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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take DS out of school for two weeks for holidays?

277 replies

DimplesEverywhere · 11/08/2021 16:13

When Covid settles down and we can get into Florida without too much hassle. Hopefully later this year or early next year. We haven’t gone away for the last two years so have been waiting to do a big holiday.

He is starting secondary school in September but he’s well above average in all subjects so I don’t think it’ll impact him that much.

I’d also rather go on hols outside of school hols, as it’s less busy now, that DS is the only DC we’ll potentially get fined for (other DC out of school). It’ll be cheaper so we’ll save more than the £120 anyway!

Thinking of doing it every year from now actually.

Would it BU?

OP posts:
DDiva · 11/08/2021 18:15

I have no issues in taking our dd out of primary school however I think secondary is very different. Are you really suggesting a couple of hours looking of homework online will replace being in the classroom all day ? I certainly wouldn't do it in the last 2/3 years around GCSE's.

AfternoonToffee · 11/08/2021 18:17

@plodalong12

Everyone is so weird and uptight about this on here but unless you are somewhat young, or went to school in another country where things are different, then you are old enough to have been in school at a time when doing this was a completely routine and normal thing to do by parents who could afford to do it. Only in the last decade or maybe a bit longer has there been this completely OTT reaction to missing the last or first week of school. Or is it just a MN thing?
It isn't a new thing. 40 odd years ago my big sister missed the first week of the new year (was in Infants) my Mum absolutely regretted it. Fair enough the teacher was incredibly flakey (though absolutely lovely) but my sister didn't even have a desk to sit at on her first day back.

I also lived in an area with a high proportion of people employed in the car industry, factory closure weeks were completely normal and the schools used to just allow for them.

lavenderandwisteria · 11/08/2021 18:19

I don’t think there is a link between the two items, as it happens.

It is the sort of bossy, clipped middle class response that entirely misses the point. Low earners? They’d all be bringing in millions if they weren’t so blasted irresponsible - going to Disney when they should be in school!

Low earning potential isn’t just linked to education. There are plenty of unemployed or low earning graduates who will testify to that, and plenty of self employed tradespeople who are earning very well, thank you very much.

Then we also have vital key workers in supermarkets, care homes, schools and hospitals barely bringing home pennies but I don’t think we want to be without them really, do we?

Achievement is down to a number of factors and a two week family holiday during term time is neither here nor there.

MsTSwift · 11/08/2021 18:20

What does he think? Mine would hate to miss secondary school we had to fly back from Italy a day early last year to avoid France so they wouldn’t have to quarantine and miss the start of school (one year 7 one year10) with their mates. Both were tearful at the very prospect. Teens often hate anything that sets them apart and this would.

Sirzy · 11/08/2021 18:20

Two weeks every year throughout secondary? Very unreasonable.

I’m taking ds out for the last 4 days of term next July mainly to try to get somewhere slightly quieter as he doesn’t cope with people due to his Autism. He also hates the last week of term when routine goes to pot.

I wouldn’t take him out for longer or mid term though

plodalong12 · 11/08/2021 18:24

@AfternoonToffee

It isn't a new thing. 40 odd years ago my big sister missed the first week of the new year (was in Infants) my Mum absolutely regretted it. Fair enough the teacher was incredibly flakey (though absolutely lovely) but my sister didn't even have a desk to sit at on her first day back.

Who will play your sister in the movie? I’m sure she got a desk as soon as they realised she didn’t have one, or was she made to work on the floor for weeks?

I also lived in an area with a high proportion of people employed in the car industry, factory closure weeks were completely normal and the schools used to just allow for them.

That sounds like it used to be normal for kids to be off school at parent discretion without school interfering which is exactly what I said in my post so I don’t know why you’ve raised it as a disagreement. You also said the teacher was nice and not invasive about it, which is also what I said.

Awalkintime · 11/08/2021 18:24

If you'd be happy for his teacher to do the same thing then feel free.

Colourcones · 11/08/2021 18:25

People are wrong when they say no child will mind being taken out of school for a holiday. I taught for years and many did. The catching up that they ( not their parents!) have to do causes stress for those who care about their education.

TheBlueSheep · 11/08/2021 18:25

It might not just be £120 fine.

I kept DD off for an extra week after surgery and had both the consultants and the HTs backing.

Still got fined. It was £60 per parent per session missed so £240 per day as I had to pay ExHs as well after 5 days absense.

I appealed and won because of the backing of both consultant and HT but if i hadn't it would of been a fine of over £1k.

Livinghereinallentown · 11/08/2021 18:26

@Iggly

He’s just starting secondary school???

That’s a big transition to make, it’s a lot about making friends and settling into a new routine.

