People who start threads and then don't bother to come back

[CarlaH]

I have stopped reading threads unless they are very new and don't yet have many responses if I see that the person who started it hasn't bothered to return.
I do read it if they then turn up.

Today I have opened a few threads which are pages long but no other input from the thread starter.

Do other people get fed up with people who don't return.

Its usually posters who don't get the response they were hoping for so they flounce off and don't participate any further. I think its a Lose-Lose on AIBU; they either don't get involved or they respond and get attacked by the swarm.

Occasionally I find a thread where I feel the OP responds in a very articulate, reasonable way to multiple responses, but once the tide has turned against them, they can't really win.

Alternatively, there are several threads I follow where the OP gives regular updates and they are my favourites. Its nice to see how things pan out and what advice they take/or don't. I find these updated threads are usually in "relationships" as opposed to AIBU, though. So, I do see your point about how frustrating it is when the OP just disappears.

YABU. You're not owed drama or updates, and OPs are under sod-all obligation to come back just to satisfy your curiosity.

If you can't handle that, MN is not the entertainment medium for you.

@Lockheart

YABU. You're not owed drama or updates, and OPs are under sod-all obligation to come back just to satisfy your curiosity.

If you can't handle that, MN is not the entertainment medium for you.

Why start a thread and ask for opinions and then disappear. Whats the point?

What's the point? To get the opinions. They red it and that's it. Point sometimes isn't to come back and chat and keep posters entertained

I wish I knew !

Why start a thread and ask for opinions and then disappear. Whats the point?

You don't know that they've "disappeared". They can read the replies without being obligated to respond.

I wonder whether they were posting in good faith

@MoreAloneTime

I wonder whether they were posting in good faith

Getting more and more like this and don't like it. I'm not cynical by nature but on here I question the truth of it all :)

YANBU. I find it quite rude tbh, to ask for advice or input, receive it, and not bother to even acknowledge it. People have taken time out of their day often to write really supportive or in-depth responses and when they’re outright ignored I do think it’s rude and would no longer reply to that person if they made more threads.

FWIW I know nobody is obligated to return and people freely give their advice knowing they don’t have a right to any response in return, but I still think it’s really rude.

I find it rude when I take time to post advice. I don’t expect a direct response but a general update or thanks is just good manners

Given the kicking I've seen a few OPs receive in recent days, I'm not surprised some of them don't come back TBF.

@MarieIVanArkleStinks

Given the kicking I've seen a few OPs receive in recent days, I'm not surprised some of them don't come back TBF.

Same ^ The pile ons are enough to make anyone disappear.

I do get why you'd disappear after an unexpected pile on. A lot of them are obvious wind up and go threads or lazy journalists.

Don’t blame them if it’s just a flaming, tbh.

And even if they do update most posters don’t bother to read so I don’t blame them.

I think once the trolls and dementors take over, it's best to leave the thread. I speak from experience!

It's better than those who get a thread deleted due to 'privacy reasons'!

@mummyh2016

It's better than those who get a thread deleted due to 'privacy reasons'!

Especially given there is usually nothing identifying about them whatsoever.

You might be surprised actually.

I have to constantly name change because someone I was friends with on another site stalks my posts here.

It doesn’t seem to matter if I change details, say I have a DS not a DD or VV or whatever. I am still found.

It really annoys me.

I take things at face value and if they're a troll then it says more about their life than mine.
Like Mummy said, it's more annoying when an entirely bland situation that wasn't outing gets deleted because 'the OP has privacy concerns'. 90% of the time 'privacy concerns' means 'doesn't like being told they're being an arse'.

If I click in a thread that sounds interesting and has quite a few posts, the first thing I do is look to see how many posts are by OP.
If there's only one, I don't bother to post.
I get that some posters might just want to see what the reaction is, but I don't invest my energy unless they have posted again.

I get it when they’ve posted in, say, AIBU and been torn limb from limb. But when I’ve spent an hour (admittedly work avoidance ) seeking out three perfect wedding guest outfits for someone on S&B - and they never return ...

@mineofuselessinformation

If I click in a thread that sounds interesting and has quite a few posts, the first thing I do is look to see how many posts are by OP. If there's only one, I don't bother to post. I get that some posters might just want to see what the reaction is, but I don't invest my energy unless they have posted again.

Me too. I don't see why I should bother if OP isn't even interested enough to engage.

I agree with you OP and while I can see why people might not come back to a thread in AIBU where posters are piling on, I’ve noticed it’s becoming quite common in even innocuous topics such as Christmas or Food & Recipes.

Obviously nobody’s obliged to return to their thread but it’s supposed to be a discussion forum not Ask Jeeves .

I understand in AIBU etc where the poster may have read the responses but not feel able to respond/feel attacked etc. I do find it really rude where the poster asks for help/advice on a non-emotive issue (e.g. "I'm travelling to x, what are good recommendations to visit" or "anybody got good advice for school admissions panels" or whatever), people spend a lot of time giving good advice, and the OP can't even be bothered to come back and give a one word "thanks".

I've often thought an interesting idea for a forum would be where the OP posts and there is only room for say 10 replies until the OP posts again. It would mean you could post and then go to the shops and not come back to 100+ pile on comments and the thread would only keep going if the OP kept participating.