I really don't know if I abu or not. I can't turn voting on because I'm on the app.
DH has a hobby that he's not been able to do for a long time because of covid. It's a big number of people (thousands) attending sort of thing. There is an event coming up in a couple of weeks which coincides with our sons birthday (well it's the day after). Sons birthday party (family only and first one that he will remember) is due to be on that day.
Now, if the event was in the UK I wouldn't have an issue with him going, I'd prefer that he didn't but would be ok with it and I would just move the birthday party to the following day (Sunday). But. The event is in a currently amber list country. I know if he goes my family won't want to be around him the following day because of the risk that they'll need to isolate if he brings it back, and he'll need to be quarantining anyway so I don't even think we can do it. Some have small children going back to or starting school the following week (as do we!) some don't get paid for time off, one is a teacher due back to work the following week and two are emergency services so really don't want to be isolating! We cannot do birthday party on the actual birthday because that is a weekday and family members are at work.
We actually think the event may be rescheduled in which case this is a non issue. But in the event that it's not and he goes I have said to DH that actually I am going to have the party on the Saturday with our families and without him, and I would prefer it if he kept away for a week after because I really don't want him to bringing covid back and disrupting our children starting/returning to school. I'm not particularly worried about becoming unwell, we're all doubled jabbed (apart from the children obvs) but our children have SEN and their transitions to their new classes have been carefully planned in line with EHCPs. If they have to miss the first week or two of school it's going to be a total bloody nightmare and will really set my eldest back.
DH is cross and says I'm ridiculous and that I can't have a birthday party for our son without him and he's not keeping away missing our youngest son first day at school (I think he'd have to anyway, because quarantine!) We could pick up covid anywhere - including school. Which is true, we're not staying closeted at home but we aren't doing mass events, we're doing a lot of outdoor stuff we're continuing to wear masks. Just generally behaving sensibly and cautiously.
I just don't feel that travelling to an amber list country for a jolly at the moment is a good idea, especially considering it'll be so close to school start, and I don't think if he chooses to then I'm in the wrong for doing our sons party without him and asking him to stay away for a bit. He disagrees. Who is UR?