Restricting WiFi at night for teen

[MrsPatrickDempsey]

Opinions please

15 yr DS wants unrestricted WiFi access in school holidays, specifically at nighttime. Currently turns off at midnight but this is embarrassing apparently.

What are your rules?
Yabu - no restrictions
Yanbu -turn it off at night

I was that teen that was totally addicted to internet and was on it 24/7. That was a true embarrassment! I wish my parents gave me a bedtime and cared about it enough to cut it off. Most people stopped social media at a reasonable hour, it just showed how off the rails my life was being on it the moment I got in from school to wee hours in morning. SWITCH IT OFF AT NIGHT!!

I’d change it to 2am over the holidays. It must be so annoying and embarrassing to be in the middle of watching something or gaming with friends and have it switch off.

I'm with you OP. If my parents had left the internet on I would have stayed up gaming all night.

He's 15 so it's still your job to look out for him.

My dd is 15 I leave it on in the holidays and on Friday and Saturday nights. The rest of the time it goes off at 9

Has he given a sensible reason for wanting it? Could there be a compromise? Allow the wifi but monitor it so that you know what he's doing. Sounds like his mates are still active after midnight and he's feeling left out.

I'd be tempted to give it to him with expectations of his behaviour if he gets it. More chores, expected to be up and awake by a certain time etc.

If he abuses it, you can always revert back.

Or maybe I'd allow to 1am, but it it negatively affected his behaviour or he was loud and shouting playing games etc it would be back to 12.

I don’t have any restrictions for my teens, holidays or term time. My son regulates himself very well, my daughter often suffers natural consequences. Never later than midnight, though in holidays if we aren’t going anywhere (usually I’m working at home) I let her become nocturnal.

Should add both of them are very well behaved - very lucky (genuinely think it is luck not anything I’ve done, I’m fairly laid back). Things would change fast if they weren’t good kids

My DC always self regulated. If something is freely available it is less desirable.

I leave it in the holidays … she has the odd very very late night .. but is normally quite good. As long as she’s up and about for appointments and trips our, I don’t see the harm

I have no WiFi restrictions for DS 15 or anyone else for that matter.
Everyone here has always self regulated and as he did well in his mocks and knows so long as School work never suffers then I'm pretty relaxed about most things. I don't mind him playing and chatting for hours with his friends and having a haphazard routine during the holidays as he snaps straight back to a routine once back at school. I wouldn't want to get into a battle about it. I've pretty much smoothed out any rough areas over the years so I'm pretty pleased with the outcome so far of my DS and other DC.

If however he was failing at school and behaving badly then yes I would absolutely set restrictions but never just for the sake of it.

My DC do have a couple of friends each who have internet and equipment restrictions which all their friends accept but everyone does think it's unnecessary and a bit controlling and all feel very sorry for them.

Especially as these DC are just expected to sit alone quietly for that time and aren't participating in any family time so are just bored and friendless for a few sad hours.

I assumed there was some reason for a time being set like neglected school work or not getting up in the morning. If he’s not abused it then it does seem OTT.

My parents left the wifi on at night once after I begged and begged. I was about 15?
I stayed up until around 5am and she knocked on my door at 7:15am ready for school the next day.
I never ever used it after 11pm ever again.
I now have my own house and I'm in bed off the internet at 11:30 😂 lesson well and truly learnt.

Hell no to Internet at night. They get 3 hours during the day, and in the holidays they can use this whenever they want. But it goes off at bedtime, even when there is no school the next day.

It's not that I mind them talking to friends. But I do mind the opportunity cost of spending too much time online. Some of my kids self-regulate better than others. But all of them have needed someone to switch off the wifi so it doesn't intrude on sleep, socialising in person, and other activities like reading or playing sport.

I wish my kids could make better decisions about the time they spend online. But I'm pretty good at wasting time on screens and I'm 50. So we have an app that controls their internet access until they are old enough to be responsible - or at least old enough to deal with the consequences of their own decisions.

I have younger teens but I absolutely wouldn't allow 24 hr internet access, it's not necessary whilst sleep is.

Whilst I appreciate many kids are well behaved and don't need regulating, I was absolutely like this. Fortunately my parents just didn't know the half of what I was doing as I made sure they never found out!

At 15 I really wouldn’t expect to be imposing restrictions on wifi or screen usage.

So long as all homework and revision is completed to a high standard in my house, I have no rules on electronics.

At your DS’s age, he really needs to begin self regulating as he’ll be off to uni presumably in a few years and you won’t be there. To be frank if he stays up until 2am in the holidays, so what?

Ime it tends to be the DC whose parents are excessively strict with things like electronics (and alcohol) who become addicted in later life.

@whiteroseredrose

My DC always self regulated. If something is freely available it is less desirable.

Not necessarily. DS1 would game all day and all night if he didn't have to work (his admission)

I think they should be off tech in the middle of the night. My 14yo's phone is locked by 11pm and he's much chirpier for it. He games and sees mates in the day.
I have behavioral problems with my 12yo and currently unable to lock her phone, she stays up until gone 3am. She cannot regulate at all.

I let my 14 year old DD have wifi as much as she wants during the day and she is good at self-regulating and taking a break. But the rule is phones downstairs at night to charge and nobody should be on them in bed. And actually that's a good rule for people of any age.

@stripedbananas

My DC do have a couple of friends each who have internet and equipment restrictions which all their friends accept but everyone does think it's unnecessary and a bit controlling and all feel very sorry for them.

Especially as these DC are just expected to sit alone quietly for that time and aren't participating in any family time so are just bored and friendless for a few sad hours.

A few sad hours after midnight?

My ds is 14 and his goes off at 10pm no argument or he just doesn't have it on the following day. I have however started to let him regulate his own use on a Saturday evening since it's the holidays and find he still brings me the controllers and his phone around the same time anyway.
Maybe meet him in the middle and allow it in certain days.

Surely, if is turned off at night he will use 4G or 3G instead?

Here, it's no devices upstairs. DS spends too much time on computer games anyway. He reads when he goes to bed and normally falls asleep reading.

Mine are not allowed phones etc upstairs after bedtime. Xbox is downstairs.

Non negotiable here.