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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell bloke not to come this weekend

52 replies

LangyThorpey · 12/08/2021 15:08

Been seeing someone for around 2 months. I put off inviting him back to mine for various reasons but I didn’t want to spend another weekend at his cramped flat so invited him over 3 weeks ago. He annoyed me from the start insisting that the house couldn’t have been mine and banging on about who does it really belong to etc etc
During the night I found him creeping around acting weird, asked what he was doing and he said he thought the house was haunted and asked if he could go to the cellar. I said he was creeping me out and making me feel like I was in the process of being robbed. He apologised, we went to bed. I woke up in the early hours to find him sat up in bed with the lamp on videoing the bedroom door. He claimed it was “moving”. Long story short I told him I’d found the weekend disappointing and wasn’t sure about seeing him again. He apologised and said he just loved old houses and went on about the history of some of the buildings in the nearby city. He seemed to know his stuff and sounded genuine. I got over it. He asked if he could come back and stay the following weekend. I said “ok but no weird stuff!” And he promised he wouldn’t. During that week he started sending me history lessons on my house. It was interesting to be fair.
The weekend arrived and he came over, seemed ok at first but I noticed he had this app on his phone that he was using to look for ghosts. I said something like “don’t start this again” and he said it was just a bit of fun. Later in the night there was a loud bang upstairs, he bolted up there all excited and basically something had fallen off the bathroom window ledge (window was open, blinds had waffed and knocked it off). That started a whole night of ghost talk. He’s freaking me out.
He’s meant to be coming over tomorrow and I’m going to tell him not to. I just don’t want to talk ghosts all night again. This is my home, he’s acting like it’s a fun tourist attraction. My friend thinks I’m being a killjoy as this is the only issue I have with him. AIbU?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 12/08/2021 15:12

YANBU

He sounds like an utter bore.

LangyThorpey · 12/08/2021 15:14

@WorraLiberty

YANBU

He sounds like an utter bore.

It just seems so childish doesn’t it 😫
OP posts:
Mintjulia · 12/08/2021 15:14

A bore who believes in ghosts! Sounds like something off Midsummer Murder. I'd cancel & block.

Judgedbycats · 12/08/2021 15:14

I'm with you on this, he's clearly ignoring your wishes. If he sulks bin him off.

SoundBar · 12/08/2021 15:14

He sounds insane!

LouLou198 · 12/08/2021 15:17

He seems very odd. I wouldn't have him round again!

AnonymousCheerleader · 12/08/2021 15:19

Have you posted about him before?

Namechange1million · 12/08/2021 15:20

Ugh no! You have to live there the rest of the time. Can't have someone over thats going to make you scared of your own house!

AtrociousCircumstance · 12/08/2021 15:20

Attraction and respect levels must be sub zero right about now!

Dump. The creeping around and twattery regarding “who owns this house” marks him out as a tedious buffoon.

MotionActivatedDog · 12/08/2021 15:21

Urgh. Waste no more time on him. Dump him.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 12/08/2021 15:22

God no. I do wish women would stop trying to persuade other women to accept weird crap from men! Give him a chance, be nice, anything as long as you have a man. 🙄

Him going on about it can't be your house is weird too. Was he seeing £££, do you think?

Justmuddlingalong · 12/08/2021 15:23

Dump him. He sounds slightly unhinged.

liveforsummer · 12/08/2021 15:23

He sounds genuinely interested and enthusiastic. Fine if you are in to the same thing but you're clearly very different people so I'd say best to call it a day. Lie you say it's your home not an attraction. I bet there's someone perfect out there for this bloke but it's not you!

Whirlywooo · 12/08/2021 15:24

You already said "Ok but no weird stuff", so he came round - and did weird stuff. So on that basis alone I'd say a firm 'no'

Potatoy · 12/08/2021 15:25

Up to you. If it puts you off that's fine. You can not see someone for whatever reason you like.

FlatteredFool · 12/08/2021 15:26

Unless he's Fox Mulder I'd be sending him on his way.

ChargingBuck · 12/08/2021 15:28

My friend thinks I’m being a killjoy as this is the only issue I have with him.

What's it to her?
Why is she undermining your feelings, & being so unsupportive?

You clearly don't want to see him again - so I can't understand why you are agonising over it & asking your friend & the internet what you should do.

Ditch the twat!
Your friend can go out with him if she wants to be bored shitless by a man who believes in fairy takes.

Logbaskethammer · 12/08/2021 15:28

He sounds rude and strange.

Suprima · 12/08/2021 15:28

He sounds odd and bin him off but please tell us more about your house Grin

LangyThorpey · 12/08/2021 15:32

I liked him a lot until I invited him over here 😢

Nothing unusual about the house, it’s just very old and has a bit of history

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 12/08/2021 15:33

Also, I think the bit that jumps out is that he was creeping around your house in the middle of the night. The first time he stayed.

He hardly knows you. It’s YOUR home. But he felt entitled to behave in this inappropriate way. It’s crossing boundaries, ignoring the value of your space as just that - yours. Not his to sniff around and explore like some cave he found in a wood somewhere.

Yes and your friend can go out with the spooky numbnut if she wishes 👻

Potatoy · 12/08/2021 15:33

@LangyThorpey

I liked him a lot until I invited him over here 😢

Nothing unusual about the house, it’s just very old and has a bit of history

That's fine, that's what dating is about. Getting to know someone.
LangyThorpey · 12/08/2021 15:34

@AtrociousCircumstance

Also, I think the bit that jumps out is that he was creeping around your house in the middle of the night. The first time he stayed.

He hardly knows you. It’s YOUR home. But he felt entitled to behave in this inappropriate way. It’s crossing boundaries, ignoring the value of your space as just that - yours. Not his to sniff around and explore like some cave he found in a wood somewhere.

Yes and your friend can go out with the spooky numbnut if she wishes 👻

Yeah I know, I honestly thought he was robbing me 😢 he was trying to find the cellar apparently 🙄
OP posts:
Malvarrosa · 12/08/2021 15:36

I said something like “don’t start this again” and he said it was just a bit of fun.

It’s a bit of fun if both of you are into it. You’d made it pretty clear already that it bothered you, and he’d said he understood. I’d be afraid he doesn’t respect boundaries, so if I asked him in the future to do/not do something and he agreed, I wouldn’t trust his word.

AnonymousCheerleader: Have you posted about him before?

I was wondering this too! There was an AIBU thread recently: "New man sees spirits and it freaks me out." Might be of some interest, OP: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4305403-new-man-sees-spirits-and-it-freaks-me-out-aibu?messages=100&pg=1

Aquamarine1029 · 12/08/2021 15:36

You should have kicked him out the first time he stayed at yours. He's a fuckwit, creepy and weird. I'm astounded you've been seeing him for this long.