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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Parking thread with diagram

118 replies

RubyReigns · 10/08/2021 17:18

Bit of background. New build houses. We moved in about 6 weeks after the neighbours. Our house is has driveway parking for 2 cars, theirs only has one space. We only have one car and only use the extra space for visitors.
We get on ok with the neighbours, not overly friendly but say hi, take in each other’s parcels etc if needed.
When we first moved in their visitors would block our drive whether we were on it or not. DH is very calm and amenable and he didn’t mind knocking on their door daily to ask to be let out. Meanwhile I decided we could get round this by parking sticking out on to the pavement for a few days to stop them fitting over our drive iyswim? DH agreed to do this to appease me haha.
This seemed to work and they stopped parking over the drive even when we went back to parking on it normally.
For the last week they’ve been parking over our empty drive space as in the diagram. It means when we have visitors they have to park elsewhere (no parking spaces anywhere near by apart from driveways or blocking your own cars in). If our visitor parks over our other driveway space it blocks the junction for anyone coming on to or out of the street.
How can I sort this without speaking to them directly? There’s quite a few of them there at all times and they are quite loud so I don’t want to approach this on my own and DH doesn’t think they’re being unreasonable.
I think they should be blocking in their own car with their own visitors because that’s just the done thing isn’t it?
Am I being unreasonable? Do I just need to calm down and be more DH?

OP posts:

Original poster

RubyReigns · 11/08/2021 08:51

@Wheresmrpenguin

Wierd, You have the exact same set up as me (but the opposite way, even down to the grass patch in between, its spooky, are you my neighbour?) my neighbours visitor does the exact thing it drives me crazy. And theyre here daily too. I was polite at first, but I've started kicking off without shame. Since I last shouted, my neighbours have been avoiding me but the visitor has started parking more towards my neighbours side for now.

I think it’s common on new build estates to have this set up. On my street we are the only house with 2 spaces - we wouldn’t have moved in to a single space house because we (me and the DC) have regular visitors and two are disabled. I don’t want to make it awkward with the neighbours because we do have to live here and the garden fence is quite short which could make it awkward when we are all out back. But the inconsiderate visitor parking is driving me crazy. It’s not even the same visitor it’s any of them. It makes me think the neighbours have told them it’s fine to park there. It is not fine!

OP posts:

meadowbleu · 11/08/2021 11:10

I don’t want to make it awkward with the neighbours

They're the ones making it awkward, not you.

You bought a house with two off road parking spaces that you should be able to access at any time. Does it actually seem unreasonable to you that you should assert that right?

I'm at a loss why your husband isn't supportive? They've started a pattern here and it needs to be addressed.

Go and speak to them, telling them you need your own spaces to be available for you or your visitors at all times. Simple as that. You could mention people who struggle with disabilities, but you absolutely don't have to justify anything. If they take offence, so be it, it's them making life awkward, not you.

PegasusReturns · 11/08/2021 11:47

I’d buy a second car because I’m absolutely that petty

Perhaps you could just borrow one for a week or two?

CaptainHammer · 11/08/2021 11:51

You have 2 parking spaces why does your DH think it’s passive aggressive to park in the other one? They are your spaces you can park in which ever one you like.

PheasantsNest · 11/08/2021 11:54

You must have paid a premium for the extra space. They are being so unreasonable. Ask them to move every single time.

Bagelsandbrie · 11/08/2021 12:21

You need to borrow a caravan from somewhere

They’re being totally unreasonable.

TeapotCollection · 11/08/2021 12:32

Your husband is being way too soft over this

Another vote for asking them to move every time you need the space. Bollocks would our visitors be parking elsewhere because they’ve blocked OUR space!

Aprilinspringtimeshower · 11/08/2021 12:58

Is there a dropped curb? If there is it is a parking offence for anyone to park across or even wheels extending in front of dropped curb.
You need to point this out to them nicely. Say you would not like for the police to have to warn them, and it is causing you issues. I assume you paid more for your house, and have a bigger plot and boundaries, just becuase you choose to not park a car in that part of driveway everyday does not give them right to park across a dropped curb.
If curb isn’t dropped- nowt you can do other than appeal to their consideration

cultkid · 11/08/2021 13:01

Park over your drive and block them in? Park your car on the side where the wall is. Let them park in front of the space they normally park in and then when they go inside put your car on their bumper so they have to ring the bell to leave.

