To be infuriated by my mum cleaning the AirBnB?

[MangosteenSoda]

Tbh, I know I’m being somewhat unreasonable and exasperated is probably a better word than infuriated, but bloody hell! Why?

I’m clean and tidy and never leave a mess or dirty dishes etc. My mum is doing a full on deep clean. Polishing the sideboard kind of thing. Cleaner than when we arrived. Check out time is 11 and she started around 7. Everything packed and pristine by 8.30, then sitting around twiddling thumbs. We are moving on to another destination and have an activity booked en route, so no point setting off early. Would go to the beach again with DS, but she would probably freak out by any sand being brought back in. Arrgh.

I’m hiding in my bedroom with a half packed case, Mnetting like a sulky teen I can hear the sound of elbow grease from outside the door.

Love, love, love my mum dearly and my DS loves a holiday with his grandparents. But this drives me mad!

A bit annoying but I wouldn’t let it wind me up this much - just leave her to crack on and go out for a walk!

Good plan. I’m normally easy going, so I don’t know why this winds me up so much.

As a holiday cottage owner I'm always slightly bemused by people like your Mum. It takes 8 hours so two of us four hours to clean the cottage including a bit extra for covid and tbh I do appreciate bin emptiers, everything in the dishwasher which is most people but in all honesty everything gets cleaned anyway. All the skirting boards, flat surfaces, handles, windows sills need cleaned, floors need hoovered or mopped. Handiest things to do is empty the fridge, leave damp towels in the bathrooms tidy up any spills as you go. Not bothered about bed stripping as it's easier to spot stains and know if they need treatedif I do it.

There’s no dishwasher here, but I wouldn’t ever leave dirty dishes. Last year we stayed in a lovely big barn with all the wider family. I think check out had been moved to 9.30 because of Covid and they asked us to strip all the beds and sort the bedding and towels into different bags which my mum obviously loved

Did a big cooked breakfast for 10 people, cleared up kitchen and stuck the dishwasher on. Mum was freaking out because the dishes were in the dishwasher rather than dried and in the cupboard. She definitely prefers the lack of dishwasher here (I don’t)

Your Mum sounds like a very nice person to me! Perhaps it is just as well the holiday has ended, and it is time to go home

I’d be so grateful, the guidelines for covid cleaning are just too much, and I am stopping self-catering. We have one regular guest who actually does a deep clean every time, and he is brilliant, I never would expect it but he always does. I am shattered after doing a deep clean. I wish I still had a Mum to help, and I’d be so delighted if she had done this for me. It takes hours and she will be anxious in case there is anything somebody could complain about, it has made people paranoid about cleaning. We are selling our cottage.

go out for coffee and doughnuts?

She is indeed a lovely person. Much lovelier than I am

I don’t know what it is about this that bothers me so much. Last year the owner lived in an adjacent property and came over to say goodbye. My mum and aunt spent ages telling her about how clean they had made it (it had been spotless on arrival btw). I was cringing

I'd be inviting your mum to my house for a holiday once a month.

My Mum did this in our villa in Florida when we went a few years ago.

She was most affronted when an army of cleaners turned up and started re-doing it, as I told her they would. She had never been on holiday and didn't believe that it would happen. I think she honestly thought the cleaners would be happy at one less to do.

Does it bother you as its done with a judgemental air that you should be joining in? Or that she believes that if the owners /cleaners saw how you were prepared to leave it, they would judge you to be a slattern? Or is it bothering you because she's taken the decision it must be done and isn't listening to you as if you are still a child and she's the one who makes decisions?

Its worth thinking about why something petty annoys you.

But take ds to the beach. So what if she doesn't want sand on the floor when you come back.

Tell her she's wasting her last day as you are paying someone else to clean the property afterwards and they will spend exactly the same amount of time cleaning if she does it or not due to covid they can't just say "oh the guest left it clean so we can make a brew". Tell her you are going to th4 beach and you will be coming back sandy and there won't be time for her to clean it again and if she wants to waste her time cleaning, that's her choice but you won't pander to it.

