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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I want revenge

46 replies

Abandonedforerin · 08/08/2021 23:16

I know people will say the best revenge is getting on with your life etc but I just can't . I want to pay back these fuckers that have ruined my life I wanna see them suffer like they've made me. aibu ?

OP posts:
sundaydayisnotmyfundayday · 08/08/2021 23:17

Please may I have a smidgen of context?

Doublestar · 08/08/2021 23:18

Kippers behind the radiators?

But I get the feeling that's not the kind of revenge you mean?

CampAshpit · 08/08/2021 23:19

If they deserve it then yes

BetsyBigNose · 08/08/2021 23:30

@Abandonedforerin it depends on what they did to you - I'm sure we can come up with some wonderfully creative ideas for revenge once we know what sort of level of mischief/evil is required!

Gazelda · 08/08/2021 23:33

If you took some sort of revenge, would you look back six months later and be glad you did it, or regretful?

UnGoogled · 08/08/2021 23:34

Revenge upon those who have wronged you? Of course yanbu. Unfortunately, life isn't as cute and dry as that.... personally, the best revenge I can serve up is a life well lived, without the fuckers involvement. Anything else would be useless and a waste of energy.

XenoBitch · 08/08/2021 23:36

Seeing whoever wronged you suffer wont undo what they did to you, and it wont make you suffer less either.

DrSbaitso · 08/08/2021 23:40

Well, you know what they say about revenge: first, dig two graves. In your case, x + 1 graves, I guess, depending on how many victims you intend to have.

Fantasy is a good thing sometimes. Maybe write them into a story.

Suzi888 · 08/08/2021 23:41

Never use bleach Wink cold water first!

FlorenceNightshade · 08/08/2021 23:44

I don’t go looking for them but if an opportunity ever presents itself for a little revenge on someone I take it. Every.Time. Makes me feel better.

I don’t dwell and don’t give headspace to people who bring negativity. But once in a blue moon I’ll find a way to even the score a little

Holothane · 08/08/2021 23:45

Leave them Kama will hit big time believe me it will.

Howshouldibehave · 08/08/2021 23:47

I think knowing if the person you want revenge from, stole your husband or inadvertently used your mug at work would be useful info here…

SpindleWhorl · 08/08/2021 23:49

Depends.

Original poster
Abandonedforerin · 08/08/2021 23:53

Long story short separated 14 months, younger girl involved all his friends knew nobody told me. Owns 3 businesses thinks I only know about 2. Gives me 400 a month he makes that in about 5 hours. Brought my daughter up from the age of 1 shes now 15 ( we have 2 together) when dc was with him yesterday he told him not to mention her to anyone as she's not his real sister.
Said I'm harassing and following his friends when I wasn't they were actually behind me. Told him lies things I hadn't even said. He knows I still love him ( hate myself for this) ffs too many things to even write but I just fucking hate them all. They're all working and claiming benefits (not him) I feel like reporting them all. I know its petty but I just want them to pay

OP posts:
Boredmotherofone · 09/08/2021 00:03

@Abandonedforerin

Long story short separated 14 months, younger girl involved all his friends knew nobody told me. Owns 3 businesses thinks I only know about 2. Gives me 400 a month he makes that in about 5 hours. Brought my daughter up from the age of 1 shes now 15 ( we have 2 together) when dc was with him yesterday he told him not to mention her to anyone as she's not his real sister. Said I'm harassing and following his friends when I wasn't they were actually behind me. Told him lies things I hadn't even said. He knows I still love him ( hate myself for this) ffs too many things to even write but I just fucking hate them all. They're all working and claiming benefits (not him) I feel like reporting them all. I know its petty but I just want them to pay
I know this feeling OP. There used to be a website called 'RevengeGuy' but it got shut down....unsurprisingly.

I completely understand your feelings. I will say though, MN is not the best place to discuss revenge. There's far too many virtue signalers who will simply tear you apart and passive aggressively call you immature. What you're feeling though 100% natural & normal. Just stay within the law for gawd's sake! GinThanks

DrSbaitso · 09/08/2021 00:05

So it's only one fucker, your lying and cheating ex.

People who treat everyone like dirt don't usually thrive too much, they make too many enemies. He is obviously a reverse Midas in that everything he touches gets covered in shit. Rather than bringing him down, I'd just work on getting away. Your children can't be far off adulthood so protect them from him as best you can, talk to CMS about his situation to try to get everything you're entitled to, and soon you will be able to avoid him entirely. Once the poison is gone you won't need revenge. The air will be sweet.

QueenBee52 · 09/08/2021 00:06

Tax Man .. ☎️

Original poster
Abandonedforerin · 09/08/2021 00:08

Dc are 9 and 11. Not just him, all of them, they all love the fact that this has happened and are trying to cause as much shit as they possibly can

OP posts:
Booboosweet · 09/08/2021 00:08

If they're all working and claiming benefits I'd report them all anyway as a matter of course.

DeflatedGinDrinker · 09/08/2021 00:09

Make a doll of him and stick pins in it then set it on fire. Then have wine. Will make you feel better.

DrSbaitso · 09/08/2021 00:10

OP said he's not working and claiming benefits, others are.

I suppose you could report them for that.

StealthRoast · 09/08/2021 00:10

Op I can understand your anger. He’s vile.
However, they are likely to point the finger at you if they all start getting caught out.

My ex has been a shit throughout ds’s life regarding money and now ds is 18 he no longer pays. I reckon he was counting down the days but I know for sure that although he’s loaded and has the big house etc etc he’s miserable as sin with his life and his marriage because he has told me!
I take my revenge in being happy and living a good life. Karma will bite him on the arse one day so let it happen that way.

Also it can be said that him seeing you getting on with your life will make him uneasy and unhappy. My ex didn’t want me but he didn’t want anyone else to either.

Be the bigger person here. Bitterness shows in your face. Let it go and make your peace with it in your head. Fantasies are great and don’t land us in trouble.... you can be all kinds of nasty and horrible in your head without actually doing/saying anything out loud. Try it Smile

maddy68 · 09/08/2021 00:11

Why??? That takes energy. Why not direct that Into something positive? Just move forward and direct all energy into something positive , you'll feel way better for it

justvegetables · 09/08/2021 00:12

NC

My experience with this. I was hurt so badly by someone that the idea of revenge consumed me. I knew it wasn't reasonable, rational or a good use of my time. I just wanted the fucker to hurt like he had hurt me. So I plotted, I spent hours, days, months working up to a point where I could really hurt him. And I did. And then what?

Looking back, I felt good. I felt good for a week or two. "Finally what that son of a bitch deserves". But it didn't really help me move on. Or change my life positively. Or bring about any lasting change in him. It just consumed me, even after I had my "revenge". I didn't find any closure or peace I had expected. It lead to... Did I hurt him enough? When is enough? When do I call it quits and just move the fuck on and be happy?

Now, years on, after the emotions and anger have faded, what I did seems like such a massive waste of my time, my life and my energy. I am not sure it was worth it, tbh.

Iamthewombat · 09/08/2021 00:12

They're all working and claiming benefits (not him) I feel like reporting them all.

Well, report them then. You’re being a good citizen, I suppose. After that, leave it.

It probably won’t make you feel much better, because you’ll never know the outcome, and it won’t affect your ex, so eventually you’ll have to come to terms with what has happened and move on or you’ll be unhappy for years. Tell yourself that karma will do the work for you, or something like that.

I’m sorry that you have had an unhappy experience.