- had you already agreed a time that you were expecting him round? Maybe he was waiting for a confirmatory text to say the evening was still on and to give him a time?
8pm is quite late to arrange for somebody to come round for the evening, he might have thought you had forgotten and were trying to cover that fact, or that you never really wanted him over so were deliberately leaving it too late and then leaving him to look like the bad guy by saying he’s not coming?

In any case, his reaction is way over the top and he sounds like hard work. YANBU to move on.