Why on earth would you even consider it…

My thoughts exactly.
unidentifed · 11/08/2021 18:27

I don't understand posters saying YABU.

School is not the most important thing in life. For this reason, I would say go. Being on holiday doesn't mean your kids can't learn at the same time! Ask for work ahead of time so you can make sure they don't miss large amounts of info (which in a two week time period is literally impossible).

Sirzy · 11/08/2021 18:27

Don’t ask for work before you go. Teachers do not have time to plan and arrange holiday work!

unidentifed · 11/08/2021 18:28

@plodalong12

Everyone is so weird and uptight about this on here but unless you are somewhat young, or went to school in another country where things are different, then you are old enough to have been in school at a time when doing this was a completely routine and normal thing to do by parents who could afford to do it. Only in the last decade or maybe a bit longer has there been this completely OTT reaction to missing the last or first week of school. Or is it just a MN thing?

Definitely a MN thing 🙄

nocturnalcatfreetogoodhome · 11/08/2021 18:30

If he was any other year than first year and was younger than GCSE I’d have said take him.

The move up to secondary is daunting as it is, turning up as the new kid once everyone is starting new friendships and has learnt their way round would be really difficult for him. Either go over summer and take the financial hit or put it off until next year/Christmas.

Feenie · 11/08/2021 18:32

Absolutely.no.offence, it was hilarious!

SuperCaliFragalistic · 11/08/2021 18:37

@PatsArrow

I'm a School Governor at a Secondary with the link role of Attendance. Pupils going away in term time is a big problem. Even if 3 or 4 families do it it can really impact on Attendance stats.

Will you be the first to complain if the schools Ofsted rating goes down?

Indeed.

You want the state to educate your child but only on the days of your choosing. If you want the freedom to sunbathe in November maybe you should home school your DC?

caughtinanet · 11/08/2021 18:37

@Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin

If you can afford to go to Florida, you can afford to do it during school holidays . I can understand the odd day or two when the flights aren't compatible with school but 2 weeks? Not fair on your child or their teachers imo.
How does that work? Confused

If I can afford a £3000 holiday can I automatically afford a £10000 one? I must be going wrong somewhere.

Nocutenamesleft · 11/08/2021 18:42

@TheBlueSheep

It might not just be £120 fine.

I kept DD off for an extra week after surgery and had both the consultants and the HTs backing.

Still got fined. It was £60 per parent per session missed so £240 per day as I had to pay ExHs as well after 5 days absense.

I appealed and won because of the backing of both consultant and HT but if i hadn't it would of been a fine of over £1k.

It’s capped at £240.
Madeatimemachineoutofadelorean · 11/08/2021 18:43

As long as you don't blame the teachers if your child ends up behind/missing key parts of the curriculum, crack on.

ineedaholidaynow · 11/08/2021 18:44

@plodalong12 sorry, sense of humour failure!

DelphiniumBlue · 11/08/2021 18:50

This whole thing about not taking children out of school during school term is relatively new. For children who are at least meeting the required standard, a few weeks out will not really impact on their overall academic success. If they are not meeting the required standard, they might benefit from extra 1:1 time spent reading with a parent during the holiday. And almost all children will benefit from foreign travel, seeing how other people live, how things work differently, maybe focusing on physical skills like swimming and diving.

You just need to make sure that he will not miss out on vital tests that go towards exam results. This won't be an issue in Year 7, but could well be in Year 10.
Do what works for your family.

Mummadeze · 11/08/2021 18:54

I can’t imagine even considering taking my DD out of secondary school for 2 weeks. They get loads of homework and the work is much harder than primary. My DD wouldn’t want to break the rules or miss that much school either. I definitely wouldn’t do this. We took her out of primary for a few days to go to Disneyworld and felt bad enough about that!

Feenie · 11/08/2021 18:55

This whole thing about not taking children out of school during school term is relatively new

And so is the crammed curriculum.

For children who are at least meeting the required standard, a few weeks out will not really impact on their overall academic success.

Really? 4 weeks is ten percent - you think a child at 90% attendance won't fall behind?! And two weeks in November could easily add up to 4 by the end of the year with illness.

Smurf123 · 11/08/2021 18:57

As a teacher I'd not have an issue with it (though I can't tell you that in rl) as long as you don't ask me to give him work to do on holiday. He can ask his friends/ catch up when home.
If I wasn't a teacher I'd do it without a second thought.. we are doing an extra week before the Christmas holidays this year - I'm on maternity leave and dh is taking that week as parental leave - our ds is missing a few days of school - though he's only 3 so it is just preschool. I only wish it was to head to Florida rather than to my in laws house in Europe!

Billandben444 · 11/08/2021 19:03

No friendship group breaks down over a fortnight!
The OP is talking about the autumn term and Yr7 friendship groups are still up in the air.