She probably is terrified of being judged by the cleaners /owners. My mum is the same and hates the idea that other people would clean her mess even when it's their job to do it. She can not get her head round the idea a paid cleaner is not doing you a favour, it is their job to clean.

One day your mum won't be able to holiday with you or indeed be about at all. Enjoy the quirks while you can.

My mum is like this, but she does it during the stay too. I’ll be ready to flop and relax and she’ll start martyring with the hoover around me.
I leave things clean, no dishes, quick sweep etc.
We went to one really dusty bitty old house with dark carpets and they showed bits (despite no shoes) in a day. Every day she’d be at the carpets, wouldn’t leave them despite me pointing out the owner was probably both aware and had no idea if they were a bit bitty during the stay.
I think it gets me as she leaves my house in a tip if she visits!

@TravellingSpoon - ha your mum and mine are from the same school of thought - that some how they are helping out and don't get that this is the cleaners job and they won't just decide it doesn't need doing now and not bother. Huge amounts of holiday time wasted on housework. No idea why when she hates it.

I am your mum, I regularly get thank yous from people when we have stayed in their property, be it cottage or caravan, I send DH and DC out and start from one side and work my way round until everything is packed in the car and the property is sparkling, I've left some places much cleaner than when we have arrived, I can't stand the thought of someone else tidying after my family and it literally takes an hour or 2 at most.

I’m leaving an Airbnb today and having a coffee before I start cleaning

This would have been my mum in earlier years... hopefully not at the end of stays now. The piece that exasperates is "the sound of elbow grease". The huffing and sighing. It's meant to be a holiday not a boot camp. There's something martyrish about a deep clean before you leave a holiday cottage.

@blueskytoday06 - or perhaps think your mum won't be able to enjoy holidays one day, so why not stop her ruining the last day of each holiday with the pointless martyr routine?

Come on OP, you are an adult, tell her again or go out with ds and do what you want to do, dont ban the beach because your mum won't like the sand.

I love my mum and do definitely appreciate her!

She can have a bit of a martyr complex and it’s important to her to be seen as doing more than anyone else, so I think that’s probably what bothers me. No need to always to be looking for ways to put yourself out. I wish she knew how to relax a bit more (or at all!).

She brought towels and loo roll and was a bit when I insisted we use the ones provided

She’s a fairly seasoned traveller btw. I just think these kinds of self catering places bring out all the neuroses.

@LemonFantaGin - those thank yous you've had, have you ever got a refund for part of your holiday cost because you saved them paying the cleaner/spending their time cleaning it? Or did they just say thank you and think you are a mug for spending 2 hours of your holiday doing something you have paid someone else to do anyway?

All air bnbs are charging more this summer for a deep clean between guests. Most of the places I looked at where charging and extra £75. You will not get that money back if you do it yourself.

Do you offer to go do the washing up in a restaurant after your meal as well?!

Op you better be at the beach!!! Go have fun!!

😂 Thanks for calling me a mug 👍🏽

I'll still continue to clean up after my family wherever I stay, how muggy of me

I’m with you op I would find it annoying too. It’s martyrish behaviour. Bin and fridge empty fridge wiped down surfaces wiped down loos cleaned - that’s all you will get from me! Have cleaners myself at home I’m not doing your cleaning on my holiday holiday home owners!

I came home late on Christmas Eve one year and put away all the washing. Folded up the clothes drier and thought about the lovely family photographs around the tree. My mother who was staying with us must have got up at dawn on Christmas Day , ran several loads of washing through and put the clothes airer up again next to the tree and draped the entire place with wet washing. I was beyond angry (and she of course was completely oblivious to why the whole thing was inappropriate). My mother died in 2017 and I wish so much I could talk to her or hug her and really that wet washing wasn't that important.

Why does it matter?
You’ll get a glowing review