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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it's bloody obvious that you don't put a baby to bed soaked in calpol?

87 replies

ThirdElephant · 09/08/2021 20:09

Just that really. I asked DH to put the baby to bed and give him some calpol first because he's teething and has been sleeping badly. Baby was already in pyjamas at this point. DH did this while I was dealing with the eldest. Baby just woke so I picked him up to find that he's absolutely covered in calpol. All down his front, two big blotches, soaked to the skin underneath and sticky all over.

I've obviously now had to change and wash him down to remove the residue, fully waking him in the process.

DH happened to wander by and I pointed out that I'd had to change the baby and said, 'He had calpol all over him'. DH just said, 'I know', shrugged and grinned when I gave him a look of incredulity. I am internally seething.

AIBU to be very annoyed or am I overreacting? Would anyone aside from my DH leave their baby sticky overnight?

OP posts:
FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 09/08/2021 20:32

Yes I think that would annoy me too. These things happen all the time but peeling dried calpol of skin isn't nice, you'd think he have just changed her! It is very lazy

Wintercoffee · 09/08/2021 20:32

Obviously none of us can see how sticky your wee one was or how bad their clothes were, just sounds like a man thing! Nothing that can’t be wiped with baby wipes and washed in the washing machine in the morning.

Rosebel · 09/08/2021 20:33

It was lazy but no way would I have risked fully waking your baby by washing and changing him.
How much Calpol did your DH give him to get so much over your baby? It's only supposed to be about 5ml isn't it?

54321nought · 09/08/2021 20:37

@juglover2008

Was it all over or just a few drops from a 5ml spoon? I can't see how you could soak a baby in calpol and also once the baby was asleep isnt waking the baby up to wash and clean more stressful than leaving them a bit sticky till morning
my thoughts exactly. I really wouldn't consider this worth a thread. Or even a discussion with DH. DH didn't think it mattered. You do, but that is just your opinion. I doubt the baby cared at all one way or another. You're the one with the issue, imo.
legalseagull · 09/08/2021 20:37

I think you're being a bit dramatic TBH. Lots of times we've tried giving calpol and some has been dribbled out of mis squirted. I wouldn't disturb a baby for that!

AlexandraQueen · 09/08/2021 20:38

A bit of an over reaction. I mean yeah, if it was me I'd have wiped the baby down before sleep, but I wouldn't have changed their pj's. And if I'd found them I'd eyeroll and have a little moan at DH but it's really not that big of a deal.

RantyAunty · 09/08/2021 20:39

I'd be livid at his comment that he knew and put the baby to bed like that and grinned about it. Let me guess. You were the one to clean him up and change the bedding too.

He does realise the baby has feelings?

I'd be tempted to "accidently" spill some honey on him while he's asleep.

BusterGonad · 09/08/2021 20:49

I can see why you're annoyed Op, and as you're the one to clean up it must be very grating.

MeridianB · 09/08/2021 20:54

YANBU. That is super lazy and horrible for your baby.

I’m confused about DH’s shruggy reaction. Is he generally just very casual?

Theunamedcat · 09/08/2021 20:57

Is he hairy? Spill some on him

maddiemookins16mum · 09/08/2021 20:58

Was all this from one 5ml sppon?

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/08/2021 20:59

If the baby was happily asleep why bother? And I'm sorry but if my baby was covered in a bottle of calopl I'd be worried about the dose. Are you exaggerating a teeny tiny bit?

NerrSnerr · 09/08/2021 21:02

How many ml was the baby having to start with? I had terrible sleepers so if they were nodding off I wouldn't have woken them to change them but if wide awake I may have done.

Mine are older but small babies have 2.5 or 5ml don't they? That wouldn't cover them I'm sure.

ShowOfHands · 09/08/2021 21:04

"soaked"
"absolutely covered"
"sticky all over"

How much did your dh give to the baby?!

PatriciaBateman · 09/08/2021 21:10

I'd be upset too, but I do think it's hard to judge without seeing exactly what happened - and everyone's idea of "too sticky" vs "leave him to sleep" will be different.

