To feel depressed and want to cry when I think of this rockstar?

[LangyThorpey]

I doubt many on here will know him but I’m talking about Layne Staley from Alice in Chains. I was a fan in my teens but have rediscovered the band in my 40s and he just makes me want to cry. His whole life was plagued with depression and drug addiction. When you listen to his live unplugged stuff you can literally hear the pain in his voice. When he died, he laid undiscovered for 2 weeks, nobody missed him in that time. He was over 6ft tall and weighed around 5 stone when he died. His body was eventually discovered by his own mother. In his final months he spent his time alone in his apartment playing computer games alone. I don’t know what it is about him, I know there are many sad celebrity deaths but for some reason his really upsets me. Maybe it’s because he looks like my son, I don’t know.

If you’re interested go on YouTube and search for nutshell unplugged by Alice in chains to see what I’m talking about regarding his obvious pain.

AIBU to feel so deeply about this? He just makes me want to cry. Armchair psychologists, feel free to tell me why I’m feeling like this. I suspect it’s because he reminds me of my son so much, it’s heart breaking.

I remember him, I was and still am a huge Alice In Chains fan. The 90s grunge genre was very much my ‘thing’ in high school and i love all the music.

Every time one of them dies, I get quite sad too, right back to when Andy wood died - another absolute shining star gone too soon. Absolutely heart breaking story. Even now when I hear the first few bars of Crown of Thorns, it still gets me.

Then Kurt
Then Layne
Then Mike Starr also of AIC
Then Scott
Then Chris - that one was a super kick in the guts.

So yes I completely get where you’re coming from OP, it’s so sad that these amazingly talented, wonderful people had their amazing lives end in such tragic circumstances.

But it just makes me grateful for the happy, mundane, peaceful and contended life I have

Aw it was a huge shame. Incredible voice.

Same with Chris Cornell & Chester Bennington absolutely hugely talented singers.

Don't feel bad about feeling bad.

If he reminds you of your son then maybe show your son his story along with the others and tell him he needs to get him because you don't want his life to be wasted this way
Good luck

My mum reacted this way to the death of George Harrison, years and years ago. She was dry-eyed at her brother’s funeral the year before and then I came downstairs one morning and she was crying over the announcement and was quiet for days afterwards. It was weird and worrying but I think it isn’t unusual. Just be kind to yourself, OP.

I was like that when Freddie Mercury died, and Brian Redhead from the today programme. I think the latter because it was like he was in my bedroom every morning. He described himself as very old, but he was only 64 when he died.

I get it op. His fate was tragic. I get a bit sad over the deaths of certain musicians, and I think it is because I've listened to their music and on some level feel like I knew them, even though I obviously didn't. I was just listening to the River of Deceit actually, and pondering life.

I know what you mean. I can't listen to Alice in Chains much because I find it so depressing. I think he knew what was coming.

Chester Bennington for me here - LP was all I listened to in my teens, when I heard the news when he died it was the first time I physically cried so much when someone famous passed

@LangyThorpey

Layne was 34 when he died. My son is 20 and suffers from depression and alcoholism as well as dabbling with drugs. It doesn’t help that he’s the spitting image of him 😫 Its the loneliness that gets me, and the complete helplessness. Layne was too far gone to ever recover and it’s almost like he knew it and had accepted it. Poor bloody bloke and his poor mother 😢

Sorry to hear you are struggling with this.

I'm sure you've wondered if this could be your son, and you imagining the same pain as Layne's mother.

We all have moments when you visualise what could be if our kids take a wrong turn in life. Some scenarios catch us out emotionally.

Try to visualise an amazing future for you and your son, without the shadow of "this could be my son in x years" . With the right help, this can happen.

You sound lovely OP and this will pass.

The balanced side of this of course is when you come across a life-affirming story of a young man who has flourished out of a dark place. This could be the positive image of your son's life.

@AllyBama oh god you’re so right about that piano intro…. And the lyrics

@LynnInAVan have you heard Pearl Jam cover it? Eddie’s vocals… sigh

I can’t listen to Elliott Smith any more as it just makes me feel so sad.

@Sewaccidentprone

I can’t listen to Elliott Smith any more as it just makes me feel so sad.

Yep, still hurts after all these years.

Not a musician but I always feel like this if I see a Corey Haim movie. I think it’s because he’s so cute and comical and cheery, but obviously watching it I know he has a pretty miserable time in his future. We watched The Lost Boys over lockdown with my two eldest and I couldn’t stop thinking about it during the scene when he’s singing in the bathtub.

So I think it’s normal? I hope so anyway! As long as it isn’t taking over your life with grief, more just a sadness at thinking of it.

@LynnInAVan

Did anyone read all the stuff online when chris Cornell passed away? About his second wife?

No? What was said?

I couldn’t let myself get upset over CC though I listened and got swept away to SG for years and little else. Soundgarden and Jane’s Addiction. I don’t remember listening to much else.

OP I hope you’re feeling a little better. You’re worried for your son, very understandable. I can’t advice but sympathise

I would assume there's a level of projection. If your son looked like him but was in a brilliant place with fantastic MH i doubt t would affect you as much.. sounds like you're worried on some level of something like this happening to your son, o his pain being too much and you not being able to save him

@sadperson16

Gosh OP, I mean this kindly, you don't sound to be in a good place.

Please try to stop focusing on this stuff.

This. I think YABU to be quite so intensely focused on it, particularly as you are drawing similarities to your own son.

I have never heard of the artist.
I empathise re your son with depression. is he getting any help ? You also need support . It is heartbreaking watching your child with depression and very little help.
I get mad when I hear all these celebs say they are raising awareness about mental health #me too. But in reality there is little or no help.
Thinks about you x

Op given Layne died 19 years and your son is 20, how long has his death had this affect on you?

Love Alice in chains. Remember seeing them in concert at Manchester poly back in the 90's .
Was gutted when he died. Amazing voice. Agree about the mtv unplugged. Nutshell, first comment is a man singing at his own funeral.
The new line up though is amazing.

@SleepingStandingUp

Op given Layne died 19 years and your son is 20, how long has his death had this affect on you?

OP says she has just rediscovered the band so presumably she has been feeling like this only recently.

I just wondered if it had had any effect on her at the time, her son would have been quite young and wondered if there was a link there

[quote AllyBama]@LynnInAVan have you heard Pearl Jam cover it? Eddie’s vocals… sigh[/quote]
I feel this way about Hunger Strike by Temple of the Dog. It's an emotional song anyway, as were the reasons for the band being formed in the first place, but my god - Chris and Eddie harmonising together is just something else. Still gives me proper goosebumps all these years later.

It’s so beautiful it really is x