Sister wanting to stay in our house

[Emrew05]

So my sister lives 100 miles away, moved away when she got with her husband. We get on well and what not but don't spend a massive amount of time together. We just don't gel together for long periods, our parenting views differ etc. Quick bit of a back story. My sister isn't known for a well kept house and things often mysteriously break when she borrows them... so we recently moved house. Our new house has a bigger garden and more living space. When my sister and her family came to see the new house one of the first things she said was that they had been talking about us and them doing a "house swap for a weekend". She described it as an air B&B style scenario. It felt a bit on the spot ish and after they left DH and I both agreed we don't really fancy it and it just felt odd. She now knows that we are going camping for the weekend and is asking when we are going (I'm guessing so she can ask if she can stay in our house while we are away). DH said he'll happily just tell her straight that he's not comfortable with it but they are more than welcome to stay to spend time with us. AIBU to want to make up an excuse to avoid the awkwardness of that (is it awkward or am I over thinking it?!)

Thanks for taking the time to read! 😊

@Southwestrunningmum

I would not have an issue with any of my family staying in my home when away m.

I bloody would! No way would it happen and I don't care who gets offended.

@Southwestrunningmum

I would not have an issue with any of my family staying in my home when away m.

I don't believe you 🤣

Good for you, southwestrunningmum, but the op isn't you, her sibling isn't your sibling and she doesn't want a messy person who breaks her belongings let loose in her home while she's not there. If you're fine with your messy relatives breaking your belongings then fair enough.

[quote Newestname001]@Emrew05

I'm a shameless people pleaser that hate confrontation....totally right about the irony of the situation!

That's why she's asked you! She's got a tougher skin than you think so say No clearly, however nicely, so there's no room for her to negotiate.

BTW saying "no" is a useful life skill and gets easier the more you do it. 🌹[/quote]
You are right, she's pretty shameless to be honest, for example; one time while she was visiting she out of the blue asked me if I had any clothes or toys she could have for her son that mine had grown out of or didn't want anymore. If she was skint I could understand but her husband earns about 30k more than mine does and we don't struggle! So yes intentionally or not she's using the fact that I always try to help people and don't like to feel like I'm letting people down but that's on me to toughen up!

@TwoLeftElbows

I know PPs are right that no is a complete sentence etc.

IRL I would be tempted to go with something like "absolutely not, I'd have to do a tonne of cleaning and tidying to make it guest ready, I really can't do all that extra work on top of camping." She'll say oh but you don't need to, you say you would inevitably would for any guests, and it's just not an option on top of prep for camping. Point out and reject the extra work, rather than her. But then, I am a sap.

This is prob something I would do too with my husband in the background mouthing "just tell her straight!!!" 🤣🤣🤣

@GrandmaSteglitszch

YABU to want to make up a pathetic excuse that she won't believe anyway.

Leave it to DH, as you're too much of a wimp.

Phew....no punches held here!

Loving this thread as DH’s sister, her husband and DC landed on us uninvited this weekend with four hours notice. They’re traveling round GB for their hols from their home down south and so far have managed to blag free accommodation and meals for every night of the past week and they’re by no means short of money.
They were a bit reluctant to leave tbh and DH hissed at me “don’t tell them we’re away tomorrow night otherwise they’ll stay”.
They have form for doing that before- came one Xmas and when they found out we we’re going away for NYE just stayed on. We thought they were never going home .

@JosephineDeBeauharnais

Loving this thread as DH’s sister, her husband and DC landed on us uninvited this weekend with four hours notice. They’re traveling round GB for their hols from their home down south and so far have managed to blag free accommodation and meals for every night of the past week and they’re by no means short of money. They were a bit reluctant to leave tbh and DH hissed at me “don’t tell them we’re away tomorrow night otherwise they’ll stay”. They have form for doing that before- came one Xmas and when they found out we we’re going away for NYE just stayed on. We thought they were never going home .

Haha! Glad I'm not the only one dealing with stuff like this!!!