To be infuriated by my mum cleaning the AirBnB?

[MangosteenSoda]

Tbh, I know I’m being somewhat unreasonable and exasperated is probably a better word than infuriated, but bloody hell! Why?

I’m clean and tidy and never leave a mess or dirty dishes etc. My mum is doing a full on deep clean. Polishing the sideboard kind of thing. Cleaner than when we arrived. Check out time is 11 and she started around 7. Everything packed and pristine by 8.30, then sitting around twiddling thumbs. We are moving on to another destination and have an activity booked en route, so no point setting off early. Would go to the beach again with DS, but she would probably freak out by any sand being brought back in. Arrgh.

I’m hiding in my bedroom with a half packed case, Mnetting like a sulky teen I can hear the sound of elbow grease from outside the door.

Love, love, love my mum dearly and my DS loves a holiday with his grandparents. But this drives me mad!

My mum ALWAYS does this

And when we’re abroad she spends the last day hunting every Tom, Dick & Harry down that ever served us or made us a drink to give them all a tip.

I lie on the Sunbed getting hot & bothered by it cos I’m horrible !

Oh this would be my mum! Like you, I'd never leave a place a mess - would strip beds, put the bins out, wash dishes or leave the dishwasher on, sweep or hoover any really obvious mess etc but it's like she enjoys making life harder work than it needs to be!! It drives me mad, she'll come to stay and whilst I like that they make themselves at home and will wash up after dinner if i've cooked i find it a bit insulting that she'll then be cleaning the inside of the oven!

I had a mother like this - would ruin the first day of a holiday cleaning when we arrived plus the last day of the holiday cleaning when we left.

@OverTheRubicon

What also irks me is that the majority of exceptionally clean guests tend to come from less well off backgrounds.

Meanwhile Airbnb hosts are among the wealthiest groups in society, able to afford extra space or extra properties - and before I get jumped on, of course this is #notallhosts and am sure this doesn't mean that they are rolling in cash or feel wealthy next to their friends, but in a country where a large percentage don't even have 1-2 months salary in savings, they're doing pretty well.

It irks me, therefore, that it's less well off immigrants (like my mum) running around on holiday to make things sparkling to help out second home owners.

You are quite right. Of our guests yes it's the ones from less well off backgrounds who leave it spotless and leave us the glowing reviews. I'm also pleasantly surprised by guests I've unfortunately judged. The group of 20 something boys I was very worried about who were quiet as mice and left it like no one had been there for example. The aforementioned family in my PP rocked up in their Range Rover and clearly assumed they were in a hotel despite the fact they paid less than £20 a night per head for their visit and left a horrible review while leaving the place like a shithole.

And I'm not a rich second home owner. I have a little cottage on my land I meticulously renovated after we bought for the first time at 45 having saved for 20 years. We live in a tiny tinier house on the same land and the cottage is for my elderly parents (working class shipyard workers!) but the borders are closed and have been for 2 years so until then we make a little (heavily taxed) income from the Airbnb. After 20 years of renting from actual second home owners I feel we are due it! Nevertheless we do everything ourselves. We both work full time jobs and spend hours every evening cleaning every inch of the place and making it into a nice holiday experience for our weekend visitors. We also leave wine, breakfast, fruit and crisps and dips: 15% of our gross income!

My mum does this. After a holiday in a caravan park she cleaned top to bottom.... and actually said that we'd get a "tick" on their "system" for leaving it clean.

We all pissed ourselves laughing.

I didn't find it as amusing when she insisted we all tidy up the hotel Reception hall at my Wedding.... again to "gain marks"...

We leave it clean and tidy but certainly don't go above and beyond wiping down the sides / sweep kitchen floor /empty bins etc.

What is the actual point of paying the cleaning fee otherwise?

I get you - it’s too martyrish. It probably annoys you more BECAUSE it’s your mum and it’s like she is saying you all aren’t worthy of staying there and have to scrub out all evidence of your existence to make up for the fact you had the audacity to stay there

We once had an effusive email from an owner thanking us for leaving the cottage so clean. We were bemused as all we’d done was wipe down the surfaces and left everything tidy - I hadn’t hoovered or cleaned the bathroom beyond making sure there was no toothpaste marks on the sink. It made me wonder what state she usually found the cottage in!

The aforementioned family in my PP rocked up in their Range Rover and clearly assumed they were in a hotel despite the fact they paid less than £20 a night per head for their visit and left a horrible review while leaving the place like a shithole.

Just curious, is there an opportunity for the owner to rebut reviews like that?

@CharityDingle

The aforementioned family in my PP rocked up in their Range Rover and clearly assumed they were in a hotel despite the fact they paid less than £20 a night per head for their visit and left a horrible review while leaving the place like a shithole.

Just curious, is there an opportunity for the owner to rebut reviews like that?

No. My 40 5 star reviews were pulled down by this one. I can't contest it. All I can do is respond to the review in words on Airbnb so other potential guests get to see it. I got a warning from Airbnb. If you get anything less than 5 it's considered a failing.

@YumBroadBeans

Back in the 70s and 80s it was the norm to do your own clean on departure from a holiday cottage, so perhaps this is what your mum is thinking? A caretaker would usually rock up to make sure all was in order as you departed, but it was often an elderly person just checking it was left ok for the next family and definitely not an army of cleaners. You always took your own bedding and towels so there was no washing to be done. Sometimes you could pay extra for a full clean if you didn't want to do it yourself, or even hire bed linen on a per person basis, but the beds wouldn't usually be made up - this was the height of decadence!

