My weight is out of control - help please

[Lemonandgingers]

posting as a last ditch attempt to get my weight under control.

I ballooned during lockdown, I gained around 45-50lbs, which I desperately need to lose.

Health wise I feel horrendous. My mental health has declined, I keep getting depressive episodes directly linked to my size, but they zap my motivation.

I feel so stuck. It’s such a lot to lose, I feel out of my depth, I weigh more now than I did when heavily pregnant

If anyone can offer any words of advice I would really appreciate it. I feel overwhelmed, ashamed, and really sad. I know I have to do something - I’ve considered meal replacements, but I don’t want to pile the weight back on again if I ever lose it!

I am so desperate to change. Tia

Why not ask MNHQ to move your post to the weight loss board. Loads of supportive posters on there

(Click the 3 dots and report your own post if you’d like to)

I can recommend rh fitness. They are on Facebook. Sit and watch their videos, Richie is seriously amazing. All legit, no secrets, low price, just real advice. It's done wonders for my mental health too even when my physical is struggling

I agree with @AnneLovesGilbert you can also hop on some of the running threads. Great posters and supportive

The first thing I did for losing the lockdown weight was to stop drinking calories...it made a huge difference. I lived off sugar free squash, water and black coffee. Once a few pounds had shifted, I felt more motivated to increase the exercise so got a fitbit type gadget.
As motivation rose, it was easier to swap a few foods like normal cheese to low fat cheese, full fat yoghurt to low fat...I wasn't denying myself foods, I was just making small sustainable changes.
I'm down 15kgs now and I feel physically and mentally so much better.

I lost a lot of weight last year through a 800 cal a day diet. Also did various types of exercise several times a week. At the time I was desperate to lose weight and this gave me quick results

This book and the series of threads on here might be worth a look, @Lemonandgingers. I’ve been in a similar situation and it’s so demoralising and horrible.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weight_loss_chat/4023261-Why-We-Eat-Too-Much

Another helpful and sensible source of help is dietdoctor.com

It can be overwhelming trying to decide what to do but essentially, if you’ve got a lot to lose anything where you’re cutting your calories will help. That could be calorie counting, it could be slimming world, it could be fast 800, 5:2 or just eating mindfully. You’ll be sticking with it for a little while so choose something sustainable.

Where do you think your diet or lifestyle to causing you to gain weight? Are there particularly tricky foods, or times of day?

I should have said, try not to feel ashamed. Lots of people find themselves where you are. The main thing to remember is you’re in position of power now-you’ve recognised there’s a problem and you’re choosing the best strategy to sort it out.

Really good luck. As others have said, there’s great support on the weight loss boards.

For me a good place to start is always cutting out sugar and alcohol, as sugar drives cravings. Good luck!

Start easy op.

More walking
Cut out sugar and milk in hot drinks.
Stop all sauces or dips with food.
Stop using salt.
Sip water almost constantly through the day.

These are the small changes that make a big difference for some people!

And as someone pointed out above,don't drink calories!! Water water water ..or tea/coffee .

Dont be so hard on yourself op.
Here's where you are, and you want to change it so dont look back ! .

Only thing that ever worked for me was calorie counting, I just make sure to eat 500 less than my daily amount and attempt to do 10k steps per day. I often only do around 5k though, the weight came off slowly but surely and has stayed off. I still eat fast food and meals out etc just make sure to include it in my daily calories.

Oh and I stopped drinking calories like a PP said, I don’t drink tons of coke and sugary tea anymore but rather water, sugar free juice, tea and coffee with SS milk and sweetener and the occasional Coke Zero.

Also don’t try to do too much at once, I tried to change everything overnight several times and failed miserably!

Hi Op, Im similar to you, I put on 3 stone in the last 18 months.

I started a plan 3 weeks ago and have lost 8 pounds so far.

As part of the plan, Im calorie counting on myfitnesspal with a 1600 calorie a day limit and exercise for 30 mins 5 times a week.

Its been incredibly easy so far - I havent felt like Im depriving myself of food and the short exercise sessions are ideal.

Most importantly I think by calorie counting, I'm actually learning about the food I'm eating for the first time in my life, which woll hopefully stop me from falling odd the wagon in future.

Caloric deficit is the only way to lose weight.

Moving more = burning more calories
Eating less = your body taking in less calories

Doing both will at least put you closer to a deficit.

You can use the free app MyFitnessPal to calculate your suggested calorie intake per day. You have to scan the barcode of every item of food and drink that you eat and drink, but it counts the calories for you. I'm very overweight (like a size 22) and lost weight eating 1950 calories a day, but someone who is much smaller or shorter may need to be eating 1400 ish to lose weight.

