Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to talk me down from saying something to this rude woman!

46 replies

GrumbleB · 09/08/2021 13:44

I sometimes come to a café near my house for a coffee and cake with DS. He is only 6 months old.

We have to wait to be seated by staff and there was a lady behind me complaining really loudly about staff taking too long to seat us (they were rushing round dealing with customers and we weren't waiting more than a few minutes!).

Then when they said please.come in and take a seat she pushed past me (literally brushed my pram to get past me) and said to her friend 'we need to sit as far away from that baby as possible', loudly enough that she must have known I'd hear.

DS literally wasn't even doing anything, he wasn't crying or anything and he's now asleep whilst I'm having a cake and drink and I can see her keep looking up and over at us.

It's really bugged me, I wish I'd done the typical MN 'did you mean to be so rude?' 🤣

WHY are people so rude?! I don't get it.

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 09/08/2021 13:47

Lie on the floor, wave your legs in the air and scream at the top of your lungs. Tantrum style

That’ll learn ‘em 😉

Seriously though, she sounds pathetic - don’t let her take up head space

OldTinHat · 09/08/2021 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

sqirrelfriends · 09/08/2021 13:53

Urgh, silly bitch.

She must live a really stressful life if she gets so annoyed every time she sees a young child.

Maybe she's just having a bad day. It's nothing to do with you so don't take it personally.

Wearywithteens · 09/08/2021 13:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Sparklesocks · 09/08/2021 14:00

Maybe she was just in a bad mood and being unfairly rude, but maybe she’s just one of ‘those’ - people like that seem to enjoy being annoyed so they have something to complain about.
I know it’s easier said than done but try not to let it bother you, imagine the aggro you’d feel if that’s how all your interactions went!

HollowTalk · 09/08/2021 14:03

I think I'd leave while he's asleep and say to her, "Just thought I should know that I heard you then. You might want to reconsider how loudly you talk in future. I came in here for a break with my baby and you have really upset me." Then walk off. Make sure her friend hears you.

ApolloandDaphne · 09/08/2021 14:03

Every time she looks at you give her a big beaming smile back. That will probably confuse her.

grey12 · 09/08/2021 14:03

@Wearywithteens everyone tries to sit away from small kids sure Wink but to say it loudly like that and push past is very rude

Tbh I don't mind tiny babies, even crying ones. But I do mind older kids playing loud games on their phones Confused there is a mute button you horrible parents!!!

mbosnz · 09/08/2021 14:05

It must be very hard living in her angry, rude and miserable head. Don't occupy it with her any longer than you have to.

TheGumption · 09/08/2021 14:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Oversize · 09/08/2021 14:08

Yep. And a cheery little waveGrin

aiwblam · 09/08/2021 14:09

People are just terrible these days.

I wouldn’t say anything though. That kind of person will just be even more of a twat if you do.

ThePlantsitter · 09/08/2021 14:09

If people piss me off in public and I'm too scared to say anything I find imaginative ways to stick a middle finger up at them, eg scratch my cheek with my middle finger, just casually hold it there pointing upwards as if I always have my hand like that, hold my drink with my middle finger out so when I tip it up it's pointing at them etc. You can see them wondering to themselves if you are actually doing it sometimes.

Very very childish and obviously much better to be direct but it makes me feel better!

arethereanyleftatall · 09/08/2021 14:09

I would actually assume she's had some recent bad news regarding babies, if your baby wasn't making any noise. I wouldn't give it a further thought.

atlastifoundit · 09/08/2021 14:13

"It's all right, you did me a favour because I wouldn't want to sit near anyone like you".

Yrevocsid · 09/08/2021 14:18

I am deeply unconfrontational so I would most likely write a little note to her, saying that she really upset you with her rudeness towards you and your baby. Just short like that but so she knows it upset you.

Then if she leaves before you you got it off your chest and can just screw the note up and bin it.

But if you leave first ask a passing waitress to give it to her. And then scarper.

MyCatEatsPrawnCrackers · 09/08/2021 14:19

@TheGumption

She's just a mean old lady. Ignore her. Best that those types feel invisible rather than get a load of attention.
Why make the assumption that the rude woman was also old ?
AmyDudley · 09/08/2021 14:22

say in a very loud voice how grateful you are that you weren't seated next to the VERY OLD and RUDE woman with NO MANNERS

She's just a mean old lady

Can we not have this casual ageism? - don;t use 'old' as an insult, there are lots of older people who are perfectly pleasant - just like younger people we come in all shapes, sizes, colours, and dispositions. And OP doesn't in fact say the woman was old she says she was rude which you have both assumed equates to old.
We all get old at some time (if we are lucky),we don;t suddenly stop being the people we were when younger and turn into child hating, young people abusing, nasty people.

For what it is worth OP - as an older woman I think the woman you encountered was very rude but best to just ignore people like this. I'm in my sixties and am happy to sit near and interact with children and babies, I would never say anything rude like this. I have spent my whole working life working with children and and enjoy seeing them out and about, and if I say anything about children to their parents it is always something pleasant.

itsgettingwierd · 09/08/2021 14:24

@Wearywithteens

I’m a mother of 3 but I avoid sitting by babies and young children too if I can. Lots of parents are oblivious to the noise and shrieks of their own children but it hurts my ears and I don’t want it, especially if I’m having a cup of coffee and a chat with a friend. I think you’re taking this way too personally. She was pointing out a potential source of discomfort and where she didn’t want to sit. She wasn’t saying anything personal about you or your baby. She was blunt but so what? One day, after a thousand of these sorts of encounters, you’ll be less sensitive to every other single person in the world. Like her.
What was the reason she pushed past the OP who was in the queue in front of her then?

If she doesn't want to sit near children or Bavaria wait your turn for a table that suits you!

itsgettingwierd · 09/08/2021 14:27

Interestingly someone I know has just written a post if FB about how she had her first swim at leisure centre under new band system and was annoyed at having her session wasted whilst she waited behind others who was aggressively complaining about the session time and bands.

It's the Over 60's session.

She said it's always that group complaining about youth but they never think they should behave nicely!

youdoyoutoday · 09/08/2021 14:36

See now I'm the type who would have pulled her up on that, very loudly!

godmum56 · 09/08/2021 14:42

yeah damn those Bavarians :)

ladycarlotta · 09/08/2021 14:46

children I can tolerate in cafes - Bavaria, no. Hard limit.

Whyemseeaye · 09/08/2021 14:49

I’d have asked her straight away if she was talking about me. People seem to be genuinely shocked when they’re pulled up on their rudeness. If the answer was yes I would’ve told her in no uncertain terms to FUCK OFF

JudgeJ · 09/08/2021 14:50

@ApolloandDaphne

Every time she looks at you give her a big beaming smile back. That will probably confuse her.
That's the sort of thing I'd do, blowing kisses also annoys people, passive aggression is always the best sort.
Swipe left for the next trending thread