I'd forgotten that! I can remember having to wait, impatiently, for the staff member to come and inspect before we could leave!

So yes, that absolutely could explain why some people (maybe just a few years older than me) feel that they have to leave it sparkling ready for the next person.

[quote MargosKaftan]@TravellingSpoon - ha your mum and mine are from the same school of thought - that some how they are helping out and don't get that this is the cleaners job and they won't just decide it doesn't need doing now and not bother. Huge amounts of holiday time wasted on housework. No idea why when she hates it. [/quote]
God, yes. See also ‘bustling around stacking up everyone’s plates, often before they’ve finished, and balancing cutlery and side plates and bread baskets on top, because she thinks she’s helping the waiter’, or starting to dust or strip bedlinen when housekeeping is in during a hotel stay.

In my mother’s case, it’s because she’s fundamentally uncomfortable with not being the one doing the cleaning or serving — she’s basically apologising to the cleaner or waiter for being the ‘customer’. The fact that it actually makes their jobs harder doesn’t seem to dawn on her.

The last day of our holiday was always ruined by my mum's need to do a deep clean of any property we were in. Furniture was moved to hoover behind, the washing machine soap dispenser was removed to make sure any grime was removed, it was bloody awful. The most unrelaxing end.

The rest of the family were unable to do a thing because she gave orders for cleaning tasks but then redid what we did... I dreaded it

I would just leave her to her super cleaning, what harm is that doing. My late Mum would have been like this. Some people love the feeling that they leave a place in a pristine condition. Then when they finally walk out through the door, they have another special look around, to see that their work is to be admired !!

Do you wait until the last morning to clean and wipe, so the place is a mess until the last day?

Most people wipe every day, don’t they? I do it after every meal but maybe I’m strange?

I wonder if she's doing all this cleaning because she's worried that someone will judge your DF (you mentioned 'grandparents') or your DH if the place isn't left clean?

As I've explained to my DH, I graciously assist him with cleaning our holiday home (we leave it clean but not spotless) because otherwise the owners will think he's a slattern and a failure as a husband and father . No skin off my nose, of course, but it would be a shame for him to fail in his societally conditioned duties.

We have arrived at AirBnB no. 2 of the trip. Mum is thrilled because this one has a vacuum cleaner and loads of cleaning products in stock.

They have also left laminated notices in the bedrooms with instructions on how to strip beds and sort the bedding and towels out. Mum is delighted whereas I think it’s a bit cheeky given the amount we have paid plus the cleaning fee. The place is gorgeous though.

Nice to hear the stories of other DMs and sympathies to those who have posted about late mums. I do know that I will miss all of this one day. Shout out to the pp whose mum knew all the restaurant and bar staff by the end of a holiday. I used to live abroad and my mum was the same. Knew all the places and all the people by the end of their trip. I’d go in a cafe and the wait staff would ask after my parents

People used to have pride leaving a place clean (like your mum) but I imagine that is rare now.

SOME people might have put some pride in their cleaning skills,
many just employed staff to do it for them, and at best had pride in how well they managed their help

@Blossomtoes

Do you wait until the last morning to clean and wipe, so the place is a mess until the last day?

Most people wipe every day, don’t they? I do it after every meal but maybe I’m strange?

I am guessing the people who need to wipe all the surfaces, bathroom etc.. can't be doing much during the rest of their stay.

If you do it regularly, there's nothing to actually clean on the last day.

In our case, my mum makes Mrs Hinch look like a slattern so there’s nothing that actually needs cleaning on the last day. Yet, clean she will

I’m (normal) pretty tidy and keep things the way I like them as we go along, so nothing other than clearing the breakfast dishes and a general wipe which is what I do at home after a meal. My mum cannot believe we are related, such are my ways.

My mum does this and so does her best friend. When they go away together it is like a cleaning competition at the end of the holiday.

It takes hours and includes emptying dishwasher, hoovering, mopping, polishing & properly cleaning the bathroom! I once saw them arguing over who would clean the oven FFS.

I mean, I leave the place clean & tidy but no need to go to extremes

I’m a bit like this.

However, I’ve also cleaned holiday let’s and know it’s a waste of time as they will redo it to know it’s “right” for the next guests

@BluebellCockleshell123

My mum does this and so does her best friend. When they go away together it is like a cleaning competition at the end of the holiday.

It takes hours and includes emptying dishwasher, hoovering, mopping, polishing & properly cleaning the bathroom! I once saw them arguing over who would clean the oven FFS.

I mean, I leave the place clean & tidy but no need to go to extremes

Blimey, that's a bit much.

Saying that in our last self catering holiday we used the oven twice - a ready made cheese back and pain au chocolat and never used the hob at all. I don't go on holiday to make a mess in the kitchen.

Now you are in property 2, I would make a point of saying "good news you can ignore all the instructions, I have paid for a deep clean after our stay so you won't be cleaning when we leave. We can relax and properly enjoy the last day." Remind her again on the last night "isn't it nice I've paid for a deep clean to be done before the owners come in so we can just throw things in the car and walk out."

I mean she'll hate it - but you can be all bemused that she's "doing someone out of a job."

Goodness if that's the maximum of your problems. You're very lucky. She just sounds like a typical house proud older generation mother. My mum would've done exactly the same if she was still around.