Alternatively let them block you in and then knock on the door and say omg do you know who's car that is my aunty has been taken to hospital I need to get there right now and I can't move my car!

MargotMoon · 11/08/2021 13:02

Is it worth putting a note on their visitors' various cars for a few weeks? The neighbours clearly aren't going to tell them not to park there, so unless the drivers themselves know then they will keep parking there. Especially if you mention that your visitors need to park on your drive to be near your house because they have mobility issues

KnobJockey · 11/08/2021 13:08

Tell your visitors they're fine to block in the neighbours driveway if yours is blocked. Go passive aggressive

dworky · 11/08/2021 13:17

You should park in front of their drive, blocking them in or out & when they come knocking say "Ah yes, it's annoying isn''t it, having to go through the rigmarole of asking someone to move before using your own drive? Shall we all make sure it's not necessary in future?"

billy1966 · 11/08/2021 13:41

Raise your fence at the back if it's too low.

GlitterBiscuits · 11/08/2021 13:45

I'd go the whole way if I were you...learn to drive yourself and then you can get your own back

donquixotedelamancha · 11/08/2021 13:53

This. Your husband also needs to back you up on this.

It’s about not sweating the small stuff.

A lot of MN threads are small stuff, this isn't- OP has visitors who can't park. I can't understand anyone who would let themselves or their loved one be inconvenienced in this way. Letting the neighbours behave poorly now will only escalate the situation in the end.

gunnersgold · 11/08/2021 13:53

No one should ever block your drive or access ! Just tell them to never park there !

coodawoodashooda · 11/08/2021 14:00

The only acceptable solution is that you need to learn to drive so that you can implement a succession of suitably aggressive parking.

Blossomtoes · 11/08/2021 14:06

lot of MN threads are small stuff, this isn't- OP has visitors who can't park. I can't understand anyone who would let themselves or their loved one be inconvenienced in this way. Letting the neighbours behave poorly now will only escalate the situation in the end

Of course it’s small stuff. Who ever lay on their deathbed and thought “I wish I’d kicked up more of a stink about my neighbours’ inconsiderate parking”?

donquixotedelamancha · 11/08/2021 14:15

Of course it’s small stuff. Who ever lay on their deathbed and thought “I wish I’d kicked up more of a stink about my neighbours’ inconsiderate parking”?

By that measure you'd only ever resolve situations which were of deathbed importance and just walk through life as a compliant sheep about everything else.

It's fine if that makes you happy but many people would be very unhappy with that approach.

Everanewbie · 11/08/2021 14:41

Hi OP. I know your post is looking for ways of resolving this without speaking to them directly. The problem is, all of these solutions look a bit confrontational and maybe a bit petty. From their perspective, which maybe does boarder on the CF, they may well think that it doesn't cause you an issue seeing as you have one car and can easily get of your drive.

I know you shouldn't have to, but try to catch them informally when you're both taking the bins out or something, and just explain that you have regular visitors, one of which is disabled, and that you need all of your drive for this.

If they are still knobs then you can let the games begin.

coodawoodashooda · 11/08/2021 16:00

I think id casually pop out and mention it as they parked up.

Original poster

RubyReigns · 12/08/2021 18:10

Update.
DH has been parked on the other side since Tuesday evening unless he’s been at work. He got home about an hour ago and already a visitor of the neighbours has blocked him in.
This time even DH was a bit annoyed. One of the DC has an activity 6.30 so he had to knock on to ask them to move. He’s now taken DC to the activity but the reluctance in the visitor to actually move their car. They slowly sauntered down looking aggrieved at being asked to move. They were fully blocking him in for goodness sake.
I’ve had a couple of visitors today and asked them to park right across the end of our drive to stop the neighbours. Looks like it might have annoyed them for our car to get blocked in like that? Surely their visitor should block the neighbour in before us?

OP posts:

TheWindRises · 12/08/2021 18:27

Can you park on the road, blocking your own driveway? That’s what I’d do

WallaceinAnderland · 12/08/2021 18:30

Glad your dh is starting to get it.

bluecitygirl · 12/08/2021 18:31

Maybe park blocking their driveway and if they ask just say I thought that was how we are doing these days.

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