Do not drop below 1200. You won't last, you'll binge, you won't lose weight and you'll lose motivation.

I lost 70 lb in 8 months on SlimmingWorld and maintain a healthy bmi now (was obese bmi) I personally needed group support. Eating healthy food - protein, lots of veg is filling so not hungry. I feel better eating this way so am able to stick to it. Good luck.

I gained a similar amount of weight last year. I've been calorie counting and losing it slowly (about half a pound a week). I set my calories at about 1800 and then don't eat back my exercise calories. I don't calorie count at weekends but don't go crazy either.

For exercise, I mostly walk a lot and do the occasional YouTube workout or play some Just Dance. I also make the effort to seek out and make a lot of interesting dinners and switch up my work lunches as much as possible.

I tried to lose it quicker and only lasted a few weeks because falling off the wagon. Losing it slowly is working nicely for me.

I would recommend intermittent fasting. It’s pretty easy, and has health benefits beyond just weight loss eg can reduce insulin resistance, possibly helps with other issues like reducing inflammation. You can start with 12 hour eating window and gradually reduce this so you are fasting for a bit longer. I currently have an 8 hour eating window and 16 hour of fasting when I can only have water, black tea or black coffee. So I don’t eat till 11am and then have normal lunch and tea. Then at 7pm I don’t eat anything else.
It’s that simple and it’s amazing how quickly you get used to this. Some people do longer fasts eg 18 hours, I’m edging towards this.
Best thing is you can eat normally in your eating window

Someone recommended to me here : Freedom from the diet cycle podcast by Paul Wistuba. The podcast are not long and its very eyes opening ! Give it a go !!

I am in the exact same boat. I am trying to work something out. No idea what. Message me if you'd like to buddy up/talk

Thank you for all the replies - reading through them all now and will reply to more in the morning as I am falling asleep! It’s reassuring to hear a few of us are in the same boat, and to hear from people who’ve managed to shift some of the weight

Where do you think your diet or lifestyle to causing you to gain weight? Are there particularly tricky foods, or times of day?

@PurpleDaisies it’s mainly the relentless urge to snack, and my meals becoming a lot more carb heavy and high in calories. At the start of the first lockdown I had a cancer scare and needed surgery, it was hugely stressful and I turned to food for comfort - it started off as 10lbs, then 20, then 30.. those initial habits I developed to help me cope were solidified with lockdown and being indoors so much and now I struggle to feel satisfied with the sort of portions/foods I used to eat, which was lots of veg, some protein and healthy fats.

It sounds, from your previous diet of lots of veggies, protein, and healthy fats, that you used to eat a reasonably low-carb diet? I would suggest cutting carbs and sugar wherever possible, but upping the protein and fats. The way I see it, we can't have fat and carbs in large quantities together without gaining weight, so, for example, no bread with cheese; but if you ask yourself, would I rather have a piece of bread with no cheese, or a piece of cheese with no bread, it's probably the cheese you'd choose to eat. So cut us many carbs and sugars as possible, and as someone said upthread, no drinking calories.

Since you're struggling to feel satisfied with what you're eating, I'd suggest some form of intermittent fasting, where the window for eating is as small as possible, so that you have less time feeling dissatisfaction.

I think you should also look at other ways to soothe or comfort yourself. It seems quite reasonable that after your traumatic experiences, you'd eat for comfort, but at this point, while you're stripping that method back, you might look for something else.

Also, this may be controversial, but it works for me. I'd get some sugar-free chewing gum. When I'm cutting out snacks, I find having something else to chew furiously on in the evenings very useful.

@Sheldock I disagree with you. Low fat products are not the answer as they are highly processed and full of sugar. I found that a low carb eating plan worked and doing the Fast 800 for 7 weeks shifted 8kg for me.

You can do this but just realise that it will take time to get off. Break it down into smaller targets eg 7lbs at a time. I had the same amount to lose (gained over a course of about 3-4 years) and have done well with weight watchers. It helped reset my habits and this way of eating is normal for me now so I feel confident about keeping it off. I still have about 12lbs still to lose and it’s coming off VERY slowly now (I’m in menopause) but it’s all going in the right direction. It’s only really now that I’ve lost most of the weight that I’ve started to get serious about exercise but I increased my walking early on as it’s low impact on the joints. I was daunted too at the amount of weight I had to lose but it’s doable and you will feel so much better about yourself once you succeed. I’ve gone from a size 18 to a 12 and my target is a size 10. Please don’t be so hard on yourself and good luck

Another vote for intermittent fasting. I am losing weight at a rate of 2lbs per week on 16-8 which is the highest rate you can lose and for it still to be sustainable.

There is an amazing reddit community r/intermittentfasting who are very positive, supportive and informative.