Sitting in his neck creases would be a definite no-no - just for sheer discomfort if nothing else!

But then I have caught even my own DH displaying this weird sort of process that babies don't 'really have feelings'. We had a heated disagreement over circumcision - and his main argument was that he should have it early "so he won't feel it".

I told him I'd be happy to discuss it further with him when he watched a video of a baby having one done. He never brought it up again. (Not to knock people who make other decisions - fitting in culturally is an argument we didn't have though, it was being advocated for cosmetic reasons only.)

I reflected on it afterward and wondered whether he 'really' believed babies didn't feel much, or whether it suited his mental comfort and he knew they couldn't argue otherwise.

I unfortunately believe it was the latter. I think many of us omnivores employ a similar mental 'shield' when it comes to animals. whole other thread

Itsbeen84yearss · 09/08/2021 21:18

I’m guessing this is not the first time he’s done something like this? Symptomatic of bigger issues?
He’s totally out of line. I’d have ripped his head off

Original poster
ThirdElephant · 09/08/2021 21:20

@ShowOfHands

"soaked" "absolutely covered" "sticky all over"

How much did your dh give to the baby?!

Soaked through, I said. As in it'd gone through the onesie and onto the skin beneath it.

I suppose if you want me to be specific I'd specify the stickiness was over his torso from his neck to his belly button, down the left side of his body. Apparently baby took the whole dose and promptly spat it out all over himself.

OP posts:
Firsttimecatlady · 09/08/2021 21:20

@ShowOfHands

"soaked" "absolutely covered" "sticky all over"

How much did your dh give to the baby?!

Exactly this. I’ve had to have the Calpol spoon out tonight- even if I’d poured the entire spoonful over my baby, it wouldn’t “absolutely soak them”. Maybe he missed a few (dozen?) times? I understand you being pissed at his reaction (smirking is the worst), and maybe it feels like yet another job you just have to do yourself- which I also understand (as a life long battler with martyrdom!!) But could those feelings be driving your overreaction a bit??
Original poster
ThirdElephant · 09/08/2021 21:23

I’m confused about DH’s shruggy reaction. Is he generally just very casual?

Oh, incredibly so. It works well for the most part because I'm more highly strung and it calms me down to have him be so relaxed about everything but sometimes we hit a situation where I think it's actually him being too relaxed.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 09/08/2021 21:25

Yabu. If baby was uncomfortable they'd have cried to let you know!

Original poster
ThirdElephant · 09/08/2021 21:28

@MrsTerryPratchett

If the baby was happily asleep why bother? And I'm sorry but if my baby was covered in a bottle of calopl I'd be worried about the dose. Are you exaggerating a teeny tiny bit?
He was awake when the dose was given before bed. He woke up a couple of hours later but was at that drowzy half-asleep stage where it's easier to get them back off than when they're fully awake.

I didn't want to risk his skin being irritated from having medication touching it all night and also I imagine the stickiness is uncomfortable so he probably would wake up more. Plus, he also usually ends up in our bed and I don't want calpol on my sheets (or the cot sheets really).

OP posts:
Ozanj · 09/08/2021 21:28

DH did this so while he slept I poured a bit of calpol down his boxers. He woke up quickly but by then it was almost wax like in consistancy and ripped a hair out or two as he cleaned up - do it to him. He needs to learn.

Original poster
ThirdElephant · 09/08/2021 21:29

@RedHelenB

Yabu. If baby was uncomfortable they'd have cried to let you know!
He did cry? That's why I went in and saw the calpol.
OP posts:
nancydroo · 09/08/2021 21:29

That stuff gets everywhere before the syringes DH regularly dropped it on the floor. Everything will stick to it so OP has no option to clean it all up. Your DH grin would annoy me. YANBU.

Original poster
ThirdElephant · 09/08/2021 21:30

@Ozanj

DH did this so while he slept I poured a bit of calpol down his boxers. He woke up quickly but by then it was almost wax like in consistancy and ripped a hair out or two as he cleaned up - do it to him. He needs to learn.
I don't think I could do this but thank you for the laugh!
OP posts: